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forbarrayar2017-06-02 11:16 pm
barrayarmods) wrote in forbarrayar2017-06-02 11:16 pm
Entry tags:
[ june i log: this is a second coming, this is a call to arms ]
Who: Everyone
What: In the wake of the total destruction of Vorkosigan Vashnoi, both sides decide it's time to focus on how they can hit the Cetagandans back the hardest: right in the Star Gate. The floodgates on intelligence channels open up, and for the first time, outsiders on both sides are working together to pull one over on the Cetagandans.
When: June 1st - 18th
Where: the Barrayaran camp, the Cetagandan base, Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD
Quick links:
Riverfall
Barrayar: Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Base / Missions
TIMELINE
6/5 Eavesdropping
6/12 Recon: Sabotage
6/14 Scouting: Perimeter
6/16 Scouting: Shipyard
6/17 Recon: Countermeasures
riverfall
The village has been mired in just as much grief and despair as the war camps in the wake of the bombing of Vorkosigan Vashnoi. Even for those who had no familial or concrete connection to the city itself held it as a symbol of the strength of their district, a reminder of what they were fighting for. Now it's just a radioactive crater.
Tensions have only heightened in the village since they started taking refugees in from other parts of the mountains. The Cetagandans know well by now that outsiders and soldiers from the Barrayaran camp regularly turn up in the village -- that is how they got the Princess, after all -- and they're putting the Riverfall villagers under heavy scrutiny. The Cetagandan patrols have been getting increasingly aggressive with the villagers, almost interrogating them about their fellow citizens, and for the first time the occupying forces seem to be trying to force a census. They want every single resident of that village accounted for so they can know who to look for -- who doesn't belong.
But the villagers are loyal, especially to those who have earned their trust, whatever side they're on, and even in the face of this adversity they'll protect their countrymen and the outsiders as much as they can.
barrayar
The Barrayarans are devastated by the bombing, especially those native to the district -- many of them lost friends and family in the city. Meanwhile, Piotr's intelligence sources tell him that Zahal's reinforcements are finally arriving, making the base much less vulnerable to a second attack. He's getting intelligence about much more, however: thanks to the informants on the Cetagandan side, he knows that they're about to begin construction on the Star Gate; if they want to ensure the Cetagandans don't abuse it, they'll have to act fast. Piotr has also received information on the Handmaiden's disturbing black market negotiation from multiple sources, and the prospect of the outsiders' DNA being released out into the black market, especially with the reports about the gene therapy trials, is plenty terrifying for all to consider.
In the aftermath of the attack, the Barrayarans are at a loss, their whole strategy derailed. They were counting on being able to use Vorkosigan Vashnoi as a new power base with actual leverage, and with their newly-arrived reinforcements, the Cetagandans are nowhere near as vulnerable as they'd been before -- certainly not as vulnerable to a second attack. But Piotr decides then that the best way to get back at Zahal and the rest of the Cetagandans is by targeting the projects they're investing the most in: their work with the outsiders' DNA, and especially the Star Gate Project. Most of the outsiders have put their lives on the line for the Barrayaran cause at least once, and if there is a way to send them home and still keep the Cetagandans from abusing this tech, then it's worth pursuing.
Contact has been initiated with Micah, and they have proposed a plan to hijack the Star Gate and use it to send everyone home before the Cetagandans can so much as flip the switch. Piotr agrees to try and get as many exotics out as possible as well, since some of them have been risking their own necks as informants, but it's up to Micah to coordinate that end of things. Of course, if the possibility of sending them home goes completely off the table, Piotr will settle for just destroying the Star Gate, but that's plan B -- and hardly the full plan. Part of the reason Piotr thinks going through with Micah's plan is worth the risk is because Micah has -- or will have -- measures in place to ensure the Cetagandans cannot recreate their research, or, if they can get hold of another nuclear device, even penetrate the supposedly-collapsed wormhole. Piotr's decision to endorse Micah's plan is controversial and unpopular, its most vocal opposition coming from Vorvolk. Yuri, too, has expressed disagreement with Piotr's new strategy, but not quite as vehemently. He seems to have other things on his mind.
But Dorca isn't overriding Piotr's decision -- it's Piotr's district they're fighting in, after all -- and Yuri, despite his open disagreement, doesn't intervene when Piotr starts putting his words into action. So now it's time to start to formulate a plan, collaborate with their allies on the other side, and begin to gather intelligence. However, they have to be even more careful about their movements than ever: the Cetagandans are making a more concentrated effort at finding them now that they've destroyed the city, and aerial surveillance is at an all-time high. Too much visible movement in the mountains puts them at risk, and now that the weather's warmer, they're keeping open fires to a minimum, especially at night.
camp
Natasha, having fled the Cetagandan base last month, has been in camp since shortly after the bombing, easily granted sanctuary given her status as an informant while on the other side. On the 2nd, a Barrayaran scouting party runs afoul of a Cetagandan patrol, and a bloody skirmish breaks out, with the Cetagandans ultimately claiming victory, though there are plenty of casualties on both sides. Maine is one of them, having gone down fighting and taking a few Cetagandans with him. It wasn't pretty, and the last few surviving Barrayarans only just barely managed a retreat, but one of them managed to retrieve and return Maine's bloody dog tags to his friends. Shortly thereafter, Wash disappears from camp without notice -- and then returns just as abruptly a few days later. He debriefs only with Piotr, but a few grisly rumors about what he was up to during that time start floating around camp.
Both Yuri and Vorvolk are vocal in their opinion that they have no business bothering with philanthropy in a war this dire. They should aim for nothing less than the total destruction of the Star Gate Project, and fast -- though Piotr does not think they quite grasp the scope of it, that it is hardly that simple. The growing tensions between Vorvolk and Piotr come to a head when the General stands by his plan, resulting in an ugly confrontation -- Vorvolk publicly questions Piotr's judgment, suggesting it's been compromised by the outsiders. After all, he's not only let outsiders into his army, but women and mutants as well -- evidence, perhaps, that General Vorkosigan is going soft, losing his edge, or so Vorvolk says. Unfortunately, Piotr does not receive this sort of challenge to his authority especially well.
He viciously tears Vorvolk apart just as publicly, denouncing him as a man with wavering loyalty and honor, and he explains in no uncertain terms just why he's doing what he's decided to do -- and if his soldiers don't like it, if they can't fall in line behind a commanding officer that's led them to victory after victory, then they might as well take off their uniforms right here and now. In his impromptu but impassioned speech, Piotr points out to his own men how the outsiders, however reluctant at first, have demonstrated the virtues of honor and courage, how they've laid their lives on the line more than once in the name of someone else's cause, with no guarantee of return, and that the same can be said for Micah. At the end of his tirade, he publicly strips Vorvolk of his rank as Colonel and summarily demotes him to Captain.
The camp is still politically restless, too. Some conversations may be overheard between Yuri and his father or advisors, a continuation on the subject of him finding a new wife now that all of his heirs have died before him. Yuri never seems to be in the mood for this conversation -- at one point he can be snapping back at one of his advisors a retort along the lines of where am I going to find a wife in a mountain full of backwater hicks, pointing out that the only unmarried Vor lady for a hundred kilometers is his niece Sonia, and while he may have Vorrutyer blood, that doesn't mean he has to act like one. And at any rate, he can be heard saying at another time, at this rate Sonia will be lucky to marry a Count's heir, let alone anyone with an actual title.
missions
Scouting of both the Cetagandan compound perimeter and the shipyard itself go fairly successfully, and the Barrayarans glean quite a bit of useful intelligence. One hitch, however: Miles is captured during the perimeter security scouting mission, identified as the time traveler as revealed to the Cetagandans by Sonia and then Byerly under fast-penta.
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
cetaganda
With only partial power, the base is still in somewhat of a state of chaos until the reinforcements finally arrive from central command -- reinforcements putting them up to 8,000 total troops plus a considerable supply drop which, while it does not entirely recoup the heavy losses they've suffered over the last few months, definitely aids their rebuilding efforts. Large-scale repairs on the base begin with power-aided equipment, starting with the most critical infrastructure damage.
It isn't until a day or so after the bombing that Gail ghem-Estif was declared MIA and then, after a few reluctant witnesses stepped forward, about as confirmed dead as they were going to get. According to a couple of ensigns, he'd taken an aircar without authorization and headed, as far as they could tell, straight for the city in a fit of desperation. Given the timing, he wouldn't have made it back in time.
Pleased with his win and regaining the upper hand at last, Zahal now focuses his efforts at building up their armaments. They cannot allow such a vicious attack on their base again, after all, and so he increases the guard patrol presence on base by about 50%. The Barrayarans won't find it so easy to just slip right in this time.
With the city destroyed, Zahal's new goal is to smoke out the Barrayaran camp again -- they did it six months ago, he's sure they can do it again now. He knows by now that the Emperor and Crown Prince themselves are here, and if he can expose the guerrilla camp and capture them -- or better yet, simply drop an airstrike on them -- well, it'd certainly do a lot for the war effort, not to mention his career. This is, after all, an unprecedented opportunity to knock some major players out o f the war. And with no city to defend, he has more troops to dedicate to aerial surveillance and ground patrols -- although the guerrillas have gotten good at confusing the Cetagandans treading in still-unfamiliar territory.
base
Now that they have power and the proper resources, construction on the Star Gate officially begins. The Cetagandans have (reluctantly) signed off on the use of one ship to host the Star Gate, as well as downgrade another jump ship to local-only flight by removing and repurposing its Necklin rods to generate a Niadem field instead, as well as gutting its jump drive for auxiliary/backup use. Since the Star Gate is meant to be stationary, only built into a jump ship for convenience, part of the Star Gate construction involves disabling the flight mechanics of the ship. They unfortunately cannot remove or destroy them, as they have a vital connection with the jump drive, which is a critical component of the Star Gate. Micah and Symmetra are also secretly installing a failsafe intended to be triggered after everyone is sent home that will quite literally fry every bit of circuitry in the Star Gate.
With contact finally established with Micah, they work through the informants with Piotr to formulate a plan and spread the word. Between Kaidan, who has been acting as an informant for the Barrayarans, and Micah, the whole lab team should soon be aware of the plan to hijack the Star Gate, use it to send everyone home, and then ensure the Cetagandans will never be able to use it themselves. If they can detonate a nuclear bomb inside the wormhole, it should cut off all access to the wormhole completely, at least for a time. Right now Micah is asking that Deanna, Kaidan and Symmetra share the plan with those they believe they can trust enough to cooperate and not rat them out to the Cetagandans; they'd like to see everyone get home, and the more people they have on the same page, the better their odds of success. Vex'ahlia, the other remaining informant handled by Lakshmi, provides the other point of contact to try and bring the other exotics into the fold. Lapis has also been in direct contact with Sonia in order to spread the word. Whenever Micah discusses the ongoing plans to hijack the Star Gate, they always refer to it as the midnight shift. It's not the most opaque code word, but it's better than none.
Micah's plan, as they propose it to Piotr, is that they run a cross-faction operation to hijack the Star Gate ship and fly it off planet. They believe they have a greater chance of success closer to the collapsed wormhole, given that the Niadem field is strongest there. It will require a lot of coordination and extreme care to keep the Cetagandans from finding out, but Micah believes they can get everyone on board the Star Gate ship and re-engage the flight mechanics quickly enough to take off. Of course, they'll need a diversion, possibly even covering fire -- and a way to keep the Cetagandans from following them or shooting them out of the sky. They'll also need a pilot…but Micah has the feeling they might be the only one even remotely qualified for that job.
missions
The recon missions go well -- not only do their security assessments yield some juicy intel, they also uncover the Cetagandans' supply of nuclear weapons and they come up with a couple of different plans to sabotage the Cetagandans' remaining operational ships. Plus, more eavesdropping!
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
What: In the wake of the total destruction of Vorkosigan Vashnoi, both sides decide it's time to focus on how they can hit the Cetagandans back the hardest: right in the Star Gate. The floodgates on intelligence channels open up, and for the first time, outsiders on both sides are working together to pull one over on the Cetagandans.
When: June 1st - 18th
Where: the Barrayaran camp, the Cetagandan base, Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD
Riverfall
Barrayar: Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Base / Missions
TIMELINE
6/5 Eavesdropping
6/12 Recon: Sabotage
6/14 Scouting: Perimeter
6/16 Scouting: Shipyard
6/17 Recon: Countermeasures
riverfall
The village has been mired in just as much grief and despair as the war camps in the wake of the bombing of Vorkosigan Vashnoi. Even for those who had no familial or concrete connection to the city itself held it as a symbol of the strength of their district, a reminder of what they were fighting for. Now it's just a radioactive crater.
Tensions have only heightened in the village since they started taking refugees in from other parts of the mountains. The Cetagandans know well by now that outsiders and soldiers from the Barrayaran camp regularly turn up in the village -- that is how they got the Princess, after all -- and they're putting the Riverfall villagers under heavy scrutiny. The Cetagandan patrols have been getting increasingly aggressive with the villagers, almost interrogating them about their fellow citizens, and for the first time the occupying forces seem to be trying to force a census. They want every single resident of that village accounted for so they can know who to look for -- who doesn't belong.
But the villagers are loyal, especially to those who have earned their trust, whatever side they're on, and even in the face of this adversity they'll protect their countrymen and the outsiders as much as they can.
barrayar
The Barrayarans are devastated by the bombing, especially those native to the district -- many of them lost friends and family in the city. Meanwhile, Piotr's intelligence sources tell him that Zahal's reinforcements are finally arriving, making the base much less vulnerable to a second attack. He's getting intelligence about much more, however: thanks to the informants on the Cetagandan side, he knows that they're about to begin construction on the Star Gate; if they want to ensure the Cetagandans don't abuse it, they'll have to act fast. Piotr has also received information on the Handmaiden's disturbing black market negotiation from multiple sources, and the prospect of the outsiders' DNA being released out into the black market, especially with the reports about the gene therapy trials, is plenty terrifying for all to consider.
In the aftermath of the attack, the Barrayarans are at a loss, their whole strategy derailed. They were counting on being able to use Vorkosigan Vashnoi as a new power base with actual leverage, and with their newly-arrived reinforcements, the Cetagandans are nowhere near as vulnerable as they'd been before -- certainly not as vulnerable to a second attack. But Piotr decides then that the best way to get back at Zahal and the rest of the Cetagandans is by targeting the projects they're investing the most in: their work with the outsiders' DNA, and especially the Star Gate Project. Most of the outsiders have put their lives on the line for the Barrayaran cause at least once, and if there is a way to send them home and still keep the Cetagandans from abusing this tech, then it's worth pursuing.
Contact has been initiated with Micah, and they have proposed a plan to hijack the Star Gate and use it to send everyone home before the Cetagandans can so much as flip the switch. Piotr agrees to try and get as many exotics out as possible as well, since some of them have been risking their own necks as informants, but it's up to Micah to coordinate that end of things. Of course, if the possibility of sending them home goes completely off the table, Piotr will settle for just destroying the Star Gate, but that's plan B -- and hardly the full plan. Part of the reason Piotr thinks going through with Micah's plan is worth the risk is because Micah has -- or will have -- measures in place to ensure the Cetagandans cannot recreate their research, or, if they can get hold of another nuclear device, even penetrate the supposedly-collapsed wormhole. Piotr's decision to endorse Micah's plan is controversial and unpopular, its most vocal opposition coming from Vorvolk. Yuri, too, has expressed disagreement with Piotr's new strategy, but not quite as vehemently. He seems to have other things on his mind.
But Dorca isn't overriding Piotr's decision -- it's Piotr's district they're fighting in, after all -- and Yuri, despite his open disagreement, doesn't intervene when Piotr starts putting his words into action. So now it's time to start to formulate a plan, collaborate with their allies on the other side, and begin to gather intelligence. However, they have to be even more careful about their movements than ever: the Cetagandans are making a more concentrated effort at finding them now that they've destroyed the city, and aerial surveillance is at an all-time high. Too much visible movement in the mountains puts them at risk, and now that the weather's warmer, they're keeping open fires to a minimum, especially at night.
camp
Natasha, having fled the Cetagandan base last month, has been in camp since shortly after the bombing, easily granted sanctuary given her status as an informant while on the other side. On the 2nd, a Barrayaran scouting party runs afoul of a Cetagandan patrol, and a bloody skirmish breaks out, with the Cetagandans ultimately claiming victory, though there are plenty of casualties on both sides. Maine is one of them, having gone down fighting and taking a few Cetagandans with him. It wasn't pretty, and the last few surviving Barrayarans only just barely managed a retreat, but one of them managed to retrieve and return Maine's bloody dog tags to his friends. Shortly thereafter, Wash disappears from camp without notice -- and then returns just as abruptly a few days later. He debriefs only with Piotr, but a few grisly rumors about what he was up to during that time start floating around camp.
Both Yuri and Vorvolk are vocal in their opinion that they have no business bothering with philanthropy in a war this dire. They should aim for nothing less than the total destruction of the Star Gate Project, and fast -- though Piotr does not think they quite grasp the scope of it, that it is hardly that simple. The growing tensions between Vorvolk and Piotr come to a head when the General stands by his plan, resulting in an ugly confrontation -- Vorvolk publicly questions Piotr's judgment, suggesting it's been compromised by the outsiders. After all, he's not only let outsiders into his army, but women and mutants as well -- evidence, perhaps, that General Vorkosigan is going soft, losing his edge, or so Vorvolk says. Unfortunately, Piotr does not receive this sort of challenge to his authority especially well.
He viciously tears Vorvolk apart just as publicly, denouncing him as a man with wavering loyalty and honor, and he explains in no uncertain terms just why he's doing what he's decided to do -- and if his soldiers don't like it, if they can't fall in line behind a commanding officer that's led them to victory after victory, then they might as well take off their uniforms right here and now. In his impromptu but impassioned speech, Piotr points out to his own men how the outsiders, however reluctant at first, have demonstrated the virtues of honor and courage, how they've laid their lives on the line more than once in the name of someone else's cause, with no guarantee of return, and that the same can be said for Micah. At the end of his tirade, he publicly strips Vorvolk of his rank as Colonel and summarily demotes him to Captain.
The camp is still politically restless, too. Some conversations may be overheard between Yuri and his father or advisors, a continuation on the subject of him finding a new wife now that all of his heirs have died before him. Yuri never seems to be in the mood for this conversation -- at one point he can be snapping back at one of his advisors a retort along the lines of where am I going to find a wife in a mountain full of backwater hicks, pointing out that the only unmarried Vor lady for a hundred kilometers is his niece Sonia, and while he may have Vorrutyer blood, that doesn't mean he has to act like one. And at any rate, he can be heard saying at another time, at this rate Sonia will be lucky to marry a Count's heir, let alone anyone with an actual title.
missions
Scouting of both the Cetagandan compound perimeter and the shipyard itself go fairly successfully, and the Barrayarans glean quite a bit of useful intelligence. One hitch, however: Miles is captured during the perimeter security scouting mission, identified as the time traveler as revealed to the Cetagandans by Sonia and then Byerly under fast-penta.
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
cetaganda
With only partial power, the base is still in somewhat of a state of chaos until the reinforcements finally arrive from central command -- reinforcements putting them up to 8,000 total troops plus a considerable supply drop which, while it does not entirely recoup the heavy losses they've suffered over the last few months, definitely aids their rebuilding efforts. Large-scale repairs on the base begin with power-aided equipment, starting with the most critical infrastructure damage.
It isn't until a day or so after the bombing that Gail ghem-Estif was declared MIA and then, after a few reluctant witnesses stepped forward, about as confirmed dead as they were going to get. According to a couple of ensigns, he'd taken an aircar without authorization and headed, as far as they could tell, straight for the city in a fit of desperation. Given the timing, he wouldn't have made it back in time.
Pleased with his win and regaining the upper hand at last, Zahal now focuses his efforts at building up their armaments. They cannot allow such a vicious attack on their base again, after all, and so he increases the guard patrol presence on base by about 50%. The Barrayarans won't find it so easy to just slip right in this time.
With the city destroyed, Zahal's new goal is to smoke out the Barrayaran camp again -- they did it six months ago, he's sure they can do it again now. He knows by now that the Emperor and Crown Prince themselves are here, and if he can expose the guerrilla camp and capture them -- or better yet, simply drop an airstrike on them -- well, it'd certainly do a lot for the war effort, not to mention his career. This is, after all, an unprecedented opportunity to knock some major players out o f the war. And with no city to defend, he has more troops to dedicate to aerial surveillance and ground patrols -- although the guerrillas have gotten good at confusing the Cetagandans treading in still-unfamiliar territory.
base
Now that they have power and the proper resources, construction on the Star Gate officially begins. The Cetagandans have (reluctantly) signed off on the use of one ship to host the Star Gate, as well as downgrade another jump ship to local-only flight by removing and repurposing its Necklin rods to generate a Niadem field instead, as well as gutting its jump drive for auxiliary/backup use. Since the Star Gate is meant to be stationary, only built into a jump ship for convenience, part of the Star Gate construction involves disabling the flight mechanics of the ship. They unfortunately cannot remove or destroy them, as they have a vital connection with the jump drive, which is a critical component of the Star Gate. Micah and Symmetra are also secretly installing a failsafe intended to be triggered after everyone is sent home that will quite literally fry every bit of circuitry in the Star Gate.
With contact finally established with Micah, they work through the informants with Piotr to formulate a plan and spread the word. Between Kaidan, who has been acting as an informant for the Barrayarans, and Micah, the whole lab team should soon be aware of the plan to hijack the Star Gate, use it to send everyone home, and then ensure the Cetagandans will never be able to use it themselves. If they can detonate a nuclear bomb inside the wormhole, it should cut off all access to the wormhole completely, at least for a time. Right now Micah is asking that Deanna, Kaidan and Symmetra share the plan with those they believe they can trust enough to cooperate and not rat them out to the Cetagandans; they'd like to see everyone get home, and the more people they have on the same page, the better their odds of success. Vex'ahlia, the other remaining informant handled by Lakshmi, provides the other point of contact to try and bring the other exotics into the fold. Lapis has also been in direct contact with Sonia in order to spread the word. Whenever Micah discusses the ongoing plans to hijack the Star Gate, they always refer to it as the midnight shift. It's not the most opaque code word, but it's better than none.
Micah's plan, as they propose it to Piotr, is that they run a cross-faction operation to hijack the Star Gate ship and fly it off planet. They believe they have a greater chance of success closer to the collapsed wormhole, given that the Niadem field is strongest there. It will require a lot of coordination and extreme care to keep the Cetagandans from finding out, but Micah believes they can get everyone on board the Star Gate ship and re-engage the flight mechanics quickly enough to take off. Of course, they'll need a diversion, possibly even covering fire -- and a way to keep the Cetagandans from following them or shooting them out of the sky. They'll also need a pilot…but Micah has the feeling they might be the only one even remotely qualified for that job.
missions
The recon missions go well -- not only do their security assessments yield some juicy intel, they also uncover the Cetagandans' supply of nuclear weapons and they come up with a couple of different plans to sabotage the Cetagandans' remaining operational ships. Plus, more eavesdropping!
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
A (and then B, then C...)
Is it deep?
[ He stops in front of her and kneels, holding out his hand for hers. It's then he sees she's shaking. ]
...here.
no subject
[ A blatant lie but the words come out automatically, a reflex she can't even begin to control. She's always supposed to be fine, there's no time to be broken when people count on her. No amount of insisting she's fine will make her hand stop bleeding, though. The fact that her hand still won't stop shaking even when she tries just hammers in that feeling that she doesn't have any control. ]
It's... it's not that deep. My hand just slipped a little, I'll liv-
[ She chokes on the words as she realizes what she just said. I'll live. Unlike Maine. Unlike every single member of her team because she was too blind to see what was really happening. It all hits her again and there's no way to keep the gut punched look off her face or ignore the sudden thought in her head that she misses Church like a missing limb. ]
no subject
She was never one to show any weakness, any hurt, any sign that she wasn't at the top of her game. But York always saw right through that. He knows her too well, even now, even as changed as she is by time and people he's never met. She's still Carolina. Still the woman he loves more than anything, so much it hurts. And seeing her actually falter... ]
You will. We will.
no subject
It takes a moment to be able to talk again, to gather herself up enough to try and hammer some of the tremble from her voice. ]
He won't. It was supposed to be different, we were going to... [ We were supposed to save him. Both of you. It feels so fucking arrogant now. ] I can't keep doing this. Not again.
no subject
[ And he knows that he's a living breathing trigger to both of them right now, but that doesn't mean he's going to leave either of them alone. He holds her gaze a moment longer, then glances down at her hand again, reeling his own back in and unrolling some of the wrap to start bandaging it. The fabric is rough against her wound but they're out of real bandages in the med tent and at least it's clean. He'll have Ratchet look it over tomorrow just in case. ]
There are factors other than you two. And you couldn't be with us all the time. [ He wraps the cloth around her palm securely, tears the end into two long strips to tie it off. Then he's taking it in both of his, holding on in a way that probably hurts a little but is enough to make her feel alive. ]
This isn't your fault.
no subject
Maybe not this time. [ The first time, the silent death that none of them had noticed had been all her fault. Giving him Sigma was supposed to be an act of altriusm, a way for Maine to talk to the world after the Insurrectionists ruined his throat. ]
I never thought anything could stop him, he always got back up.
no subject
We just have to get back up for him this time. Fight for what he was, see this through.
[ It's what Maine would have wanted. ]
no subject
She hasn't allowed herself to do this, kept herself away because there was that constant quiet voice warning her from hurting him again. Selfish. ]
I'm sorry. I... I won't stay like this long.
no subject
Long as you need.
no subject
When was the last time she hugged someone? When was the last time she allowed herself anything more than a hand on someone else's shoulder or just leaning against Wash?
She still doesn't let herself cry but Carolina slowly by fractions relaxes against York, not pulling away from the comfort he's offering. ]
no subject
Back up the slope, York. It's just a hug. Except it's not, not to him.
He holds on for what's probably far too long, but camp is quiet and he can hear her breathing, can feel it warm against his neck. Years of thinking he'd lost her, years where he could have, and being here where he still might... he doesn't want to let go. ]
Lina?
no subject
A not so little part of her regrets pulling away, the loss of his warmth. Greedy, too greedy. But it's hard to keep the regret from her expression, though it's mixed with an apologetic look. ]
Sorry. I... [ Why is it always so hard? (It's hard because you let him believe you were dead until he was. Stupid, stupid girl.) Carolina shakes her head, trying to pull up walls that are in pieces. Walls she doesn't really want to fix. ] Sorry.
no subject
[ His hand lingers in her hair as she pulls back. He shouldn't have said anything, ruined the moment and made her pull away but he was the one holding on for too long, too tight, the one who wanted too much of everything. Always wanting things she couldn't give. He lets out a shuddering sigh, reeling that hand back in too as much as he wants it to stay.
And this isn't the right time, but there's never going to be one. They've been in this holding pattern ever since he got back, and he isn't going to keep fighting this war without her knowing. This isn't fair. His voice gets even softer, just above a whisper. ] It's me. I still love you.
no subject
Why? [ A part of her knew. How could she not when he started three days at her bedside when she was comatose? ] All I ever did was push you away and lie. I... you don't even know my real name.
no subject
He's still puzzling over that as she continues, until-- ]
Wait, I don't..?
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[ Changing her name had been one of the most freeing things she'd ever done. No one asking if she was related to that Allison or that Dr. Church. Abigail Pierce didn't have a family, it made things easier than trying to explain how her estranged father could never look at her without seeing his dead wife. ]
My real name was Church, York.
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B
It does of course occur to him to follow, to finally find out which patrol Maine had been on when it happened and use that information and the skills he'd learned from the Barrayaran woodsmen to track Wash. He could. And he's thinking of doing it when he hears Carolina asking one of the others if they've seen Wash. Remembers the promise he made to be there for her.
He can't go. Not unless she does.
Weaving through the soldiers assembling for their morning rounds, he makes his way towards her and places a hand on her shoulder, his eyes dark and knowing. Just waiting to hear what she wants to do. ]
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Except now he's gone and it feels like a void is rising to swallow her up. Wash is her best friend, the one person besides Epsilon who knows her scars and can match them. The look in York's eyes says everything and the weight of knowing she has to make a call makes her shoulders slump. ]
...if we go after him, it'll give Vorvolk ammunition against all the outsiders. He'll say we're all unreliable and likely to desert.
[ And if Vorvolk burns all of them, they'll never get Tucker gone. They'll be stuck on a planet in another universe forever. ]
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He's a survivor, he'll be back. We just need to keep busy until then.
[ A pause, then, his gaze on the defeated slump to her shoulders and the grief in her eyes. He lowers his voice so that only she can hear, gentle but certain. ]
Tell me what you need.
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There's too much to be done. So when she answers, she keeps her voice solid and doesn't let even a tremble through. ]
My armor, a rifle and Church to run my enhancements would be nice. But barring that... I need a way to make sure Wash doesn't get whatever the Barrayaran equivalent of a court martial is.
[ She'll pay for this later when it all rises to the surface again but for now she's willing to borrow the trouble as long as it means she can keep going a bit longer. ]
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Their tags will probably be enough, but we can head it off. Do you want me to handle it?
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[ It's so much easier to act like this is an operation gone wrong, something she can fix. She takes a deep breath and tries to settle her thoughts. Wash will come back, she can't entertain scenarios where he doesn't. If Wash doesn't come back she knows she'll break no matter how hard York tries to keep her together. ]
If Piotr seems like he needs something extra... tell him when all of this is over we'll give him first access to our neural implants. We're from another universe, I doubt they'll find tech like it.
[ The thought of letting someone like around her implants makes her sick but it's a bargaining chip. And if it's to protect her family she'll do it without any hesitation. ]
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Okay. I'll be back.
[ As he passes her to go to Piotr's tent he squeezes her elbow gently, a gesture that anyone who sees it will just think it's him brushing by casually. ]
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York, thanks.
C
Hey. Need that straightened out?