[ Hers had been forced from her in the worst possible way. Her words to Byerly were true, she had rather she had been tortured. Why she thought to give herself up at all, over Maine, because she knew, there was nothing a mortal man could do to her that had not happened a hundred times. Over, and over again. What was the worst anyone could do to her anymore?
She had not expected that answer. Bitter, yes, because she guarded these things close not just for secrecies sake, but to bury the parts of her that had grown up in a time and place that no longer existed. A home burned to the ground. A life and a woman, that had died along with it to leave this behind.
They had dragged it all up, all of it. Zahal, Cetaganda as a whole. Worse, than she could barely control herself through it. Her control that was everything to her. They had taken all of it, held it up, disregarded it like it was just dressings for their party. How sickening such a thing was. Left her there afterwards like an animal curled around wounds, backed into a corner and stripped down to the barest parts of herself.
But more than anything, it would be wrong for someone that she was set so again - to have the truth and not those that had come to save her. Who saw to her. Who were kind to her, despite keeping so much to herself. She must tell something, it was the only way to make it feel right. ]
I put my trust in you, and you did not fail me. It is a small thing to give back.
[ All of her thanks was a paltry thing to say, really, but it was true. ]
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She had not expected that answer. Bitter, yes, because she guarded these things close not just for secrecies sake, but to bury the parts of her that had grown up in a time and place that no longer existed. A home burned to the ground. A life and a woman, that had died along with it to leave this behind.
They had dragged it all up, all of it. Zahal, Cetaganda as a whole. Worse, than she could barely control herself through it. Her control that was everything to her. They had taken all of it, held it up, disregarded it like it was just dressings for their party. How sickening such a thing was. Left her there afterwards like an animal curled around wounds, backed into a corner and stripped down to the barest parts of herself.
But more than anything, it would be wrong for someone that she was set so again - to have the truth and not those that had come to save her. Who saw to her. Who were kind to her, despite keeping so much to herself. She must tell something, it was the only way to make it feel right. ]
I put my trust in you, and you did not fail me. It is a small thing to give back.
[ All of her thanks was a paltry thing to say, really, but it was true. ]