She's struggling not to fall into despair, to keep herself from sinking deep into it, and maybe she's overreacting, but she has no control over this feeling. It attacks her where she has no defense. But Miles -- Miles is providing temporary safety, sanctuary, as best as he can. She knows he's doing the best he can. She wishes she could try a little harder.

"Miles, if he comes back," she says, voice muffled and miserable, "Count Piotr will just have him killed."