[ He stays as still as he can for as long as he can when she cuts off his breathing. His heartbeat seems to grow louder and louder in his ears, until it's all he can hear - his heartbeat, and a growing rush of sound. The world starts to mist and sparkle at the edges as his automatic panic reflexes kick in and he fights to control them. Slowly, involuntarily, the trembling of his hands and lips turns into twitching, and his feet start to kick; for the first time, he breaks eye contact as his eyes roll back a little in his head. His jaw falls open, slackening, his mouth gaping for the breaths that do not and cannot come. He arches. He's dizzy and blessedly blissfully absent - there's no worry, no fear, no unhappiness. All the guilt of his betrayal, the terror at his position - it washes away. There's nothing but her soft strong hands at his throat and the sublime burning in his chest and the rabbity twitching of his feet...
But even gone he cannot be fully gone. There's always the awareness of his vulnerabilities and responsibilities. As much as he wants her to go on until he loses consciousness, he can't...His hand comes up, unsteadily, shakily. As his vision grays, he grabs her arm and squeezes. ]
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But even gone he cannot be fully gone. There's always the awareness of his vulnerabilities and responsibilities. As much as he wants her to go on until he loses consciousness, he can't...His hand comes up, unsteadily, shakily. As his vision grays, he grabs her arm and squeezes. ]