[She honestly hardly registers that he's moving until he's in close, and when his hands touch against her arms, she doesn't pull away, or tense against the touch. If anything she leans into it, just a little, as he shakes her a little like he can drag her back to the ground, like he can anchor her, remind her to breathe.
He says her name, and it pulls her head up, blue eyes tilting so that her gaze meets his. It is her real name, if not the full form of it; but she'd only given that to Lakshmi and Byerly, people that might understand the nuance. It's real enough, especially with the weight of his voice, and there's always been something about the weight of words for her.]
I'm not leaving her there.
[Her voice is softer, not entirely an argument, but she's aware that coordinating that kind of effort takes time. They'd talked rather coyly not so very long ago about the fact that Wash was aware that she could tend to go off-mission, and the truth is he hadn't been wrong. The truth is that if it was anyone other than him, she's not sure that she'd have even bothered keeping their meeting before doing something reckless. Guilt and a tendency toward self-sacrifice made quite a precipice. She just wanted to get Sonia out of there.
Fuck however many people she had to stab to do it. And if one of them was Tarn? All the better. Anger was easier, but the guilt ran deeper.]
It is my fault. [Her voice a little more firm, her lips pressing thin, leaning in as his hands squeeze at her arms before he steps back, and she watches him.] This is supposed to be what I'm good for, and I couldn't even-- [She lets her words cut off, a sigh as she forces herself to focus on that demand. This hits her from every angle, and it's easier to just follow his direction.]
Physically, it doesn't seem like they've hurt her since they captured her. But she's miserable and she's scared and she's trying to act like she isn't.
no subject
He says her name, and it pulls her head up, blue eyes tilting so that her gaze meets his. It is her real name, if not the full form of it; but she'd only given that to Lakshmi and Byerly, people that might understand the nuance. It's real enough, especially with the weight of his voice, and there's always been something about the weight of words for her.]
I'm not leaving her there.
[Her voice is softer, not entirely an argument, but she's aware that coordinating that kind of effort takes time. They'd talked rather coyly not so very long ago about the fact that Wash was aware that she could tend to go off-mission, and the truth is he hadn't been wrong. The truth is that if it was anyone other than him, she's not sure that she'd have even bothered keeping their meeting before doing something reckless. Guilt and a tendency toward self-sacrifice made quite a precipice. She just wanted to get Sonia out of there.
Fuck however many people she had to stab to do it. And if one of them was Tarn? All the better. Anger was easier, but the guilt ran deeper.]
It is my fault. [Her voice a little more firm, her lips pressing thin, leaning in as his hands squeeze at her arms before he steps back, and she watches him.] This is supposed to be what I'm good for, and I couldn't even-- [She lets her words cut off, a sigh as she forces herself to focus on that demand. This hits her from every angle, and it's easier to just follow his direction.]
Physically, it doesn't seem like they've hurt her since they captured her. But she's miserable and she's scared and she's trying to act like she isn't.