[She matches his sad smile with one of her own, a flicker of something a little resigned that isn't quite humor.] I haven't talked to her too much, but she seems like the sort to attract those sorts of feelings. [She pauses and there's a frown, a low sigh as she shakes her head.] Which could be a problem, honestly. They still haven't fast-pentaed her yet, and I don't believe it's out of kindness.
[She's been trying to keep that in mind when she talks to Sonia. It's harder than she can admit to. Not just telling her I'm sorry, I'm on your side. There's a flutter of warmth at the idea of Wash trying to keep them safe, though the mention of Vorrutyer has her dragging fingers through her red hair with a low sigh and a faint shake of her head.]
I'll try and keep Byerly safe. [She doesn't say that Sonia's more important than either of them, that spies are tools. But the truth is also that she cares about Byerly more than she should, more than she even wants to, and it touches her voice just a little. But that's another subject all together, and it's actually almost easier to tell him why this hits her so hard than to think about that point longer than she has to.]
It's complicated. There are a lot of reasons. [She trails off for a breath, trying to decide where to start. The beginning seems like the best, maybe the safest. It's something she'd referenced with him before.]
I mentioned that girls from orphanages were moved to the program I was involved with, random selections pulled to fit general parameters. All of them, except for me. [A faint shrug of her shoulders, she hasn't told her heritage to anyone except Lakshmi, Lakshmi who had known her name, known what it meant. She'd told Byerly Tsarina without explaining the reason why.]
The Romanovs were the Imperial family of Russia. But they were deposed-- murdered by the Bolshevik revolutionaries before I was born. They tried to wipe out the bloodline, any direct descendants. And they almost succeeded. So when I was placed into an orphanage, they took me for the program because of my name. Because I would have been Velikaia Knazhna Natalia Alianovna Romanova, grand-daughter of Nikolai II, last Emperor of Russia.
[There's a smile, but it's thin and hard, blue eyes glinting by dim light. He might pick up that the way she says her name like that is awkward on her tongue, almost a little shy. It's not one she's ever really admitted to, or claimed for herself, but he wanted to know why she had so much trouble with a princess kidnapped because of what she meant to other people, and it seemed the easiest place to start. Easier than dead little girls, although she thinks Wash might be the only person that would understand.]
no subject
[She's been trying to keep that in mind when she talks to Sonia. It's harder than she can admit to. Not just telling her I'm sorry, I'm on your side. There's a flutter of warmth at the idea of Wash trying to keep them safe, though the mention of Vorrutyer has her dragging fingers through her red hair with a low sigh and a faint shake of her head.]
I'll try and keep Byerly safe. [She doesn't say that Sonia's more important than either of them, that spies are tools. But the truth is also that she cares about Byerly more than she should, more than she even wants to, and it touches her voice just a little. But that's another subject all together, and it's actually almost easier to tell him why this hits her so hard than to think about that point longer than she has to.]
It's complicated. There are a lot of reasons. [She trails off for a breath, trying to decide where to start. The beginning seems like the best, maybe the safest. It's something she'd referenced with him before.]
I mentioned that girls from orphanages were moved to the program I was involved with, random selections pulled to fit general parameters. All of them, except for me. [A faint shrug of her shoulders, she hasn't told her heritage to anyone except Lakshmi, Lakshmi who had known her name, known what it meant. She'd told Byerly Tsarina without explaining the reason why.]
The Romanovs were the Imperial family of Russia. But they were deposed-- murdered by the Bolshevik revolutionaries before I was born. They tried to wipe out the bloodline, any direct descendants. And they almost succeeded. So when I was placed into an orphanage, they took me for the program because of my name. Because I would have been Velikaia Knazhna Natalia Alianovna Romanova, grand-daughter of Nikolai II, last Emperor of Russia.
[There's a smile, but it's thin and hard, blue eyes glinting by dim light. He might pick up that the way she says her name like that is awkward on her tongue, almost a little shy. It's not one she's ever really admitted to, or claimed for herself, but he wanted to know why she had so much trouble with a princess kidnapped because of what she meant to other people, and it seemed the easiest place to start. Easier than dead little girls, although she thinks Wash might be the only person that would understand.]