[ Probably. It's difficult to even talk around, let alone talk about, and years later Wash still hasn't really figured out how to deal with having remembering a life he hasn't lived, feeling the crushing loss of a loved one that he's never even met. Let alone how Freelancer decided to use those memories.

A slight shake of his head. Quiet, for a while, his fingers twitching slightly. Not quite shaking, at least. Maybe another time, Miles, maybe. But not now. ] I won't be able to answer you, if you do.

But that's what I remember. Not every night, but most. [ A breath. ] What it feels like, to need to tear yourself apart.

[ And then what it feels like to actually do it. Except Alpha forgot, and Epsilon shattered itself, and Wash, well. Wash survives, and remembers. ]