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forbarrayar2017-04-02 02:25 pm
barrayarmods) wrote in forbarrayar2017-04-02 02:25 pm
[ april i log: if home is where the heart is ]
Who: Everyone
What: The sun finally comes out in proper spring, the labs are full of excitement, and Piotr prepares for real war. Your princess is in another castle.
When: April 1st - 18th
Where: the Barrayaran camp, the Cetagandan base, Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD
Quick links:
Riverfall
Barrayar: Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Base / Missions
TIMELINE
4/5 Eavesdropping Eta
4/6 Eavesdropping Sigma
4/8 Eavesdropping Mu
4/10 Mystery Plot
4/11 - 4/12 Resources: Weapons & Equipment
riverfall
The locals are celebrating the much-welcome coming of spring, and it is a warm one. Pleasant mountain breezes carry the far-off scent of the ocean, and bit by bit, the Barrayaran flora is beginning to bloom. Wildflowers spring up all over, adding a lively splash of color to the camp and village on the backdrop of Barrayar's rust-red native flora.
While the villagers aren't exactly hosting a festival, the entire village is pitching in to sow the spring crops, delayed by the cold freeze. But they lost a quarter of their population to the flu, and they're short on hands. So Barrayarans and outsiders alike come to the village to help, the villagers welcoming them into their homes for the night, as it's a half a day's hike between the camp and the village. While it isn't quite summer yet, the village children are already starting to splash around near the waterfall, inviting others by way of playfully splashing water on them as they pass by.
After the battle, however, the mood in the village turns to ash. With another dozen dead to bury, they've lost almost half their population in the last few months, only 48 of them left, and some of their homes were damaged or destroyed by plasma fire during the fight. Mercifully, their fields were untouched, but the village is littered with bodies, the site of a massacre. Barrayaran soldiers carry off their own dead as well as the Cetagandans, while the villagers burn death offerings beyond the fields.
barrayar
Morale is finally on the rise with the brightening weather, especially with their food stores replenished and the full recovery of the flu in the camp. Their numbers are down, but the Cetagandans' are even worse, and the tactical situation has changed. With half the Cetagandans' force either dead or out of commission, a window of opportunity presents itself. Piotr decides that need to recapture Vorkosigan Vashnoi -- if the city weren't occupied, then Micah's kidnapping by the Cetagandans could have been prevented. The base is an easy target right now with its defenses down -- until reinforcements arrive -- and the reconnaissance they'd done on the base's power generators a few months ago will finally be put to use. They may have a chance at using this to drive the occupying forces out of the city, too.
But they don't have a chance of successfully taking hold of the city without the rest of Piotr's army. About a month before the first outsiders arrived, the location of Piotr's previous camp was discovered by the Cetagandans, and the army split in two to return to fallback locations. The plan was always to rendezvous as soon as possible and reunite the army, and they need to rejoin forces now more than ever. Scouts are sent off into the mountains, looking to make contact with their comrades, and they're in luck -- the other half of Piotr's army, currently led by Major Rifkin, one of his missing general staff.
The last few months haven't been kind to the Barrayarans' supply of weapons and equipment. There's no way they could launch a successful assault on the base with their meager supplies, so Piotr sends several parties to make contact with the underground civilian resistance in Vorkosigan Vashnoi and stock up, then smuggle the weapons out of the city.
They're also low on weapons and equipment, which means Piotr is sending several parties back to Vorkosigan Vashnoi to stock up. Piotr and Ezar have contacts in the city, valuable allies who are part of the underground civilian resistance. They can provide the goods -- but one of the teams will be responsible for making sure the weapons are smuggled safely out of the city with the assistance of other members of the civilian resistance.
With Micah in Cetagandan hands, they are no doubt making progress on the Star Gate Project. Piotr, however, is convinced of Micah's sympathies, and their work could still be to their benefit -- or at least, to the outsiders'. And if nothing else, Micah would be the ideal candidate for sabotage should it come down to it. But for now, Piotr is interested in keeping Micah alive. Micah is a personal friend of Prince Xav's as well as a sympathizer, and their care was entrusted to Piotr, a matter of honor. So for now, his orders to his informants are merely to keep a close eye on Micah and their activities, even befriend them, but not to let slip their true sympathies to Barrayar. And now, with Sonia held captive, Piotr wants more than ever to make new informant contacts on the Cetagandans.
camp
Morale is on the rise, steady and surely. People are feeling good, enjoying the sun and warmth, a relief and a blessing after the weeks of cold and near-starvation. And so the soldiers do what Barrayarans always do when they're in good spirits: they drink. Evenings spent around bonfires playing cards or chest, drinking wine and mead, and they're a lot friendlier to the outsiders these days. Even the new ones have proven themselves with all the aid they gave during the epidemic, so if you're invited over for a drink and a game with the soldiers, don't be too surprised.
Of course, sometimes get taken a little too far, and some soldiers start up some drunken swordfight contests, which probably seemed like a great idea at the time. But you know what they say: it's all fun and games until somebody accidentally gets stabbed in the side. Piotr quickly shuts this down, and anyone involved, outsiders included, is likely to receive punishment, probably in the form of manual labor despite any hangover. The camp is down by over thirty men after last month, but on the (slightly morbid) bright side, at least this means that the outsiders finally get two tents to themselves, which is good considering the warming weather.
After the Princess's capture, however, the mood starts to shift back downhill. They're still not remotely ready to launch their attack on the Cetagandan base, let alone rescue Sonia. Both Piotr and Olivia are in vicious spirits; if you thought Piotr's previous demeanor was dour, he was a ray of frigging sunshine in comparison to now. Now he's furious, frustrated, and he has even less patience for time-wasting bullshit than usual.
missions
Overall, the outsiders' contributions to the spring planting on the village farm is helpful and greatly appreciated: they're able to fully sow their fields, and with the weather, they're hoping for a good summer harvest. However, no one should let Carolina around farming equipment ever again.
Hunting parties were sent out to stock up on food stores, with overall success. Some of the outsiders are proving themselves to be pretty competent hunters, much to the Barrayarans' appreciation.
Scouts were sent out to comb through the Dendarii Mountains for the other half of the army. With some help from the outsiders, William and Wash in particular, they're able to make contact with the other half of Piotr's army to coordinate and reunite their efforts.
Several parties were sent into Vorkosigan Vashnoi to make contact with the underground civilian resistance, which has a strong presence there, and smuggle weapons out of the city. There's a dangerous chase by Cetagandan patrols, but ultimately they're able to make it out of the city safetly and successfully return with the goods.
On the 10th, a Cetagandan patrol unexpectedly shows up in Riverfall when Sonia, Gavalas, and several others are there. A fight breaks out across the whole village, resulting in more than 30 casualties, including two Vorkosigan armsmen, and the Cetagandans successfully capture Sonia back to their base.
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
cetaganda
Zahal is furious at Piotr's successful biowarfare attack on his base, however accidental. It's devastated his ranks, and while they still outnumber the Barrayarans about forty to one, it's still a serious blow. The ghem-General decides that they need to force a forfeit, and they'll have to do it as quickly as possible, before Vorkosigan can strike them while they're down. The Cetagandan patrols double down and start swarming the mountains in search of the guerrilla camp.
The Star Gate Project is well underway with Micah on board, who is cooperating for the time being, though not happily. Most of their waking hours seem to be spent in the lab, though they're around the mess at mealtimes. They are certainly interested in the work -- it's totally unprecedented -- but their true sympathies lie with Barrayar, and they are entirely uncomfortable working for the Cetagandans. They're currently focusing their research efforts on possible power supplies and solving the problem of what, exactly, is getting people from the wormhole to the planet surface. To speed things along in the lab, the Cetagandans are asking for more help with their research -- anyone with any relevant knowledge is highly encouraged to step forward. And any informants for the Barrayarans are being instructed to keep an eye on Micah, too, as well as their progress on the project.
The Handmaiden of the Star Crèche is seen about the base, for certain definitions of seen -- she travels exclusive in an opaque luminescent force bubble, often escorted by one or two of her ba servitors. At the beginning of the month, Haut Sei announces the gene therapy trials they're conducting: if you're one of the exotics who lost genetically inherited powers, or were made human from some other type of being entirely, you are invited to participate in a new, experimental kind of gene therapy. Why participate? Well, they're aiming to restore any lost powers you might have had, although there's no guarantee of success, and such an experimental treatment does, of course, come with risks. But what's a little reward without risk?
base
The base feels unusually dreary in the wake of the epidemic, and with thousands of dead, it's impossible to have a service funeral for each of them individually. And so dozens of collective funerals are held, each of them solemn and steeped in ornate ceremony. The Cetagandans take their dead as seriously as anybody, and no nonsense will be permitted during the funerals. The base is only operating at half capacity, with only about 5,000 soldiers ready for active duty. Zahal has put in a request for reinforcements from Vorbarr Sultana, but that request has yet to be answered.
Haut Sei officially assumes her authority on base as Handmaiden of the Star Crèche, although Diya is, in name, still the head of the genetics project. Sei's ba entourage is most often seen in her company, but occasionally Ba Talim, one of her most faithful, may be seen on its own around the base, possibly on errand for its lady.
Diya is somewhat more present around the base now that the plague is over, but she still most frequently found in the labs or the gardens, and often in the company of Haut Sei, always in her force bubble, making Diya look strangely naked in comparison. The ghem around the base who have recovered are marking earnest attempts at brightening the morbid atmosphere that's settled over the base by decorating the barracks areas with fresh art -- literally freshly engineerd botanical creations, or sometimes hybrid biological-zoological creations…ah, Cetagandan art.
Princess Sonia is taken into custody on the 10th and housed in a cell. The Cetagandans offer her relative freedom to move about the base if she'll only give them her parole; she stubbornly and furiously refuses for the first several days, but the misery of being stuck in a cell by herself gets to her and she reluctantly agrees. Micah, the Cetagandans' other captive, though less strictly guarded, can most often be found in the labs and the mess. Although they're getting to know some of theexotics extrauniversals, they're still ill at ease here and not thrilled to be here. It isn't entirely clear, though, whether Micah's long hours in the labs are by their choice or at the Cetagandans' behest.
missions
The mess is shorthanded, and the exotics' help is much appreciated. A few of them even manage to impress the Cetagandan mess officer a little, who clearly takes the craft very seriously. (They all do.) A few of you, though…you can stick to dishwashing duty, thanks.
As is now established tradition among the exotics (because anything done twice on Barrayar is tradition, and they have done this way more than twice), several people go eavesdropping. On the 5th, Kurt and Pearl overhear Zahal receiving an Imperial writ to turn the entire Star Gate Project over to the Star Crèche. On the 6th, Jasper and Symmetra are caught listening in on a very personal conversation between Diya and Sei, and Diya's overambitious hopes for herself. On the 8th, Byerly and Lapis eavesdrop on a curious conversation between Ba Talim and Diya, hinting that the decision to cull Diya may have been somewhat personal after all.
In the labs, things go more or less alright, although things keep breaking or exploding. A plasma power pack explodes in the lab with Jasper and Whirl (which may or may not be Whirl's fault), though Jasper saves Micah from serious injury. In another stroke of spectacularly bad luck, one of the Necklin rods they've been using for testing falls and crashes down into one of the lab areas, and it's thanks to Natasha that Micah sustains anything more than minor injury.
On the 10th, a Cetagandan patrol unexpectedly shows up in Riverfall when Sonia, Gavalas, and several others are there. A fight breaks out across the whole village, resulting in more than 30 casualties, including two Vorkosigan armsmen, and the Cetagandans successfully capture Sonia back to their base.
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
Note: Negri, Diya and Gail are available for threading by request. Please hit up Madi (Negri & Diya) or Ammay (Gail) if you'd like some CR with the ghem-Lieutenant!
What: The sun finally comes out in proper spring, the labs are full of excitement, and Piotr prepares for real war. Your princess is in another castle.
When: April 1st - 18th
Where: the Barrayaran camp, the Cetagandan base, Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD
Riverfall
Barrayar: Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Base / Missions
TIMELINE
4/5 Eavesdropping Eta
4/6 Eavesdropping Sigma
4/8 Eavesdropping Mu
4/10 Mystery Plot
4/11 - 4/12 Resources: Weapons & Equipment
riverfall
The locals are celebrating the much-welcome coming of spring, and it is a warm one. Pleasant mountain breezes carry the far-off scent of the ocean, and bit by bit, the Barrayaran flora is beginning to bloom. Wildflowers spring up all over, adding a lively splash of color to the camp and village on the backdrop of Barrayar's rust-red native flora.
While the villagers aren't exactly hosting a festival, the entire village is pitching in to sow the spring crops, delayed by the cold freeze. But they lost a quarter of their population to the flu, and they're short on hands. So Barrayarans and outsiders alike come to the village to help, the villagers welcoming them into their homes for the night, as it's a half a day's hike between the camp and the village. While it isn't quite summer yet, the village children are already starting to splash around near the waterfall, inviting others by way of playfully splashing water on them as they pass by.
After the battle, however, the mood in the village turns to ash. With another dozen dead to bury, they've lost almost half their population in the last few months, only 48 of them left, and some of their homes were damaged or destroyed by plasma fire during the fight. Mercifully, their fields were untouched, but the village is littered with bodies, the site of a massacre. Barrayaran soldiers carry off their own dead as well as the Cetagandans, while the villagers burn death offerings beyond the fields.
barrayar
Morale is finally on the rise with the brightening weather, especially with their food stores replenished and the full recovery of the flu in the camp. Their numbers are down, but the Cetagandans' are even worse, and the tactical situation has changed. With half the Cetagandans' force either dead or out of commission, a window of opportunity presents itself. Piotr decides that need to recapture Vorkosigan Vashnoi -- if the city weren't occupied, then Micah's kidnapping by the Cetagandans could have been prevented. The base is an easy target right now with its defenses down -- until reinforcements arrive -- and the reconnaissance they'd done on the base's power generators a few months ago will finally be put to use. They may have a chance at using this to drive the occupying forces out of the city, too.
But they don't have a chance of successfully taking hold of the city without the rest of Piotr's army. About a month before the first outsiders arrived, the location of Piotr's previous camp was discovered by the Cetagandans, and the army split in two to return to fallback locations. The plan was always to rendezvous as soon as possible and reunite the army, and they need to rejoin forces now more than ever. Scouts are sent off into the mountains, looking to make contact with their comrades, and they're in luck -- the other half of Piotr's army, currently led by Major Rifkin, one of his missing general staff.
The last few months haven't been kind to the Barrayarans' supply of weapons and equipment. There's no way they could launch a successful assault on the base with their meager supplies, so Piotr sends several parties to make contact with the underground civilian resistance in Vorkosigan Vashnoi and stock up, then smuggle the weapons out of the city.
They're also low on weapons and equipment, which means Piotr is sending several parties back to Vorkosigan Vashnoi to stock up. Piotr and Ezar have contacts in the city, valuable allies who are part of the underground civilian resistance. They can provide the goods -- but one of the teams will be responsible for making sure the weapons are smuggled safely out of the city with the assistance of other members of the civilian resistance.
With Micah in Cetagandan hands, they are no doubt making progress on the Star Gate Project. Piotr, however, is convinced of Micah's sympathies, and their work could still be to their benefit -- or at least, to the outsiders'. And if nothing else, Micah would be the ideal candidate for sabotage should it come down to it. But for now, Piotr is interested in keeping Micah alive. Micah is a personal friend of Prince Xav's as well as a sympathizer, and their care was entrusted to Piotr, a matter of honor. So for now, his orders to his informants are merely to keep a close eye on Micah and their activities, even befriend them, but not to let slip their true sympathies to Barrayar. And now, with Sonia held captive, Piotr wants more than ever to make new informant contacts on the Cetagandans.
camp
Morale is on the rise, steady and surely. People are feeling good, enjoying the sun and warmth, a relief and a blessing after the weeks of cold and near-starvation. And so the soldiers do what Barrayarans always do when they're in good spirits: they drink. Evenings spent around bonfires playing cards or chest, drinking wine and mead, and they're a lot friendlier to the outsiders these days. Even the new ones have proven themselves with all the aid they gave during the epidemic, so if you're invited over for a drink and a game with the soldiers, don't be too surprised.
Of course, sometimes get taken a little too far, and some soldiers start up some drunken swordfight contests, which probably seemed like a great idea at the time. But you know what they say: it's all fun and games until somebody accidentally gets stabbed in the side. Piotr quickly shuts this down, and anyone involved, outsiders included, is likely to receive punishment, probably in the form of manual labor despite any hangover. The camp is down by over thirty men after last month, but on the (slightly morbid) bright side, at least this means that the outsiders finally get two tents to themselves, which is good considering the warming weather.
After the Princess's capture, however, the mood starts to shift back downhill. They're still not remotely ready to launch their attack on the Cetagandan base, let alone rescue Sonia. Both Piotr and Olivia are in vicious spirits; if you thought Piotr's previous demeanor was dour, he was a ray of frigging sunshine in comparison to now. Now he's furious, frustrated, and he has even less patience for time-wasting bullshit than usual.
missions
Overall, the outsiders' contributions to the spring planting on the village farm is helpful and greatly appreciated: they're able to fully sow their fields, and with the weather, they're hoping for a good summer harvest. However, no one should let Carolina around farming equipment ever again.
Hunting parties were sent out to stock up on food stores, with overall success. Some of the outsiders are proving themselves to be pretty competent hunters, much to the Barrayarans' appreciation.
Scouts were sent out to comb through the Dendarii Mountains for the other half of the army. With some help from the outsiders, William and Wash in particular, they're able to make contact with the other half of Piotr's army to coordinate and reunite their efforts.
Several parties were sent into Vorkosigan Vashnoi to make contact with the underground civilian resistance, which has a strong presence there, and smuggle weapons out of the city. There's a dangerous chase by Cetagandan patrols, but ultimately they're able to make it out of the city safetly and successfully return with the goods.
On the 10th, a Cetagandan patrol unexpectedly shows up in Riverfall when Sonia, Gavalas, and several others are there. A fight breaks out across the whole village, resulting in more than 30 casualties, including two Vorkosigan armsmen, and the Cetagandans successfully capture Sonia back to their base.
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
cetaganda
Zahal is furious at Piotr's successful biowarfare attack on his base, however accidental. It's devastated his ranks, and while they still outnumber the Barrayarans about forty to one, it's still a serious blow. The ghem-General decides that they need to force a forfeit, and they'll have to do it as quickly as possible, before Vorkosigan can strike them while they're down. The Cetagandan patrols double down and start swarming the mountains in search of the guerrilla camp.
The Star Gate Project is well underway with Micah on board, who is cooperating for the time being, though not happily. Most of their waking hours seem to be spent in the lab, though they're around the mess at mealtimes. They are certainly interested in the work -- it's totally unprecedented -- but their true sympathies lie with Barrayar, and they are entirely uncomfortable working for the Cetagandans. They're currently focusing their research efforts on possible power supplies and solving the problem of what, exactly, is getting people from the wormhole to the planet surface. To speed things along in the lab, the Cetagandans are asking for more help with their research -- anyone with any relevant knowledge is highly encouraged to step forward. And any informants for the Barrayarans are being instructed to keep an eye on Micah, too, as well as their progress on the project.
The Handmaiden of the Star Crèche is seen about the base, for certain definitions of seen -- she travels exclusive in an opaque luminescent force bubble, often escorted by one or two of her ba servitors. At the beginning of the month, Haut Sei announces the gene therapy trials they're conducting: if you're one of the exotics who lost genetically inherited powers, or were made human from some other type of being entirely, you are invited to participate in a new, experimental kind of gene therapy. Why participate? Well, they're aiming to restore any lost powers you might have had, although there's no guarantee of success, and such an experimental treatment does, of course, come with risks. But what's a little reward without risk?
base
The base feels unusually dreary in the wake of the epidemic, and with thousands of dead, it's impossible to have a service funeral for each of them individually. And so dozens of collective funerals are held, each of them solemn and steeped in ornate ceremony. The Cetagandans take their dead as seriously as anybody, and no nonsense will be permitted during the funerals. The base is only operating at half capacity, with only about 5,000 soldiers ready for active duty. Zahal has put in a request for reinforcements from Vorbarr Sultana, but that request has yet to be answered.
Haut Sei officially assumes her authority on base as Handmaiden of the Star Crèche, although Diya is, in name, still the head of the genetics project. Sei's ba entourage is most often seen in her company, but occasionally Ba Talim, one of her most faithful, may be seen on its own around the base, possibly on errand for its lady.
Diya is somewhat more present around the base now that the plague is over, but she still most frequently found in the labs or the gardens, and often in the company of Haut Sei, always in her force bubble, making Diya look strangely naked in comparison. The ghem around the base who have recovered are marking earnest attempts at brightening the morbid atmosphere that's settled over the base by decorating the barracks areas with fresh art -- literally freshly engineerd botanical creations, or sometimes hybrid biological-zoological creations…ah, Cetagandan art.
Princess Sonia is taken into custody on the 10th and housed in a cell. The Cetagandans offer her relative freedom to move about the base if she'll only give them her parole; she stubbornly and furiously refuses for the first several days, but the misery of being stuck in a cell by herself gets to her and she reluctantly agrees. Micah, the Cetagandans' other captive, though less strictly guarded, can most often be found in the labs and the mess. Although they're getting to know some of the
missions
The mess is shorthanded, and the exotics' help is much appreciated. A few of them even manage to impress the Cetagandan mess officer a little, who clearly takes the craft very seriously. (They all do.) A few of you, though…you can stick to dishwashing duty, thanks.
As is now established tradition among the exotics (because anything done twice on Barrayar is tradition, and they have done this way more than twice), several people go eavesdropping. On the 5th, Kurt and Pearl overhear Zahal receiving an Imperial writ to turn the entire Star Gate Project over to the Star Crèche. On the 6th, Jasper and Symmetra are caught listening in on a very personal conversation between Diya and Sei, and Diya's overambitious hopes for herself. On the 8th, Byerly and Lapis eavesdrop on a curious conversation between Ba Talim and Diya, hinting that the decision to cull Diya may have been somewhat personal after all.
In the labs, things go more or less alright, although things keep breaking or exploding. A plasma power pack explodes in the lab with Jasper and Whirl (which may or may not be Whirl's fault), though Jasper saves Micah from serious injury. In another stroke of spectacularly bad luck, one of the Necklin rods they've been using for testing falls and crashes down into one of the lab areas, and it's thanks to Natasha that Micah sustains anything more than minor injury.
On the 10th, a Cetagandan patrol unexpectedly shows up in Riverfall when Sonia, Gavalas, and several others are there. A fight breaks out across the whole village, resulting in more than 30 casualties, including two Vorkosigan armsmen, and the Cetagandans successfully capture Sonia back to their base.
The unabridged mission results can be found here.
Note: Negri, Diya and Gail are available for threading by request. Please hit up Madi (Negri & Diya) or Ammay (Gail) if you'd like some CR with the ghem-Lieutenant!
no subject
He sees her fingers curling into fists at her sides, sees the way she shifts her weight, not quite pacing but agitated -- just like Wash, how he drums his fingers, finds things to do with his hands to occupy himself. And immediately, he's moving forward, closing the distance between them, lifting his hands to her arms, clasping them tightly. A friendly gesture, but firm. Shaking her ever so slightly, just to ground her, to bring her back. ]
Natasha. [ Her actual name, this time, or well, as much of an actual name as Wash knows -- he's pretty sure it isn't, but that doesn't matter. The weight behind it is the same. ] We're going to get her back. Not just you. Us.
Not just you and me, either. You've the weight of everyone who cares for her behind this, and there's a whole lot more than two.
[ In the back of his mind, he is thinking. She was there, wasn't she, she couldn't save her, couldn't stop it, but that's not all this is, it can't be -- and he arrives at it, suddenly. That day at in the training room. Moved, was what she'd said. Taken, was what his mind had supplied.
She was young. ]
It wasn't your fault. [ Softer, now, squeezing his hands over her arms. Dropping them, just to fall a step back, give her a little space, and the easiest thing he can offer is just a task to focus on. Something to distract herself from the hurricane of blame he knows she must be weathering, if she's anything like him, and god they're too alike. ] Tell me how she is.
no subject
He says her name, and it pulls her head up, blue eyes tilting so that her gaze meets his. It is her real name, if not the full form of it; but she'd only given that to Lakshmi and Byerly, people that might understand the nuance. It's real enough, especially with the weight of his voice, and there's always been something about the weight of words for her.]
I'm not leaving her there.
[Her voice is softer, not entirely an argument, but she's aware that coordinating that kind of effort takes time. They'd talked rather coyly not so very long ago about the fact that Wash was aware that she could tend to go off-mission, and the truth is he hadn't been wrong. The truth is that if it was anyone other than him, she's not sure that she'd have even bothered keeping their meeting before doing something reckless. Guilt and a tendency toward self-sacrifice made quite a precipice. She just wanted to get Sonia out of there.
Fuck however many people she had to stab to do it. And if one of them was Tarn? All the better. Anger was easier, but the guilt ran deeper.]
It is my fault. [Her voice a little more firm, her lips pressing thin, leaning in as his hands squeeze at her arms before he steps back, and she watches him.] This is supposed to be what I'm good for, and I couldn't even-- [She lets her words cut off, a sigh as she forces herself to focus on that demand. This hits her from every angle, and it's easier to just follow his direction.]
Physically, it doesn't seem like they've hurt her since they captured her. But she's miserable and she's scared and she's trying to act like she isn't.
no subject
But the focus is good for her. Good for them both. On task, then; ]
Good. [ A heavy breath. Wash has met with Byerly already, a hastily arranged meeting that he probably shouldn't have agreed to, but even with his prearranged meeting with Natasha he'd been desperate to hear news of her, trusted Byerly to be on their side ( more or less ) but was still wary of compromise, of an ambush. It's still meaningful to hear more confirmation. ] Of course she's shaken, she has to be. Being in the middle of a battle like that . . . She's stronger than she seems, though. I know she is.
My read of this is that the Cetagandans really don't have an intention to hurt her. [ He doesn't say it, but the question is implicit in his tone, tell me if I'm wrong. He's talked this through with multiple people, now, but he's still so worried, still so afraid. ] But if we make a wrong move -- they might. For her sake, we have to be careful. We have to plan this. Use the time we have.
[ More softly, then; ]
I'm not leaving her there either, Tashka. [ Does that work as a name? An instinctive shortening, he doesn't really notice when he says it. ] Believe me, I've been holding myself back even more than I've been holding back everyone else.
We'll get her out. We all will.
no subject
So far, they don't seem to, no. But that's because currently, they think they can leverage her against Piotr. But they lost a few thousand men thanks to the outbreak, which is being tied rather squarely to the bodyparts that turned up around base so I don't think they'll hesitate overmuch when it comes to Barrayarans at the moment. [The look she gives him isn't that he's wrong, per se, but that she isn't sure how long that state of affairs will last. She's quiet for a moment, considering.] If Piotr doesn't give in- which I doubt he will- they might feel compelled to make sure he understands the threat.
[She sighs, nods as he talks about being careful, having to plan things out. She looks up at him, like something about the way he calls her Tashka pulls her a bit out of that urge to plummet into doubt and guilt. A flicker of a sad sort of smile, a curve of her shoulders as her head tilts, looking up at him with a flicker of something warm in her eyes, taking a half-step closer.] If things look like they're less safe for her, I'm doing whatever it takes to get her out.
[She doesn't have to outright say that she'd throw herself to the wolves if it came down to getting Sonia out safe. It's there behind the words, that sort of desperation that she was sure seemed strange from the outside. Of course, actually meeting Sonia hadn't done anything to lessen the desire to keep her safe.]
I'll wait, do what I can. I just-- I can't, Wash. [Can't pretend this is okay. Her voice is soft and she looks at him, a slight shake of her head. This she feels in a way that makes her that much more raw, a livewire in the rain.]
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By chance or by design, the Cetagandans had found a weakness. A key one. They need people on the inside now more than ever, but he's never heard Natasha's voice waver like this, had never seen Byerly slip the way he did. Wash can trust Natasha with his life, has trusted her with his life, and in a way at least he'd trust Byerly with the same, too -- but he doesn't think he can trust them with their own. He doesn't think he can trust them with their own cover, doesn't think he can trust them to make the right decisions. Not around this, not around Sonia.
A deep breath. That's -- that's for the military man, in him, for the handler viewing the task, but right now Wash wants to be a friend, too, just from the look in Natasha's eyes, the way her voice is so soft. ]
Then she is, in some ways, a very fortunate princess. [ A sad smile, there. Not about her being fucking kidnapped, obviously, but just. ] There are a lot of people here who're willing to do anything it takes to see her to safety. You don't have to act alone, here, and I'd rather you didn't. It'd be nice if you made it out of this with out cover intact, but since that's starting to sound more and more like a high ask, I just want to keep you safe.
[ A slight, lopsided smile, just in good humor; ] You and Vorrutyer.
[ A pause there, then, the smile fading slightly. There's something else here. He knows there is, he's never seen Natasha nearly this shaken before, and he can make a few guesses ( she was moved ) but there might be something more. ]
Why can't you? [ Soft, light. He won't press too much if she doesn't want to answer, but. The gesture's there, at least. He'll hear her out if she wants it. ]
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[She's been trying to keep that in mind when she talks to Sonia. It's harder than she can admit to. Not just telling her I'm sorry, I'm on your side. There's a flutter of warmth at the idea of Wash trying to keep them safe, though the mention of Vorrutyer has her dragging fingers through her red hair with a low sigh and a faint shake of her head.]
I'll try and keep Byerly safe. [She doesn't say that Sonia's more important than either of them, that spies are tools. But the truth is also that she cares about Byerly more than she should, more than she even wants to, and it touches her voice just a little. But that's another subject all together, and it's actually almost easier to tell him why this hits her so hard than to think about that point longer than she has to.]
It's complicated. There are a lot of reasons. [She trails off for a breath, trying to decide where to start. The beginning seems like the best, maybe the safest. It's something she'd referenced with him before.]
I mentioned that girls from orphanages were moved to the program I was involved with, random selections pulled to fit general parameters. All of them, except for me. [A faint shrug of her shoulders, she hasn't told her heritage to anyone except Lakshmi, Lakshmi who had known her name, known what it meant. She'd told Byerly Tsarina without explaining the reason why.]
The Romanovs were the Imperial family of Russia. But they were deposed-- murdered by the Bolshevik revolutionaries before I was born. They tried to wipe out the bloodline, any direct descendants. And they almost succeeded. So when I was placed into an orphanage, they took me for the program because of my name. Because I would have been Velikaia Knazhna Natalia Alianovna Romanova, grand-daughter of Nikolai II, last Emperor of Russia.
[There's a smile, but it's thin and hard, blue eyes glinting by dim light. He might pick up that the way she says her name like that is awkward on her tongue, almost a little shy. It's not one she's ever really admitted to, or claimed for herself, but he wanted to know why she had so much trouble with a princess kidnapped because of what she meant to other people, and it seemed the easiest place to start. Easier than dead little girls, although she thinks Wash might be the only person that would understand.]
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There's a weight to her words that makes Wash stop, that makes him put it aside. He just focuses on listening to her, for now, nodding, his expression quiet. Girls from orphanages, and again, what she says is moved, and what Wash hears in his mind is taken. She keeps talking, and Wash listens, the name Bolshevik rings a bell but all this is history he was never taught, old Earth things, a time long before his own. What she says he commits to memory though, as readily as he memorizes everything else, following the words as she says them even when he isn't sure what they mean. Velikaia Knanhna Natalia Alianovna Romanova.
That's her name, he realizes. That's her real name. Close enough to what he knows but just far off enough, too, and from what she said earlier, the Romanovs being the Imperial family, he understands what that has to mean. And then she confirms it. Grand-daughter to the last Emperor of Russia. She's -- a princess. A Russian princess. Taken from the orphanage into which she was placed. And why she doesn't think she can leave Sonia alone clicks right into place. ]
-- Tashka. [ His voice is soft. Should he be calling her a princess, now? No, probably not, the same way he'd never called Sonia a princess. Belatedly he realizes he's been holding his breath most of that time, takes a moment to steady himself before he continues. ] Thank you for telling me that.
[ He means thanks because it was important for him to know, but also just -- he knows. He knows how hard it must be to talk about, to share. A pause, and softer still; ]
It might do you good to stay away from her.
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He thanks her, and there's a slow blink of her eyelashes, the way that her head tilts to the side, watching him. He knows, knows that it's hardly easy for her to give up pieces of herself. Even to him. But the truth is that out of anyone, he's the one that it's the easiest with. She'd never even told Clint, although back home it had been far less relevant, more personal. She sighs a little, looking up to meet his eyes for a moment, her expression almost irritated.]
I trust you.
[Her voice is quiet, low like it's a secret. But then she finds herself nodding even as she sighs, eyes closing for a moment, and her voice is a little more even.] I know, I know. I look at her and I half want to tell her I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. I know it's risky. But I'll be careful, I just.. I have to protect her.
[She's quiet a moment, a long moment, lips thinning, as she tries to weigh how much honesty she's willing to give him. She knows she's in over her head on this; Sonia hits too close and neither her or Byerly are clear-headed on it. And if it's Wash, the idea of someone that knows enough to remind her not to drown doesn't seem like the worst thing.
Maybe it's telling that she leads with a question, a slight catch to her voice. There's that strange weight to it, like that first conversation in the gym, bartering information about themselves. The fact is that there's only so much she can give away for free.]
Byerly, he said you killed one of your comrades. Is it true?
[Telling, perhaps is that there's no sense of judgement, nothing pointed to it aside from a need to verify that fact before she can tell him.]
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God, it might do them both good to stay away from her. He'd thought of it before when he spoke to Byerly, but Byerly has no reason to take his orders. He'll need to speak to Miles. He'll need to speak to him about the possibility of getting them both out of there. But god, they need the information now more than ever, don't they, but Wash wants them safe, both of them safe. People dying under his command is a fact of war, something that's damned well happened before, but that doesn't mean he's used to it, doesn't mean he's numb to it.
A breath, to clear his head, focus, focus, his thoughts racing and spinning but everything snaps into a moment of incredible clarity when Natasha keeps talking, when he hears the question. Killed one of his comrades. It is true. There was purpose behind it, he'd not done it without reason, he doesn't regret it and he'd do it again if he ever had to, but it's a weight on him even now. It doesn't matter how justified it was. In the end he'd still looked her right in the eye and didn't give her the time to so much as finish a sentence before he put a bullet straight through her skull.
He'd given Byerly that story. Proof of his loyalty, no, proof of his love, of how fiercely he cares for the people he calls his own, that even if Byerly will trust him with nothing else he can trust when he gives his word on that. He wouldn't keep it from Natasha, either, except for the part of him that knows that everything he shares with her he potentially shares with the enemy. So he just looks back at her, and he's thinking of that first conversation they had, too, the same weight to his tone. ]
She was a friend. [ So yes. It's true. And really, does it matter in the end if he gives her the story behind it? He'd still killed a friend. He'd still made sure no one would ever find her corpse. A pause, there, a tip of his head. She'd asked for a reason, he knows. ]
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But he gives her the affirmation she needed to give him a little bit more, something deeper than just a kidnapped princess. She bites her lip for a moment then smiles, but it's thin and almost humorless.]
The program, where I was raised.. it was intensely competitive, and I was so focused on being the best. They'd pair us up for missions, looking for weaknesses, for failures, and if you weren't good enough, sometimes you'd disappear. But we lived together, and they let us be friends. There were twenty-eight of us. Then one day, they dropped all of us in the tundra in the middle of winter, two weeks walk from home. One bag with enough supplies for one of us to survive.
[There's a pause, a breath, and she's not looking at him as she talks. Her arms cross against her body, low against her abdomen. There might have been enough reassurance for her to tell him, but the discomfort is still clear, the way her thin shoulders shiver.] I made it back. Sonia's probably only a few years older than my best friend was.
[There are more layers to it, things more personal, but it's enough. The basics. The fact was that this would always have hit her hard. Because of kidnapped princesses and dead little girls. Because she's still drowning in the guilt.]
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Wash closes his eyes briefly, doesn't quite suppress the shudder that runs through him, a deep breath, inhale, exhale, focus. He thinks of the Director, of Freelancer, of how fiercely he pit them against each other, how much he always wanted them to be at each other's throats . . . Natasha's own program was the same, it seems. The same, but a hell of a lot worse. He nods, just once, opens his eyes again and makes sure to meet her gaze, nodding again. Okay. He understands. It's okay.
Or well -- it's not okay. It's never okay, it's never going to be okay, Wash understands that, the weight of that guilt, even if the kind they carry is worlds apart. He still knows what it is to bear that weight, to know you'll never be free of it. It's there in his eyes, in his voice, when he answers her. ]
It was never your fault. [ Soft. Barely loud enough for her to hear, across the room -- and genuine, even when he knows she won't listen, or she'll hear it and tuck it away like he does when everyone tells him to forgive himself. He's learned to smile, to nod, to say of course, I'm working on it, of course. But he never will. And neither will she.
Another breath. ]
Sonia isn't being left there to fend for herself. She has more help on her side than she knows -- and more than she can be allowed to realize. I promise you, we're going to get her out there. [ Easier to focus on what to do. Something practical, something solid, something real. His voice starts to harden a little, something fiery in his eyes. ] We won't leave her there.
-- You have to promise me too, though. That you're going to be careful about this, not just for her sake, but for your own. If I'm going to pull rank on you for anything, Natashka, it'll be for this. Stay safe.
That's an order. [ A pause, and his shoulders drop, his eyes closing again briefly. ] I want all three of you safe.
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He opens his eyes and meets hers, and there's something in the look that makes it seem like he understands the weight of it. The guilt, the nightmares, a dozen different reasons she doesn't sleep well in barracks that remind her too clearly of little girls. She sighs a little at the words, and she's tempted to smile and nod, tell him that she knows, like she does with Clint. Instead, she just brushes fingers against the strands of her hair as she looks at him, a shake of her head.] I made a choice. I don't think I could have made a different one, but that doesn't make it any better.
[As much as she was willing to sacrifice herself for others, she was still a survivor, and back then she'd been raw and desperate. The shift in conversation is appreciated, however, talking about something a little less heavy. She doesn't know how to say that it matters that he doesn't flinch away from her, from the sort of stained-red person she is. So she doesn't. There's a twitch of her lips as he promises that they'll get her out of there, that they wont leave her.
But then he asks her to promise him, and there's a look in her eyes, like he'd asked her for something almost too important and she tilts her head, tries to process it all.]
Wash- I can't promise you that. I'll do the best than I can, but I want them both out safe. If I can get myself out too, that would be ideal, but I'm the easiest to sacrifice. Odds are they wont just kill me outright like they might with Byerly, and hell if I'll let that happen. And I know less about the Barrayar camp than he does, so I'll be less likely to compromise anyone else. If we have to sacrifice someone to get the others out, you know I'm the practical option.
[She shifts a little when he talks about pulling rank on her, though, because that sort of thing does still matter to her. The way he calls her Natashka. The way he says he wants all three of them safe, and she sighs softly, and he's good at getting under her skin, knowing the right things to pull at.]
It's not like I'm looking for an excuse. It's just what makes sense. In the scheme of things, I'm just another Exotic.
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He understands. He does. There's nothing for it, but to focus on something else. ]
I know you're the most practical option. [ Because of course he does, of course he's weighed it. That was Natasha's advantage as an informant. She's never been to the camp, and Wash has been careful with what information she shares, what they'd get out of her wouldn't be useless but it'd be limited. Byerly, though? Byerly's native and from the fucking future. The location of the camp's probably the least concerning thing in his damn head. ] My point is that there isn't going to be a need for a choice, in the first place. No sacrifices, no heroics. Ideally we get her out and leave both of your covers intact, and the worst case scenario is that we get all three of you out. Nothing less is going to be acceptable.
[ He sounds firm, here -- authoritative. The officer in him. But this was always Wash's weakness, wasn't it, his one failing as an officer or a leader in a time of war. Losses happen. People die. You suck it up and move on. He knows how to do that, has lost too many people not to, but damn if he doesn't do anything he can to prevent it from happening when sometimes in the bigger picture a different leader, a different captain, a different sergeant might've taken the loss. For the UNSC, for humanity, Semper Fi, always loyal. But for Wash, loyalty to his own has always been more important than loyalty for the cause.
He likes to think of this as an advantage, rather than a weakness. ]
Just another Exotic wouldn't be here talking to me right now, Natasha.
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But god if it isn't the same sort of idealism she sees in her friends. Clint and Steve, especially. The belief that there's always an option where everyone makes it out alive, where you can save people without sacrificing something to do it. She shakes her head as she closes the distance between them with a sigh, standing close and looking up into his eyes with a sharp touch to her bright blues.]
Moy dorogoy you are stupidly sentimental. [The tone of the words is a little frustrated more than actually insulting, that way her mouth curves more exasperated than upset.] Just like my friends back home. [It's a quiet admittance to the fact that she's a little bit used to it, accepts it, in her own way even as she doesn't look away from his gaze.]
But it's not always that easy. You can't always find a way to tell the world that you don't want to choose. [Her expression somehow both sad and lightly affectionate as she looks up at him, lips pressed thin. The world was never quite that kind to her. And the people like Steve and Clint and maybe even Wash got to live in a world that was just a little kinder than hers. The ironic truth was that in the end she'd follow that optimism, that belief and loyalty to friends further than her own practicality. Her eyes warming a little, smiling a little lop-sidedly, fingers twitching.]
And yet, I keep finding myself taking orders from people that think you can.
[It's a weakness. She knows it's a weakness. And yet it's one she's guilty of as well, or they wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place. She also wouldn't have punched Byerly and started that particular mess, either. She cares too much, she just doesn't have that optimism to believe it doesn't end in ashes, unless you bleed for it.]
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It might be setting himself up for tragedy, most times, but it's tragedy either way and he'd be damned if he doesn't do his best to get all his people out alive. The first altercation of many he'd had with the UNSC was when he'd decided he'd rather assault a commanding officer than take the orders of sending a platoon into certain death. He hasn't exactly learned his lesson, since then. If anything, he's more that man than he ever was before.
Wash might smile, shrug a little helplessly. He is sentimental, he knows he is. Trying to reject that has caused him more problems in his life than anything else. ]
Of course it's not always that easy. But to me, the mission objective is still clear -- not just Sonia, but all three of you safe. It doesn't matter how difficult it'll be, or how willing you are to die. Any loss won't be acceptable to me, so I'm going to do my best to prevent it.
[ And Natasha can't stop him from that. Neither can Byerly, for that matter. All terribly stubborn fools, but at least working on the same goals, more or less -- Wash just hopes that his own drive to keep them alive will do enough to counterbalance their own drives to give up anything for Sonia. ]
You're compromised. [ Blunt, honest, but there's no need to talk around it. They both know it. ] I know there's no such thing as a risk-free operation, but I don't think I can trust you to not put yourself at unnecessary risk, not around Sonia. I can't trust Byerly with that, either, which means my job aside from getting her out of there is to keep both of you from getting yourselves killed.
If nothing else? We need information more than ever. Keep your cover and you'll be helping more in the long run. And Sonia . . . [ A sigh. He looks back at Natasha, a quiet understanding in his eyes. ] Please. Stay away from her.
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[Which is maybe a quiet indication that Nat's always had this streak, this way that she fights hard but is always the one willing to throw herself into the line of fire. She'd been raised on the idea that the mission was always the most important, and SHIELD hadn't so much changed that opinion as it had just given her a different target. Most of the time.
He says she's compromised and she sighs, a shrug of her shoulders and an almost helpless twitch of her lips. Not quite in humor, but more that they both know he's right- what use is there in trying to deny it? She'd told him enough, given him enough pieces to where he could understand how bad this was for her. She would like to insist that any risk she takes would be necessary for ensuring the safety of either Sonia or Byerly, but in a situation like this, she's not going to argue the point.]
I'm doing everything I can. I stole Byerly a bottle of Vorkosigan wine from Zahal so he can make nice with Micah, I'm trying to stay as involved in the Star Gate project as possible, I'm seeing what I can pick up on Lady Diya and Haut Sei, and there's the gene therapy project. [A pause, her lips thinning.] You're right; I'm seriously off-mission. It doesn't mean I wont do what needs to be done. But I can't protect her if I stay away from her, and I don't trust anyone else to be able to do it. Tarn was the one that went after her in Riverfall and I don't trust him not to try something once they let Sonia out of her cell.
[She sighs, rakes a hand through her hair.] I may have had a few words with him before. He's dangerous. I'd shoot him in the back of the head with a plasma rifle if I didn't think it would raise suspicions.
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There's no point arguing that, is there. She's ready to take the bullet, Wash has made it clear that he wants her to be careful, wants her to be safe, that he considers that part of the objective as much as anything else. That's all there is to it. So he just listens, taking in the information, it's good to have an idea of what she's been doing. Wine for Micah, the gene therapy project -- and Tarn. Tarn sets off an alarm, that's the name he knows, and the person who'd taken Sonia from Riverfall? ]
I was told the person who took her was a woman. Dark hair, scars over her eyes. Vicious. [ Not that he knows anything of what Tarn looks like, but vicious would be a good word for what he knows. He trusts what Ratchet told him. ] If it was Tarn, that's problematic, for a few reasons. I don't know the details about him, but Tarn is a sadist, a torturer. If there was a way for you to take him out cleanly, I'd encourage it, but I doubt there actually is.
[ And if Tarn's the one who Miles spilled his goddamn secret to, that's a problem, too. His lips press into a thin line, working through that in his head, but he keeps answering her. ]
That all sounds good. I trust Byerly will make good on that wine -- but you can protect Sonia while staying away from her, you know that's not impossible. [ A sigh. He knows what he's asking of her. Not exactly moving on, but giving other instructions as well, he won't let them get bogged down on this, knows he's compromised around Sonia himself. ] Keep an eye on Tarn. Keep me updated, on everything else, on Symmetra, on Kurt. If there's anything sensitive you need to relay to Byerly that you can't do in person, I'm the safer way to do that.
Tell me about the gene therapy project, and anything else you're planning on doing.
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[She sighs, her lips thinning slightly. She does not like Tarn, and he doesn't seem to like her, and that was before what had gone down in Riverfall. Much like Wash, she would not be against killing him if there was a clean way to do it.]
I'll keep you updated. [She skips the Sonia issue, lets that gloss over, lay where it is. He's right, to an extent, but he can probably already tell that she wont. She brushes a few strands of hair back from her face, a thin press of her lips. Her feelings on Byerly have gotten complicated, so really the less said on that point the better, from her perspective. She's never been very good at talking about how she feels about people.] Noted, though I'm not too bad at talking to him when I want to.
[You'd think talking about the gene therapy project would be easier, but there's an expression on her face that while not exactly guilty certainly holds traces of I might have fucked up--]
It just started, and I volunteered. I think.. it might be at least partially my fault. I'm pretty sure they're using us as test subjects to the end result that they're hoping they can adapt our abilities for themselves.
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Part of him wants to press the issue with Sonia, and he might, maybe later -- but they both know she won't listen when it comes down to it. She's technically taking orders from him here, yes, but if their roles were reversed, well. Wash would likely to be doing the same as she is. Willing to take risks, compromising cover, going too far . . . ]
Byerly's trustworthy. Just an ass. But he's capable, and we'll likely need both of you to coordinate with us for a plan. Really, if we can get Sonia and Micah, that would be ideal, wouldn't it. Do we know what the good doctor thinks of our captured princess?
[ And then, ah. He's immediately distracted, because that. That sounds terrible. ]
They aren't using the ba anymore, then. They're using you, and anyone else that volunteers. Under the guise of helping you regain what you've lost. [ How lowly they must think of the exotics. The look he gives her is sharp, reprimanding, you know volunteering is a risk, Natasha, but it fades into just plain worry after a few moments, folding his arms over his chest, fingers drumming against one arm. ] Of all the things we know Cetaganda is capable of, genetic engineering is their damn specialty. Giving them free rein . . .
[ His lips press into a thin line. He remembers Jasper, desperate as she was to regain the strength she'd lost. Deanna, that Natasha mentioned before, the one who lost her empathetic powers . . . He's choosing not to address the part about Natasha saying it might be her fault. He'll hear her out if she elaborates, but he's focusing more on the what than the how, right now. ]
I would've liked you to keep an eye on that project, but maybe not quite so first-hand. [ A slight, wry smile, but it doesn't really cut through the worry in his expression, fading quickly into just a weary sigh. ] Tashka, are you sure you actually know what they're doing with you? Would you know if something was wrong?
[ He still doesn't trust York's damn eye. Let alone this. ]
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But she nods with a sigh, even if she's sure that Wash doesn't really believe that she's taking the issue to heart. He's too good for that, and she's not even trying particularly to sell that lie.]
Well, you're not wrong. [There's a quirk of something almost like a touch of a smile for a breath before it vanishes back under her worry.] Not yet. Sonia hasn't accepted her parole, so they're still keeping her in a cell.
[It's a point she intends to try and investigate, but then they're switching tacks and she follows with a quiet nod of her head.] I know. We're test subjects, with the ultimate goal I predict to be some method of ensuring they can use our genetics in their own geneic engineering programs. Sacrifices so they can figure out how to stabilize it.
[Yes, she knows volunteering is a risk, but she also hadn't felt like she had much choice. She'd been working on the very subject with Diya more or less since she got here. Pulling back from that once she'd realized what they were doing with the ba? As much as she'd wanted to she'd been cautious of drawing attention. And she'd be lying if she said she didn't want just to be able to breathe in her own body again.]
I know it's risky. That said, I'm not sure if I'd have been able to really keep an eye on it without being involved. It's Diya and Sei running the project. [At the question she shakes her head, a thin press of her lips that's a little weary herself as he calls her Tashka. Because he's right, of course, but she'd already accepted that.]
Not really, no. I don't precisely know what they're doing outside of the generalities. I'd know if something went wrong when it started affecting me, but other than that?
[She shrugs her shoulders. Yes, she knows this is a bad idea. She doesn't trust it either, if that's any sort of reassurance. And she certainly doesn't think that the Cetagandans are actually interested in helping the Exotics. This is all for their genetic projects. And thinking of what happened with the Ba makes this not a particularly pleasant thought.]
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When he'd asked Miles about the ba, about the experiments Natasha had told him about, Miles had said he had heard of genetically engineered superpowers. Done over years. He'd been surprised at how quickly the empathetic ability Natasha had talked about could've been expressed in the ba, referred to it with disbelief, called it magic. But clearly that's something the Cetagandans are capable of, through technology they've already gained from other worlds or otherwise . . . God, what could they do to a person.
A breath. He'll need to keep an eye on her, somehow. Make sure she isn't being too affected. Obviously if she's part of some experiment they'll be keeping their own data on her, but he doesn't trust that for obvious reasons, though his means of making sure she's okay are -- limited, here. ]
That's why Sei came here, then. To supervise the project herself. [ The Handmaiden herself . . . Miles had emphasized, repeatedly, how important that is. Second only to the Empress. ] Then I suppose the exotics' genes, your genes, might be part of the genetic direction of the Empire.
You'd know if it started affecting you, but I feel like they're good enough with their -- craft -- that if they didn't want you to feel it, you wouldn't. I don't know what they could be doing with you or with any of the others, but --
[ And that's when he moves. He'd been running through it in the back of his mind even as he talked, what would be a good way to gauge Natasha's well-being, what would be something that the Cetagandans are most likely to try and affect? Her ability to fight. To make her less of a threat to them. If Wash knows anything about her, it's the way she fights, and what's the best way to gauge that?
It's lightning quick, and his expression doesn't even shift, conversational and concerned and then suddenly he's twisting around with a knife in his hand ( where did he get that from, might've almost been too fast to tell, but he has that one hidden at his waist for easy reach ). They never really did sparring with knives on the base, mostly hand to hand, but Natasha might be able to see fairly quickly that a knife is something he's more than comfortable with, quickly closing the distance between them, reversing the knife's grip in his palm and bringing it down straight towards her shoulder.
Wash has more than enough control that if she doesn't respond, somehow, the blade would stop an inch from her skin. It's obvious what he's doing from context of the conversation, from how he aims at something like her shoulder rather at somewhere that would actually incapacitate or kill her, and with anyone else Wash might've hesitated a bit longer to do this but this. Reminds him of Maine, in a way, and how they'd challenged each other. Natasha would understand immediately, too.
And despite everything, well, he'd be damned if there wasn't a thrill to this. A touch of fond familiarity. ]