[ The thing about Felix is that, well, Wash has been shot in the back before. Wash has trusted people, loved people only to see them turn around and leave him for dead. He's seen Maine ( except he wasn't Maine anymore, was he, but god sometimes in those dreams ) bearing down towards him growling and snarling like the animal that everyone else always said he was and Wash always knew he never was, has laid there bleeding and barely conscious enough to process South's voice calmly explaining that the Meta has two choices, here, still remembers how wholly he used to believe in the Director's vision before was forced to reckon with how hollow it really was. And yet, well, it hurts every time, god it hurts every time and Felix. Had been cruel.
Felix had been a specific kind of betrayal. A manipulative one, a clever little bastard who knew how to worm his way under your skin, to carve himself a little space right next to your heart, to make you trust him before tearing himself right out. He liked doing that. Delighted in that. And Wash knows how to deal with that hurt, that pain, has felt it enough that he's almost ( but not quite, never, not even fucking close really ) numb to it, anymore, but Tucker.
Wash isn't obviously jumpy about anything, sure. Not outwardly. But there are things he jumps at, things that pull at cracks in his mind that'll never heal ( he still doesn't think he'll ever be able to bring himself to even so much as say Allison ). He second-guesses everything, lets paranoia rule him, jumps at shadows because a false start or two is a hell of a lot better than missing a knife in the dark, and sure it's safe in some ways but it's a miserable fucking way to live. It's a misery that he'll live with, because he knows how broken he is. Tucker isn't there, yet. Will never be there, if Wash can help it. Tucker can do a lot better than him here, like he can do a lot better than him in so many places, and Wash is determined to help him there.
And, yes. Apparently he's going to do this now. What better way to really pull Tucker away from the hell going on around them, after all. He'd honesty not planned on really delving into this too deeply, just to bring it up as something for him to to be aware of while they trained, but Tucker never does things in halves, right. ]
Don't get stabbed is a great rule, but stabbing's just part of what you do with a knife. [ So very calmly, while watching Tucker evenly for every little reaction, every flinch, every twitch. ] The thing about a thrust with a knife, though, is that you usually need to be real close to pull it off. Usually it's slashing first, getting what damage you can, carving away at your target however you can reach, bit by bit until they let down their guard or until you get past their guard enough to go in for a clean stab.
[ Knives are great weapons for cunning little shits. Goes with the theme. ]
Even then, you twist the knife, when you can. Drag it through the flesh for more if you can manage it. You make it count. You make it hurt.
[ But ah, he isn't just talking about the knife, is he? Wash still has his hand held out, still holding it out by the hilt. This isn't about knives and Wash is sure that Tucker knows that as much as he doesn't want to admit it. ]
Felix was real good at that. [ Takes a liar to know a liar, right? Wash should've known better, because he's been through that shit, he's done that shit, but the Reds and Blues had softened him so much he'd been just as blind to it as the rest of them were. He needs to be more careful, sure, especially when he's looking out for them, but hell if he'll let anyone turn Tucker into as miserable of a bastard as Wash himself is. ] We all bought into it, you know? Not just you.
if you have to apologize then i do, too. insert novel get novel
Felix had been a specific kind of betrayal. A manipulative one, a clever little bastard who knew how to worm his way under your skin, to carve himself a little space right next to your heart, to make you trust him before tearing himself right out. He liked doing that. Delighted in that. And Wash knows how to deal with that hurt, that pain, has felt it enough that he's almost ( but not quite, never, not even fucking close really ) numb to it, anymore, but Tucker.
Wash isn't obviously jumpy about anything, sure. Not outwardly. But there are things he jumps at, things that pull at cracks in his mind that'll never heal ( he still doesn't think he'll ever be able to bring himself to even so much as say Allison ). He second-guesses everything, lets paranoia rule him, jumps at shadows because a false start or two is a hell of a lot better than missing a knife in the dark, and sure it's safe in some ways but it's a miserable fucking way to live. It's a misery that he'll live with, because he knows how broken he is. Tucker isn't there, yet. Will never be there, if Wash can help it. Tucker can do a lot better than him here, like he can do a lot better than him in so many places, and Wash is determined to help him there.
And, yes. Apparently he's going to do this now. What better way to really pull Tucker away from the hell going on around them, after all. He'd honesty not planned on really delving into this too deeply, just to bring it up as something for him to to be aware of while they trained, but Tucker never does things in halves, right. ]
Don't get stabbed is a great rule, but stabbing's just part of what you do with a knife. [ So very calmly, while watching Tucker evenly for every little reaction, every flinch, every twitch. ] The thing about a thrust with a knife, though, is that you usually need to be real close to pull it off. Usually it's slashing first, getting what damage you can, carving away at your target however you can reach, bit by bit until they let down their guard or until you get past their guard enough to go in for a clean stab.
[ Knives are great weapons for cunning little shits. Goes with the theme. ]
Even then, you twist the knife, when you can. Drag it through the flesh for more if you can manage it. You make it count. You make it hurt.
[ But ah, he isn't just talking about the knife, is he? Wash still has his hand held out, still holding it out by the hilt. This isn't about knives and Wash is sure that Tucker knows that as much as he doesn't want to admit it. ]
Felix was real good at that. [ Takes a liar to know a liar, right? Wash should've known better, because he's been through that shit, he's done that shit, but the Reds and Blues had softened him so much he'd been just as blind to it as the rest of them were. He needs to be more careful, sure, especially when he's looking out for them, but hell if he'll let anyone turn Tucker into as miserable of a bastard as Wash himself is. ] We all bought into it, you know? Not just you.