Well, because not doing relationships ideally should come out of a free choice rather than some monstrous experience you had or your deep self-loathing or so on and so forth - but carry on, dear fellow, it's your life to live and not mine. The issue isn't surprise, you see. The issue is you mucking this up grotesquely and breaking tiny Miles' tiny heart a bit with your bumbling.

[ A beat. ]

No offense.