"What I was doing." But that's not helpful - and not entirely true, either. Being in the Cetagandan camp wasn't it - not really. It was close to the work that drives him, and that brought some relief, but it was not truly what he wanted to do. "It - "

He turns his gaze on Sonia a moment, wary before even her. Then he shakes his head, and he admits, "It - means serving people. Not just fulfilling orders to get some kick out of getting bossed around by a man in a uniform, the reason most Vor go into the military. But actually helping - " A hesitation, then a noise of mingled humiliation and frustration. "It doesn't matter."