[ february ii log ]

[barrayarmods]

Who: Everyone
What: Traitors exposed, celebrations had, sleight hands passing cards under the table. And so begin the preparations for what is soon to come.
When: February 18th - 28th
Where: Barrayaran camp / Cetagandan base
Warnings: Torture (interrogations thread)

Quick links:
Riverfall
Barrayar: Barrayaran camp / Party / Missions
Cetaganda: Cetagandan base / Moon-poetry party / Missions

The harsh weather rages on, which temperatures still averaging far below freezing, and the wind is still strong. But things are a little less dire for the outsiders, and for the exotics -- well, they have their own chills to deal with.

riverfall
Riverfall village is your typical Dendarii mountain village, which means it's small, humble, and mostly poor. This is the most rural of the rural around here, a little backwater even by Barrayaran standards. Most of the villagers live in houses of wood and stone built themselves or by ancestors. Despite the cold, there are plenty of people outside at any given time -- working, mostly, because the daily grind stops for no one, but even the occasional group of children taken over by fits of cabin fever. The village is built up against a rocky mountain face, from the top of which the eponymous waterfall flows into the river that borders the west edge of the village and continues down the mountain. The place isn't exactly hidden, but if you don't know your way around, it'd be hard to find without a native guide.

The villagers are wary of the outsiders at first, even more than the soldiers had been -- the rural Dendarii are as superstitious as they come -- but, slowly convinced of their good intentions, start to warm to them. They're a blunt, hardy people, largely uneducated and tending toward the most extreme of Barrayaran sensibilities, but they are undeniably fierce. The General Count trusts them, so they'll be more or less civil (by Barrayaran standards, anyway), but you might catch the occasional scrutinizing, watchful stare. With Cetagandans in camp and exotics among them, they border on hostile, especially those who are visibly nonhuman. They keep their heads down enough to keep from getting into trouble with the soldiers, but they do not like you at all.

Not everyone in Riverfall speaks English -- Russian is everyone's first language, and only about half the village has any passable command of English. Thankfully, the village's Speaker Yakiv Gura speaks English, if heavily accented. They're clearly stretching to the limit to help the camp, but to the Dendarii, there's no higher act than one in the Count's service, especially when it comes to fighting this war.

barrayar
Even after scoring themselves a little extra food, morale in the camp is at an all-time low. The miserably dangerous weather hasn't let up, food is still heavily rationed, and everyone is still at least a little tired, cold, and hungry all of the time. It doesn't help that they've lost a few soldiers in the last couple of weeks, and in Riverfall, too, some villagers have died of the cold despite their relative warmth and safety, mostly children. This is hardly the first harsh winter they've faced, but that doesn't stop the inexorable loss that comes with it. Some villagers may be somberly putting their loved ones to rest in the village graveyard when the outsiders are in town.

But Piotr finally calls Negri out as a spy sent by his aide-de-camp Captain Ezar Vorbarra, partly to deliver a message and partly to test Piotr, because Ezar loves coy bullshit. However, he does learn that both Ezar and Prince Xav Vorbarra, Olivia and Sonia's father, are en route to Vorkosigan's District with relief supplies from Beta Colony secured by Xav's ambassadorial connections and tireless lobbying. Once Piotr judges it safe to release this information, it bring with it a bit of hope -- and to seal the deal, Piotr and Olivia arrange a celebration of sorts in the village.

Finally outing the ring of reason in the camp helps to bolster morale, too. Vorhalas is interrogated, and the names of his co-conspirators are revealed: Lieutenant Boris Vortala, who killed himself in disgrace shortly after his fast-penta interrogation at ghem-General Zefyst's hand, and their commander Captain Aaron Vorbataille. Vorbataille has, of course, already started to make his escape -- but with the help out of the outsiders, he won't get very far. Once Piotr is satisfied with Vorbataille's interrogation as well, both men are put to execution, but not by beheading as Doctor ghem-Miko: the sentence for treason is death by public starvation and exposure, and in this weather, it doesn't take long. They are publicly and emphatically denounced as traitors with no honor to speak of, sending a very clear message. Although this might seem like a gruesome sight to the outsiders, to the Barrayarans this is simply how it goes, and very few of them are sorry to see these traitors suffer, particularly as Vorhalas was the one responsible for their food shortage in the first place.

Reports from those soldiers and outsiders who were in the village at the same time as the Cetagandan field science team present the General Count with another troubling problem, however: the implications of the Cetagandans building a device that could control this phenomenon are terrifying, particularly to this threadbare resistance movement. But sabotage seems hardly a worthy solution, either. This is the only lead they have on sending the outsiders home, and so many of them have already put their lives on the line for the cause of a planet that otherwise nothing to most of them. There would be no honor in robbing them of their only chance to return home. But whether they should continue to allow the Cetagandans to proceed with their research or try to find a way to copy their plans themselves, a dubiously possible venture at best, weighs heavily on his mind. It only complicates his strategic concerns further, but by his military orders in the next couple of weeks, at least one thing is clear: he wants Cetagandan bodies.

camp
Morale is critically low among the soldiers, particularly after a few casualties during a recent skirmish with a Cetagandan patrol, but spirits definitely begin to lift with news of relief. The soldiers are now more or less accustomed to the outsiders' place in the camp, and they're even starting to become a little friendlier toward them, particularly those who've been involved in the war effort. They might invite outsiders to play card or dice games with them, or share a conversation over an admittedly meager meal, or better still, bond with them in the true Barrarayan form: over a lot of alcohol.

Negri has more or less built himself a niche in the camp, and doesn't look like he's going anywhere any time soon. But he isn't the only spy around. They desperately need a man on the inside, particularly with the troubling news about the wormhole device, and right now, that man is Byerly Vorrutyer. Starting next month, Piotr is sending him on assignment to infiltrate the Cetagandan base under the cover of a cowardly collaborator.

party
By the time they have the party on the 21st, the villagers have warmed up to the outsiders a little, but they don't really bond until the party. With what little they have to share, they scrape together as much of a feast as they can: not much, but by this month's standards, any hot meal prepared with fresh ingredients seems absolutely decadent. And because this is Barrayar there is, of course, plenty of liquor, that Barrayaran moonshine maple mead not the least among them, and there's no shortage of wine or vodka, either.

The hillfolk light lanterns all around the village and raise large tarps to cover the open center of the village where they usually hold gatherings. Inside, protected from the wind and lit by the bonfire and braziers placed around the perimeter, it's actually almost warm. Every villager who's ever laid hand to an instrument seems to gather there to play music all night long, an energetic mix of lively folk music and raucous drinking songs. Anyone with any musical talent would be welcome to join them as well. There's plenty of dancing, too, very little of it formal or complicated, but everyone's having a good time for the first time in weeks, maybe months, and the mood is infectious. By the end of the night, morale seems to have risen overall, and people in camp have something real to look forward to. The partygoing visitors are put up in warmed tents within the tarped village center or in the villagers' homes where they have room. Come morning, they'll head back, but for just one night, it's almost like there isn't even a war on.

missions
Outsiders have been assisting with moving supplies between the camp and Riverfall all throught he rest of the month, and it mostly goes smoothly. Vorbataille is caught on the 20th, although he and Vorhalas aren't publicly executed until a few days later, when Piotr is satisfied with the intelligence he's extracted. By the time he gets Vorbataille's name out of Vorhalas, the traitorous Captain has already fled -- but thanks to Carolina, Duv and Zarya, he's dragged back to camp for his interrogation.

That evening, Maine and William have the misfortune of encountering a dragon -- Darkstalker is on a mission with a Cetagandan patrol, and they run right smack into each other. A fight breaks out, but ultimately Darkstalker and the Cetagandans come out on top, and the outsiders and Barrayarans are forced to retreat -- but not before managing to kill a Cetagandan soldier or two, just barely escaping with one of the bodies.

Miles finds himself in a terrible position when a guard patrol shift goes horribly wrong in a skirmish against some Cetagandans, resulting in the death of their squad leader and a very ugly aftermath.

Zarya, William, Beth and Miles are in Riverfall with some Barrayaran soldiers on a supply run when a Cetagandan field science team arrives with a few exotics in tow. This is a rare chance to learn more about the Cetagandans' scientific exploits, and among other things, they find out that whatever it is that brought them here, the Cetagandan scientists are convincede it has something to do with the wormhole that collapsed 700 years ago.

The unabridged mission writeup is here.

cetaganda
The Cetagandans are a notoriously tight-lipped bunch, but they're blowing away most of the smoke surrounding their wormhole science research. As has been alluded, they're currently working on a device to harness the phenomenon that brought all the exotics here in the first place, and hopefully find a way to send them all home with it. They invite any exotics with scientific expertise to a series of interviews about neurology, astrophysics, and mechanical engineering. None of the advisement they receive helps to solve one of their most critical problems -- that of generating a Necklin field to match the one that must have surrounded each exotic -- but it certainly puts them closer to their goal, particularly in the area of neurology, and they're hardly going to stop there. But it's clear that the mathematicians and astrophysicists on base don't have sufficient expertise to solve the most complex equations before them. But on the brighter side of things, in the interest of this scientific exchange, they're letting the lab techs help a little more beyond just grunt work.

Meanwhile, the genetics project that seems so strange and arcane to the exotic carries on, largely behind the scenes, although Diya is increasingly at odds with her husband and even some of her senior staff, particularly the precocious Amai ghem-Soren. But there is very real purpose behind it -- and far more than just one -- and Diya d'Zefyst is a woman of great ambition. And more than anything else, she is haut.

Unfortunately, the relative peace on base is abruptly broken when Daryl, Lakshmi and Wash all manage to escape in a wild breakout attempt on the 25th. York and Ratchet are left behind, and as a result, some of their privileges revoked. They're now being watched a little more closely as a result.

base
Overall, despite simmering tensions under the surface and the miserable weather, life on base seems to be going more or less smoothly around them. The Cetagandans have had some recent victories against the Barrayarans, so morale is high. Unfortunately, after the breakout they begin cracking down on security with the exotics -- going back to treating the exotics a little more like they did when they first arrived. They aren't under guard, but after the 25th, they are being watched.

They still maintain that insistent veneer of civility, however, breaking only in cases where they feel the need or security risk is significant enough. The ghem on base remain overall cordial and courteous to the exotics as they ever were, which is to say considerably and always with a touch of smug superiority. With her success at the party earlier this month followed by her performance in the moon-poetry garden, the often-sequestered Amai ghem-Soren is seen more around the base.

moon-poetry party
The moon-poetry party is about three hours long and steeped in ceremony, each participant taking their turn to recite. This is, apparently, not a recitation of one's own work, but rather selections of classical Cetagandan poems, and in so referencing something culturally ubiquitous, each makes a statement in its mere selection and juxtapositions. If you pay close enough attention, you might notice that each participant has very subtly coordinated their outfits to further complement the theme of their recitation. Although there is a definite dignity to the party, it doesn't take much to pick up on the fact that this is yet another arena ghem use to try and socially one-up one another. Among the participants are both the Chief Medical Officer Colonel Faro ghem-Naru and Doctor Amai ghem-Soren, whose performance was especially well-received, the theme apparently being something about subtle passions.

missions
The science interviews with the exotics go more or less well, although not quite so hopeful as the Cetagandans were hoping. They do, however, learn some things about FTL travel in other worlds as well as other kinds of neural implants.

On the evening of the 21st, York, Natasha and Kaidan accidentally bear witness to what is clearly some kind of travesty: clearly a human being, but both overgrown and underdeveloped, and exhibiting powers of hydrokinesis and psychic empathy, referred to only as a ba.

On the 23rd, Jasper, Lapis, Pearl and Darkstalker accompany some soldiers and a field science team to Riverfall village, coinciding with a visit from some outsiders and soldiers. They encounter some outsiders while there but also pick up a bit on what it is the Cetagandans are doing -- that the Necklin field problem still remains their biggest problem, and they've been getting conflicting orders from the higher ups lately.

The unabridged mission writeup is here.

Note: Negri and Zahal are available for threads by request only this round. Please hit up Madi or Ammay respectively if you want threads with either of those NPCs. You can also request a thread with Village Speaker Yakiv Gura if you want, in which case hit up Madi.

Comments

[dendarii]

"Believe in yourself with or without us," he says fervently. "But we believe in you too." He's certain at least one of those people is Byerly. It's making him feel rather ... well, petty about his earlier argument with the man. Maybe he can still manage an apology before the man leaves.

In any case, he gives her hand another squeeze. "It's nothing at all. I'm glad to help someone through the same conundrum I once faced myself."

[vorbratta]

Sonia feels a swell of comfort in that, in the conviction in his voice, because believing in herself isn't the problem so much as finding something about herself to believe in. She's resented the role of morale booster, feeling useless all this time. Maybe she just needs to find something else to believe in. Something else to focus on. Or maybe that's what she should be focusing on. She isn't entirely sure. She just knows that all these people, all her new friends, seem to think she is so much more than she's felt in a long time. The warmth of it is a little overwhelming, so for a moment she just takes a long drink from the bottle before rocking forward, elbows on her knees.

"Thank you," she says again, because just the once seemed inadequate somehow. Her expression is a little glazed, but thoroughly warmed. "I'm very lucky to have you and Byerly as friends. Especially with...with everything that's been happening."

The hunger, the cold, the utter crushing hopelessness of it all. Byerly and Miles had made her feel better then, had made her feel wanted or useful or whatever it was she needed.

[dendarii]

As he thought. Byerly has been helping, then. In his own Byerly way, maybe not the way he'd do it. But ... he can see the effect, can't he? Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to agree with Piotr after all. Sonia will take Byerly's supposed defection very hard, he think.

He can't possibly risk the mission now. Not when Byerly's life will be on the line. Not when Byerly himself couldn't tell her. But maybe ... maybe he can soften the blow in advance.

"Byerly is a good man," he says, leaning his head lightly against her. "For all that he pretends otherwise. He'd fooled me for quite a while."

[vorbratta]

Sonia settles a little on the bench, her arm going around Miles's shoulders again. She knows he must get bullshit all the time for his height, but really, he's rather ideal for this, especially with her on the taller side.

"Oh, I knew right away," she sighs, closing her eyes. "He's a very good liar, but he's lousy at telling the truth. It's sort of funny to watch, actually. But..." She scrubs at her cheek. "I know he'd like me to believe otherwise. But he really is a good man."

She falls into silence for a moment, just staring into the fire. Then she says, "I had a, ah...a long talk with him earlier."

[dendarii]

Miles is quiet a bit at that. A long talk, eh? Did Byerly tell her after all? He ... isn't sure what outcome he's hoping for there. "It's quite true. I have the worst time convincing him otherwise too."

A pause. His curiosity is just too much... "What did you talk about? May I ask?"

[vorbratta]

"A lot of things," Sonia says slowly, trying drunkenly to tease out the details into something coherent. "His merit as a human being among them. Some...things we had in common."

And a hell of a lot they didn't. Sonia looks down at Miles, cocking her head to the side. "I didn't sleep with him, you know."

[dendarii]

He holds up his hands in surrender at that. "Far be it from me to judge." Byerly, though. He'd judge Byerly a little. Maybe less after tonight, but a little. "What things in common, then?"

[vorbratta]

Sonia breathes out an awkward laugh. "Ah -- no," she says, looking suddenly self-conscious. "He turned me down."

She coughs, groping for a way to answer Miles's question, because those had been the most private things of all. And Byerly's secret other Vorbarr Sultana... "I suppose it's hard to describe," she says carefully, chewing on her lower lip. "He...sees things like I see them. Or maybe the other way around. But I suppose there was really more we didn't have in common."

She shrugs, fumbling to articulate herself. "He was very...honest. Have you ever seen him really try? It was... Well." She smiles slightly, tentatively. "He said a lot of things that you said, too, actually."

[dendarii]

Byerly turned Sonia down? He blinks a moment in surprise. That - okay, that's not what he expected. For Byerly to turn Sonia down when she's actively offering ... his respect for the man ticks up a bit. As does his guilt.

But that's not what he should be focusing on here. He thinks he knows what Byerly may have been talking about, given their own conversations and the context Sonia is giving him now. Had ... Byerly told her their secret? Is it possible? He thinks she would treat him differently if she knew, though. He's quiet a moment as he thinks. "A different image of Barrayar," he says after a moment. "A newer one. More room for people like you and him."

[vorbratta]

Sonia lifts her gaze at that, looking at Miles cautiously, tentatively. She knows he and Byerly are good friends. And she knows -- well, she knows what Byerly told her, but she still can't quite decide if she believes it. But if Miles is from that same alternate Barrayar...it would make a certain kind of sense.

But Byerly had given her his secret in confidence, and she would not betray her promise. She bites her lower lip, nodding. "One where there wasn't a war on," she says quietly, wistfully. "Dancing, drinking, gossip..." Her smile tilts ironically. "It's the strangest thing, Miles. I miss Beta Colony, and I feel so -- so stifled here, but I miss this other Barrayar Byerly talks about even more. A place I've never even seen."

[dendarii]

So Byerly has told her. Something, anyway. He can't quite suss out if that includes their connection to the Vorkosigans; clearly it hadn't included Miles in particular. So he'd best step carefully around Byerly in turn, so as not to accidentally undo what he may have said.

"He's right," he says quietly. Voice pitched low, though there's really no need. There's no one anywhere near them who will remember anything in the morning. "His world is ... different from mine." He's speaking more metaphorically here - not that he knows there's a distinction to make. "But we both see a Barrayar with no war. With - room for more kinds of people. More ways to live."

(She will never live to see it. Not unless they manage to do something impossible.)

[vorbratta]

"Different," Sonia echoes, not entirely sure how literally she should take that from Miles -- if he's from another alternate Barrayar -- but he must know about Byerly, at least. It's clear he does.

"I thought for a long time," she says slowly, "that when this was all over, I'd go back to Beta Colony. Next year when this is over, I told myself. In three years when this is over. In five. In ten..." She stares at the fire, the afterimage burning into her eyes. "But it's been so long now. What if I don't really miss the things I remember? But Barrayar...it's beautiful here, I know it is, in ways Beta Colony can't possibly be. But it always felt like such an ill fit. My sister, she falls right into place here, she's so damned Vor...but I never really fit. But when Byerly talks to me -- I feel like I could."

She looks back at Miles, her arm still around his shoulders. and breathes out a slow breath. "I want that. I'd do anything for that. I don't have any idea what I can do, but...you and Byerly seem to have such faith in me. I'd hate to let you down."

[dendarii]

"Have faith in us in return then," is Miles' reply. "We will not let you down either. No matter how dire the situation may look."

And that is as close as he dares risk their mission. Any more than that and he betrays his grandfather. Byerly too, for that matter. But if he can lessen the blow a little ...

"Having multiple homes - multiple lives - makes for a difficult life," he continues with a soft smile. "But if you can manage the balance, it's all the more rewarding." Admiral Naismith had made Lord Vorkosigan interesting, after all. And vice versa.

[vorbratta]

Sonia hums contemplatively. "I guess I always thought of it in terms of choosing one or the other. But if I don't have to..."

Maybe she could tolerate, then, Barrayar's slow growth. Maybe she could bridge that gap. Maybe she could even facilitate it. Her eyes light up in thought, contemplating this new vision. And Miles -- Miles, so full of conviction, so faithful, so fierce that she cannot help but believe it. She rests her chin in her hand smiles slightly at him.

"Oh, Miles," she murmurs, leaning against him. "I've never had friends like you or Byerly before. I've never had friends I could just...fall back on." She blinks rapidly a few times, sniffing. Maybe it is about time to quit drinking. "I hardly even know what to do with you."

[dendarii]

He can't see her exact thoughts. But the shape of them play out on her face, and he brightens to see it. Good. Maybe she will find her way yet. Maybe ... If they nudge just her, could she escape Yuri's bloodbath later? Without messing things up too badly?

He can't think about that now. Not with her beaming at him that brightly. Tentatively, he reaches out to place a hand on her head.

"Let me help when you need it," he says fondly. "And maybe return the favor someday, should the situation arise."

[vorbratta]

Sonia feels a swell in her chest, almost overwhelming, with affection and comfort and a kind of hope she's not sure she ever knew before. A small breath of a laugh escapes her when Miles pats her head, and she sets down the bottle on the ground, safely out of danger of accidentally being kicked over. That's Vorkosigan wine.

"Miles," she says, turning to him and taking his face in both her hands. Her expression is a little glazed, but she looks utterly serious. "I would do anything you asked of me that's in my power to do."

She's drunk, yes, but entirely sincere.

[dendarii]

He's forced to look her in the eye at that, his gray eyes bright from firelight and sudden emotion. He believes her. How can he not when she professes her commitment so firmly? But the thing he would need to ask for is too great. To ask her to believe his wild story that happens to be true, to maybe help build a bulwark to survive the secret eventually breaking on his grandfather. It would surely get back to him sooner if he tells more people.

But - for all he agrees with his grandfather tactically, can he really not believe in Sonia personally? That seems wrong. Entirely wrong.

He lifts his own hands to place them over Sonia's. And hesitates. He's just drunk enough to try.

"If I told you something crazy, would you promise to believe me?"

[vorbratta]

Sonia blinks at that, a little thrown, which admittedly isn't hard to do right now. Byerly had told her his own tall tale, one that even seems sort of plausible given everything else that's happened, and she's still not entirely sure she believes him. But Byerly, she knows, is terrible at being honest, and so even truths are peppered with lies that are almost impossible to detangle.

"Um," she says, her brain still catching up to her mouth. But this is Miles. Miles doesn't deal in half-truths, does he? Secrets, maybe -- everyone here has secrets -- but Miles is...safe. She can trust him.

She blinks at him again. "I'll try," she says provisionally, but then quickly adds, "but I promise to keep it a secret."

[dendarii]

Oh, god. He'd nearly skipped past the most important part. "It has to stay a secret," he says with feverish intensity. "If you think you cannot--" and he won't judge her if she backs out now, "-- it would be kinder to kill me where I stand."

And he means that literally. The best he can hope for from Piotr is a quick interrogation.

[vorbratta]

This is, perhaps, the worst time and place to ask Sonia to keep a secret. Drunk Sonia is an unfortunate combination of utter earnest and almost no impulse control, and so her desire to help Miles, to make sure she keeps his secret -- she's kept Byerly's after all, hasn't she? -- outweighs her better judgment by a long shot. And maybe even sober Sonia might have made the same decision.

Her eyes widen, because her mind fixates on the it would be kinder to kill me where I stand part, and so she doesn't think as much of the rest of it. But she does want to keep Miles's secret a secret, and if he wants to tell her, then surely there's a reason he wants her to know. She tries to shake her head and nod at the same time, managing some vaguely intelligible gesture, but her eyes are just as serious as ever.

"Of course. You have my word, Miles."

[dendarii]

Sober Miles would probably realize that too. For all that he trusts Sonia, it is a bad idea to let any of his family know this secret. And Sonia is impulsive, and young besides.

But - well, they're both making poor decisions tonight, aren't they? He sucks in a breath.

"Your word, then." He hesitates for one more moment. One more pause on this side of the threshold. Then, by inches, he tips over it. "Miles Illyan is not my real name."

[vorbratta]

Sonia doesn't realize she's holding her breath until he drops that small bomb and she lets it out in a whoosh. But that in itself isn't much of a secret, nor anything particularly wild. She knits her brow.

"Then what is your real name?"

[dendarii]

She's still with him. But it's this next part that is critical. If she doubts him here, then he can't possibly continue further.

"Lord Vorkosigan." Title first, because Sonia will understand the subtle distinctions involved. "Lord Miles Vorkosigan."

There. Now he's either fucked this all to hell or taken a step towards having someone from his family know the truth. It's freeing. He's terrified.

[vorbratta]

Sonia is, unfortunately, too drunk to put together all those pieces right away. She opens her mouth in unvoiced objection and then just squints at him.

"What?" A very intelligent response, that. "Wait, what? Count Piotr doesn't have any brothers or...other relatives for that matter, it's just him and my sister..."

[dendarii]

"Just so," he confirms. He's gone all taut and nervous, feeling as though he might snap at any moment. "But the general will have a son one day. And that son will have me."

No need to go into exactly which son. That is too depressing to get into tonight.