[ march ii log: ageless beauty ]

[barrayarmods]

Who: Everyone!
What: The skies finally lighten, and so do spirits, but there are still quiet machinations in the dark. The good doctor's fate is finally decided.
When: March 18th - 31st
Where: Barrayaran camp, Cetagandan base & Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD

Quick links:
Riverfall
Barrayar: Plague / Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Plague / Base / Missions

First: Special thanks and credit to Vee (veelynn) for lending us her beautiful photography for this event!
TIMELINE
3/19 Art Fair
3/20 York & Ratchet's arrival to the Barrayaran camp
3/22 Raid: Medical Supplies
3/26 Haut Sei's arrival, Eavesdropping Eta
3/27 Eavesdropping Sigma
3/27 - 3/28 Rat Race
3/29 Official reception for Haut Sei
3/30 Mystery Plot

One thing can be said for the month of March: at least the weather's gotten better. By mid-month, while the piled-up snow is slow to melt, the temperatures have now risen to just freezing rather than well below freezing. It's still a pretty cold March, but by this point, anything close to freezing feels like a balmy spring, and they have a nice string of sunny days for the rest of the month.

riverfall
Although their numbers have been thinned by the flu epidemic, Cetagandan patrols still pass regularly through the village, allowing those spying for the Cetagandans to pass along information via dead drop.

Riverfall was hit just as hard by the epidemic as the camp, and by the end of the month, the village houses no more than sixty people. The aid from the outsiders and soldiers in caring for and treating the sick goes a long way, but by the end, there are still a lot of bodies to bury and souls to burn death offerings for. There's an overall somber cast to the village despite the brightening weather.

barrayar
The Barrayarans haven't been hit as dramatically as the Cetagandans, but their numbers are much fewer, and patrols are still thin. Anyone healthy enough is being asked to pull double shifts, stretching their resources where they can, but at least the food situation is improving considerably thanks to both Xav's relief supplies and the lightening weather.

Once seeing both his daughters recover from the flu, Prince Xav leaves camp on the 19th to rendezvous with his transport back to Vorbarr Sultana so he can make another risky attempt at getting off-planet and back through the wormhole blockade. Ezar, as Piotr's aide-de-camp, sticks around -- and so does Negri, of course.

Knowing that it would be safer (if less comfortable) and possibly more useful for the Barrayarans to rendezvous with Micah rather than try to get them back off-planet, Xav leaves Doctor Niadem's fate in Barrayaran hands…and not to great result. Now that the Cetagandans have Micah, Piotr and his general staff -- and anyone in-the-know enough about the situation to provide any advisement -- are still debating what to do about Micah and the wormhole device. They could either try to rescue Micah to their side…or leave them in Cetagandan hands and hope to make contact via one of their informants.

This makes cultivating informants on the Cetagandan side an even higher priority, and if anyone has any ties to outsiders on the other side, personal or otherwise, Piotr wants to hear about it. Any intelligence about the Star Gate Project is vital.

plague
The ill in the camp and Riverfall are recovering, slowly, but the flu is still spreading, reaching its apex, and people are still getting sick. Even as the weather clears up, it's still damp, and many of the sick are falling to pneumonia, a near-certain death without antibiotics. They've already exhausted the medical supplies Xav and Ezar brought with them, and the medical raids went poorly -- only resulting in enough antibiotics for about 20% of the village and camp's combined population.

By the end of the month, though, the Barrayarans are finally beginning to pull through. The camp and village start to recover, with the mortalities over the month total to 58 influenza-related deaths. It's time to bury the death, burn a death offering, and keep on moving on.

camp
Both Olivia and Sonia have recovered from their bouts with the flu, more or less intact despite Olivia's very touch-and-go health for a while. Now Sonia's repaying everyone's visits to her by tending to the sick and helping out where she can. And as the weather warms up and people start to recover, the line for the bath tent starts getting longer…it's still pretty cold, but after lying around in the sickbay tent for a while, few people are going to complain for the chance to wash.

Morale is still buckling, so amidst all the doom and gloom, Sonia decides to try and bring a little levity to the camp by hosting a makeshift little art show on the 19th. The Princess can often be seen with her old antique camera, taking candids or scenic pictures in the mountains, although she rarely shows her work to anyone else. Tonight, though, she has hung up a variety of her black-and-white photos around the camp for the art fair -- some of the candids are even of outsiders, and Sonia's aim seems to be catching everyone in their warmest, happiest moment. There's no sense of tragedy or despair in her work.

She's encouraged as many of the soldiers and outsiders to contribute anything in the way of art -- stories, songs, performance, or craft, she invites it all. A few soldiers make a surprisingly harmonic little chorus, and some visiting villagers give engaging tellings of Barrayaran legends. Lakshmi shows off some of her embroidery, and Beth and Tucker both bring a little singing to the table, although the majority of Barrayarans probably aren't going to appreciate a cappella Queen. Daryl shoots a mouse and either fails to understand art entirely or transcends to a brand new plane of artistic enlightenment. Also, please don't let Tucker pose nude for you.

It winds up doing some good for morale -- giving the soldiers some other context to focus on besides the war, something of an escape, or a reminder of what they're fighting for and what they long to live to see again. And for the first time, Sonia doesn't feel quite so useless.

missions
The medical assistance provided by the outsiders doesn't go unappreciated, nor without effect. Not every day is a success, but at least they manage to keep the mortality rate from climbing too high.

The medical raids are a near-unmitigated disaster, with every single raiding party running afoul of Cetagandan guards and losing some of their bounty on the way out. They only manage to make away with supplies/topicals/OTC analgesics for 40% of the population, vaccine for 20% of the population, and antibiotics for 35% of the population.

The race to Micah's location in Vorkosigan Vashnoi is a frantic one, but despite the outsiders' efforts as well as Natasha, Byerly and Kaidan's efforts to slow down the Cetagandans, the Cetagandans get to Doctor Micah Niadem first.

Here are the unabridged mission results.

cetaganda
Piotr's attempt at psychological warfare was a total success: Zahal is furious over the severed body parts of his own soldiers discovered around the camp, and even more so over the wholly unintentional but devastating biowarfare that comes with it. That part has Piotr rather tickled.

With full intel on Micah's location in hand, Zahal sends as many able-bodied squads to Vorkosigan Vashnoi as he can, including several exotics. Natasha, Kaidan and Byerly work covertly to try and slow the operation down, but ultimately, the Cetagandans still reach Micah first and bring them back to base -- taking proper precaution to vaccinate them before bringing them in, of course. It wouldn't do for their newest and very valuable asset to suddenly die of some backwater plague.

The Cetagandan base is still pretty thin on the personnel front, but they're managing to continue operations as normal. The announcement of the visit from the Handmaiden of the Star Crèche has every able-bodied person on base in a frenzy as they try to prepare and make the base suitable for receiving her. This is clearly an occasion of great honor as well as face -- if she were improperly received, ghem-General Zahal and Lady Diya would surely suffer for it.

plague
The plague reaches its apex in the Cetagandan base, but with Ratchet and Natasha's help, they were able to synthesize a vaccine for the flu. The quarantine isn't airtight, so there's still risk of infection, and they have to make sure those distributing the vaccine aren't at risk of spreading the infection. Overall, they're able to inoculate about 80% of the uninfected population.

Amai makes a full recovery, despite being dramatically (albeit not entirely unrealistically) convinced she was on death's door every second.

By the end of the month, the Barrayaran flu has about a 30% mortality rate on the Cetagandan base, resulting in about 3000 influenza-related deaths.

base
The quarantine remains in effect until nearly the end of the month, but finally, once the epidemic has died down and the Handmaiden has been vaccinated, Haut Sei Navarr arrives. The base hurriedly puts together a formal reception for her on the 30th, and rather than another party, it is just that -- a clearly ritualized receiving of her presence, so rarely seen beyond Eta Ceta, let alone the rest of the Empire.

The reception for Haut Sei is exceedingly formal, and unlike the relatively lighter air of the party last month, inappropriate behavior is going to be much less generously tolerated here. The exotics are not required to attend, but if they do, it'll be about a four-hour reception with a clear ritual protocol that will nonetheless seem very obtuse to outside viewers. Diya is prominent in the reception, being the only other haut on base, and is in fact the only one truly suited to receive her -- although, unlike Diya, Haut Sei does not appear in public unmasked. As is the custom of haut ladies still in their constellations, Haut Sei travels in a float chair encased in an opaque force bubble -- she can see out, but no one can see in. She brings with her a small entourage of servitors known as the ba, who serve not only as testing grounds for new genetic combinations, but are also genetically engineered for loyalty and service. Ba are not clones -- each ba is a work of art unto itself, each carefully created, and while they are not quite so fey in their beauty, the aesthetic effort is undeniable. All of the ba with Haut Sei are curiously hairless, which seems to be a popular trend in their design among the haut these days.

Meanwhile on the scientific end, the Cetagandans are delving deeper into what is officially referred to as the Star Gate Project. They're working with Satya to build a hard-light mapping device, but in the meantime, they have laid out the most crucial parts needed to build it: high-precision electromagnetic bearings to hold up the Necklin rods and spin them by a magnetic field for reduced friction; high-quality seals and pumps to create the necessary vacuum required for precise jump-plotting; something generating EM shielding to prevent interference, a problem unique to creating a Necklin field of this size and in this environment; and high-precision controls and controls software based on those used in existing jump ships, modifications for which are underway. And, of course, the Necklin rods themselves, which they have yet to figure out a way to fabricate.

And now that Micah is on base, the Cetagandans can finally put them to work in the wormhole lab on some of those elusive five-space math problems.

They're still developing their theory of neural netting and how a Necklin field might directly interact with the human brain without a jump implant. Based on their research so far, this may not actually be much of a problem, but there's another factor they have yet to work out: how to key the Star Gate to an exotics' own home universe. The Cetagandan neurologists have a few theories that they're working with Deanna and Natasha on.

missions
With help from the exotics, they're able to vaccinate 80% of the base's uninfected population. Satya and Pearl, despite their hard efforts, have yet to finish the hard-light mapping device by the end of the month.

A few exotics learn a bit more about Sei and Diya's history, as well as Diya and Amai's plans for covering up their less than authorized experiments. It also comes to light that the haut are planning to open gene therapy trials for any exotics who experienced power loss.

The race to Micah's location in Vorkosigan Vashnoi is a frantic one, but despite the outsiders' efforts as well as Natasha, Byerly and Kaidan's efforts to slow down the Cetagandans, the Cetagandans get to Doctor Micah Niadem first.

Here are the unabridged mission results.

Note: Negri, Amai, Zahal, and Olivia are available for threads by request only. Please hit up Madi (Negri & Amai) or Ammay (Zahal & Olivia) respectively for you want threads with either of those NPCs. You can also request a thread with Village Speaker Yakiv Gura if you want, in which case hit up Madi.

Comments

Lavernius Tucker | Barrayar

[lovernotafighter]

A. [Art Fair]

[The Art Scene was never Tucker's natural place; it was too uptight for him, and unless there was some nude paintings involved, he wasn't exactly interested. He never understood the rules for what made an appropriate piece of art, the lines and measurements and moods that things spoke. One time, his high school class had gone to a museum and there had been an all white canvas; the curator spoke for ten fucking minutes on how poignant it was and how it was worth six hundred thousand dollars.

Tucker just saw it as the biggest scam in history.

But cool, whatever. It was a little easier to get him roped into this when Sonia told him about this art show, something he surprisingly didn't complain about at all. He liked her pictures, saw how happy this whole thing made her, and found that it made him happy, too. So he spent a couple days leading up to it by offering to be a nude model for anyone wanted to do paintings or sculptures or photography, as long as they promised not to pull a Statue of David on him. Come on, be generous. You sure you have enough paint to do it?

And then the day of, he waited until closer in the evening beneath some of the pictures, and cleared his throat. ] So, I hope you've all at least heard of Queen, because otherwise you're about to have your mind blown by the sheer awesomeness of everything musical.

[He smiled, grabbing a metal bucket he "borrowed", emptied out, flipped over, and started the rather the rather distinct little drum beat with a few sticks he managed to find. Tucker's voice wasn't bad, and hey, look, there's something he took mildly seriously. Impressive in its own right.]


B. [Pre-Date - Around Camp]

[Look, okay, for all of his talk, Tucker wasn't exactly prepared for a date here, where one of the best assets was sitting in a freaking cave while playing chess, a game where the only thing he knew was that nerds like Simmons loved it. It was easy to talk about going out with Sonia when she was sick and he wanted her to smile; it was a little harder now that he was trying to plan it. There were no movie theaters to fake yawn and stretch his arm over, no good restaurants to eat at. This? This was all on him.

Shit.

So, Tucker was wandering around camp, slipping in and out of the mess tent looking for food, hoping to find yeast and freeze dried tomatoes if possible, looking for anything good. He could use massive amounts of help suggestions, really. And if anyone wanted to act out this scene of Reservoir Dogs that he wrote down from memory, even better.

Be a pal. Please. ]


C. [Med Tent]

[He had done his time as a helper earlier (surprisingly without killing anyone), and while he didn't need to do it again, he still wanted to walk through and visit those he knew, and those he didn't. This? This kept him grounded, reminded him of what they were fighting for, of a better life that was so desperately needed. It brought back the things that Symmetra told him in the shadows of the village, and while talking to Wash had helped so much, it didn't get rid of all the doubt.

So he wandered among the beds, bringing some water to those that could have it. Sometimes he wondered how the hell he didn't get sick, but dude, he wasn't complaining; probably Chosen One shit. He knew when to shut his mouth.]


D. [Village]

[Tucker's breath plumed up from his mouth in the cold, a wafting opaque curl of steam. He wasn't even sure what he was waiting for, if he thought she would really show up again or not, if he thought there would be any answers or not. The undercurrent of What if it's not her this time pounded in his head, and he tried not to imagine what would happen if the wrong person came, if it wasn't Symmetra this time, someone who knew who the fuck he was and still just talked to him.

He wondered if Wash would be mad he was still trying to see her.

Ugh, whatever. He rubbed his hands together, glad that the weather was easing a little but anything under a balmy seventy degrees still sucked. He walked through the village, trying to find something, someone to pass the time, familiar or not.]


E. [Wildcard]

D

[symmetricks]

[ There's no more research to be had, so to speak. Her work is focused now entirely on finding a way to complete the hard-light fabricator for the parts for the wormhole. But eventually, she needs to walk away from the project and find her center again.

She needs to remember why she is doing this.

As a result, she bundles up in non-descript clothes and takes a trip to the village of Riverfall, though there's more than one reason for her break to this particular location. She did say she would return, and she means to prove to Tucker that she is absolutely a woman of her word.

How else is he expected to believe her when she lays the truth of the matter out before him? ]

[lovernotafighter]

[Although Tucker may never say it, he appreciated her word.

Slipping off to the place where he stumbled upon Symmetra the first time, a conflicted smile found the edge of his lips. Sure, he was happy to see her (he'd be a fool not to be; she was hot as hell and eye candy like that didn't come around just every day), but with her came the conflicts, the questions, the hesitation.

And, worst of all, she had been right. The body parts-- Fuck, he didn't even want to admit it, not to her, not to himself because it tarnished the things he thought he was doing. Sure, the talk with Wash helped, but...he wasn't sure if it was enough. He wasn't sure anything was.

He slid his hands into his pockets and he made his way over over.] Miss me, baby? Knew you couldn't stay away for long. [Regardless of the fact that they already agreed to see each other again, but details just got in the way of things.]

Surprised I showed up?

[symmetricks]

[ Of course, he receives nothing but a scowl at the initial greeting. That's one way to make her consider heading back right then and there. ]

You asked me to return, and I agreed that I would. It was not a matter of missing you at all.

[ Of course, Tucker was just behaving in the way that made him feel most comfortable and at ease, without real intent, but...she'd always taken things a little too seriously, hadn't she? ]

No, I am not. And I trust I won't be surprised by what you learned, either.

[lovernotafighter]

[Oh, dude, that’s just meeean. She’s as cold as the snow in the mountains, and he couldn’t help but make a face, less wounded or offended and more scowly. Sure, he had been half-expecting it, but that didn’t make it any less ruthless.

But that’s not really why they were here, not with the hint of what she was saying dripping from her lips. Fuck, right to the good news, right? His eyes flickered away, glancing at anything, anyone other than her because admitting it just sucked something awful. The words themselves tasted bitter, but the underneath….]

You were right. [There, quick like the rip of a bandaid from the skin. ] They chucked those body parts at your place, and they’re the reason you’re sick. [But it’s war, right?

That doesn’t make it okay, though.]

The shit to get us home… [And fuck it, why dance around the subject any longer than he had to? They all had their own questions now.] …they’re going to use that shit to hit all our different worlds, aren’t they? They’re going to come in and just claim them all.

[symmetricks]

What?

[ No. That can't be right. But the moment he says it, she wonders. The Cetagandans mean to expand their influence everywhere, that much was clear. Barrayar was a backwater in need of their advancements and civilization, but...

This is obviously something she hadn't considered, and she goes very still. But she composes herself readily enough, after a moment's thought. ]

...the effort required to maintain an empire so far flung from their own would not be feasible. Not so many, so far away. And there's still the matter of incompatible technologies, magics, life forms that shifted when passing through the worm hole. To send their own people through without the means of withstanding those worlds? It would be too great a risk. If anything, this sickness proves that much.

[lovernotafighter]

[She hadn’t thought about it either, had she? Just like he hadn’t comprehended the entire ramifications until his talk with Wash. And shit, it didn’t seem like it was too well liked considering her subtle reaction, and finally there was a bit of leverage. Not that it was anything needed, anything liked, as if it would bring him any peace…

He turned to face her a little more, arms crossing over his chest.] Okay, yeah, let’s say that’s true and not, like, something we’re hoping for. I mean, wouldn’t this place be considered too much effort? This is pretty far away and it’s pretty freaking ancient considering what you guys have. Why is this worth the effort?

[His eyes narrowed a little. Chorus. He wouldn’t let anyone touch Chorus, not after everything he and all those kids, his friends, Kimball had been through. Fuck that.]

But hey, let’s say it’s not too much effort and it’s something that they can toootally accomplish. You’d probably be pretty happy if they went to your world and took it over, right? Considering it’d mean the end of war and arts and glitter ad whatever else they got over there, that’s got to be right up with what you want. That is why you’re helping them, right? Because you believe in what they’re doing and you’d want it for your home, too?

[Oh, no, he’s not smiling at all.]

[symmetricks]

[ The thing is, putting herself in someone else's shoes has always been difficult. She can only see through her eyes, her own spectrum, and what is right in front of her has always taken priority. Disabled in some ways, it had strengthened her in others. No one could do what she could do, as a result.

But now, the short-comings are becoming clearer. ]

My world is full of chaos and conflict as it is. Were we ready to receive such generosity I would not be concerned, but as they are now...

[ It could be something beautiful. She does appreciate the art the Cetagandans make of everything, even the cultivation of life. But not all would see it that way. They would fight, as they did in Rio de Janeiro. They would die.

And I would be responsible for opening that path. It's a chilling thought. ]

[lovernotafighter]

Look, so is mine. [Chorus. Not his planet, but it felt like his now. He had bled enough into its soil, lost enough men, lost friends, lost Church for this stupid place. And after Charon was gone, well, the seasons weren’t bad and it might not be a bad place to raise a son…

But it was his now, as much as it was Kimball’s or Bitters or Jensen or, ugh, even Palomo. It was home, and he wasn’t sure if the guys agreed, but he would defend it always, mostly so those teenagers didn’t have to.]

But we’re fighting so it doesn’t have to happen again after this. So people don’t have to die. You know that none of those places just give up their home willingly; shit, if someone came into my house and just took it over, I wouldn’t go without a fight. Why would the Cetagandans need to come over with that many resources unless they came for war?

[He sighed, shaking his head.] I love my kid more than anything, more than I love myself. I want my son to have the safest and best life he can, you know? And…that means keeping him away from any more bullshit war that doesn’t need to happen, even if it’s just one goddamn battle.

hahahaha b

[protocol]

[ Whatever Tucker's doing wandering around camp, he's certainly looking more distressed than usual, and Wash might typically let that be -- but he's curious, has some time on his hands, and Tucker's been mostly good with sticking to the training that Wash has assigned him. Whatever he's having trouble with, Wash can probably help out with it.

He watches him move in and out of the mess tent for a while before he walks up to him, hands in the pockets of his coat, raising an eyebrow. ]

Did you lose something? [ What're you up to. ]

Oh, come on, Casanova Wash.

[lovernotafighter]

[It's the fifth - sixth? - time in and out of the mess, each time quicker and more frustrating. Originally, he planned on trying to just have everyone clear out of the place so he and Sonia could have it to themselves, but that logistical nightmare wasn't worth it so why not change the venue to her tent? You know, barring that they could get rid of the guards for awhile, because it didn't get more mood-killery than chaperones. And besides, a place to themselves that wasn't a cave and had a bed and--

Yeah. Yeah.

He hadn't thought anyone was watching, but Wash had a way of surprising him. Tucker looked over, caught dead to rights, shoulders rolling a little. ] Dude, I've lost a lot of things: electricity, heat, a working kitchen that I could make real food in, all which would be really fucking helpful right now.

[Was it so wrong to try to make pizza? He had talked to her about it, and--]

It's kinda hard to have a date over MREs, you know?

[Yeah, he just used a different "D" word for once.]

[protocol]

[ Electricity, heat, well that's things they all miss, but as with most things when it comes to Tucker, Wash just waits until he circles around to the actual point. And he isn't sure what he's expecting, but. That wasn't it. ]

-- A date? [ Maybe a little bewildered. This is not. Okay you need to go ask someone else for help now. ]

[lovernotafighter]

Yeah, dude, a date. What the hell? [He stopped moving, walking, everything, long enough to give Wash a minorly-offended look.] No reason to sound so surprised; I've had dates before, asshole. Tons of dates. [Which was a bold-face lied; when the hell did he have time? Who the hell did he even have?

But...this was a little different.] Look, Sonia's never been on one so... you know...I thought I'd take her on a date. I mean, it's shitty here, right? There's nowhere to actually go and the food sucks, but I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.

[protocol]

[ Look it's not that he doubts Tucker's general ability to get a date, which, for the record, he does. It's just that they're in the middle of a war camp. In the middle of a war. Dating is pretty much the absolutely last thing on Wash's mind, and when he'd decided to try and figure out what the hell Tucker was doing, it wasn't something he expected.

The mention of Sonia's name surprises him, and instinctively he wants to say something, but -- she'd liked him, hadn't she? And if she likes spending time with him, well. She could do with a little levity in her life. Even if that levity is, apparently, Tucker. ]

I'm -- sure she'll appreciate. Whatever you think of. [ ??? This is a little out of his wheelhouse. ]

[lovernotafighter]

[What better time was there to do a date than in the middle of a war?

...Okay, so probably literally any of time, but whatever; this was all they had, all they would ever really have with the way things were going, and it was better this than the emotional vomit that had happened before. In these few hours, he wasn't thinking about the complex bullshit of who was right, who was wrong, and how dangerous it was to go home.

He was literally just thinking about Sonia. Well, and how the fuck he was going to impress her with the shit he had lying around. ]

Dude, of course she will appreciate it because she's going to be so focused on how fucking awesome I am. But...I don't know. It's her first one, and I just want to make it memorable. And maybe grease the wheels for second base.

[And his eyes widened a little.] Hey, have you ever seen Reservoir Dogs?

[protocol]

[ You and your fucking Resevoir Dogs, Tucker, he likes that movie and all but he's not even going to answer that right now. Wash grimaces a little, he really didn't need to hear about greasing those wheels, but he does have more than a soft spot for Sonia, and he seems to make her happy. For whatever reason.

Her first date, too? God, that shouldn't surprise him as much as it does. Growing up in the middle of a war this brutal . . . ]

Do you really think she's expecting a dinner and a movie? [ Look Sonia is a princess but she registers much more on the practical side of things than spoiled, and who the hell is going to expect a movie date in a war camp. Do the Barrayarans even have movies? ] Just -- relax, Tucker. What're you even looking for?

[lovernotafighter]

[Oh, there were a lot of reasons, Wash, and only two of them involved those glorious calves.

But really, Tucker had been strangely...good to her. Careful. Held her hand and just kissed her and nothing else, as long as one didn't count the endlessly bad pickup lines. And for some reason, they made each other laugh, they could sit and vent and yell and talk and trust. It shouldn't have happened in a war but--

But. ]

Well, probably not but...I mean, I sorta brought it up and offered, so now I'm stuck. I've got to deliver. [Yeah, and Wash, he noticed that you didn't say yes or no on that movie question; he's keeping it in his back pocket.] I'm trying to find shit to make the closest thing to a pizza this place has. Dude, dates are fucking hard here.

e, post-medical raid

[protocol]

[ Wash'd known exactly what must've happened when they were getting out of the base and Tucker and Miles had arrived a later than everyone else, Tucker looking exhausted and Miles looking almost desperately unwell. He'd immediately looked between them, from Miles to Tucker and back again, and Tucker as irritated as he seemed didn't seem to be inclined to start yelling about anything anytime soon. Good enough, and on the way back to camp Wash is mostly focused on helping Lucy ( god, she'd gotten shot in his watch, everything about this mission had gone badly ) walk back, on watching Miles out of the corner of his eye to get a read on how he actually is.

Once they're back, he takes Lucy straight to the med tent, makes sure there's space for her, that there's a medic that can tend to her. And Miles, he'll check on him later, because then it's straight to Tucker, wherever he is, tapping him sharply on the shoulder. ]

With me, Tucker. [ An order. No buts about it, just a sharp jerk of his head before he starts to walk, expecting Tucker to do as he's told, no matter how unwillingly. And when they're mostly at the edge of the camp, when it's a little quieter, he starts; ] Tell me what happened.

[lovernotafighter]

[This wasn't a request, and while all Tucker wanted to do was fall face first on his stupid cot and sleep for at least a half day, he was getting that ripped away, too. A long-suffering sigh painted his lips along with a huff, but he followed after him on legs that felt like noodles until they were out of earshot of most people. This was Wash in full CO mode. There was no arguing or saying later.

Tucker hated it when he got like that.]

The mission went south, but we got out. It's fine. [Brush it off like it wasn't anything, like they weren't almost caught, like he didn't watch a guy seize on the med room floor, like he didn't carry him out and probably save him from being caught--] I mean, we pretty much sucked so I guess that's not really fine, but we weren't caught and we didn't die, so...eh?

[The Cliff Notes version, vague and lost to it, but he didn't know what to say. The shit Miles had told him out on the mission made him want to shut up about everything, even to Wash, which felt sixteen shades of weird and wrong. He couldn't keep it for long, not against him, but fuck if he wasn't trying. A for effort or something.

Time for deflection.] What happened on your mission? She didn't look so hot.

[protocol]

[ Good job, Tucker, you passed the test. Wash doesn't have to yell at you now. He's still going to drag it out of you, though, but he will answer your question, his expression grim. Clearly not pleased with himself. ]

Plasma burn in the thigh. We got caught by patrols on the way out -- she wanted to stay behind to help someone, I covered her. Only made it out with a fraction of what we got, too. [ She was civilian. If he wasn't going to force her to take orders and come along with him and not help that damned sick soldier, he should have at least been able to watch her six closely enough that she should've have gotten hit. Breathe in, breathe out. Nothing for it, now. ] I don't know how well we can treat a plasma burn, but I made sure the medics knew that they were dealing with.

[ Back on track, though. ]

What happened with Miles?

[lovernotafighter]

[Everyone just did a great job, didn’t they? His brow furrowed a little as he looked away, wondering why this mission set sucked so bad this time around. Was it their fault? Was the other side just getting better? Were they going to have to work harder at these?

…he hoped not.

But Wash was asking him again, and dude, someone was persistent, weren’t they? Tucker looked back to him, his shoulders rolling, and damn he was bad at lying.]

He got sick. I carried him out. [It wasn’t exactly a lie, was it? Not…really. But the agitation over the whole thing was thick in his voice, the frustration over being kept out of the loop when they were supposed to have each other’s backs. Dammit.] Dude, it’s not a big deal; we’re back, we’re alive and it sucked. Why do you care so much?

[protocol]

Illyan is a friend.

[ He made a friend, Tucker! But of course, that's not why he's pressing, here. It's unlikely that anyone is going to be questioning Tucker too closely about this mission in specific, but if it happens, if anyone else catches wind of anything and decides to ask Tucker about it, these are the questions he's going to have to face. He wants a measure of how well you're going to do against it -- he won't lie to Miles about how much he has to worry about. If it is viable that you'd cave and tell someone if they dug enough, he'll have to tell Miles that, too.

Wash folds his arms over his chest, drums his fingers against his arm. ]

You don't want me to actually make you write out your mission reports, do you? [ Because he goddamn will. Give him a proper report, soldier. ] He got sick?

[lovernotafighter]

[Fuck, Wash, that’s cold. Really cold. Tucker rolled his eyes, slightly surprised that Wash called anyone a friend; that number probably could be counted on one hand, possibly one finger. Hell, sometimes Tucker wasn’t even sure he was on the list, depending on what he had gotten up to that morning, but things had a way of surprising him.

He warred with the secret for a few seconds, before his shoulders fell and he just gave up; he was too tired to fight against Wash of all people, the one person here he trusted above all others. He had shown him rashes, for God’s sake, had gone to him with his worries, his fears, with the weight of leadership on his back.

…And he really didn’t want to write out mission reports.]

Fucker had a seizure. Right there, in the med room, just dropped down and it felt like forever. [The palm of his hand ran over his hair.] There was no way he was getting out of there on his own, so I gave him a piggyback ride right the fuck out of there.

[protocol]

[ Of course you're on that list, Tucker. He'd do a lot for you. It's just that being his friend doesn't really mean he doesn't keep secrets from you. Sorry about that. It's for your own good? He'd hoped you would hold out longer than that, but given the threat of mission reports and that this is him you're talking to, that you held out at all gets you some points.

Wash can see how Tucker struggles with it for a few moments before he gives in, and his eyes are hard as he watches him, as he takes in that information -- and he sighs, the tension in his own shoulders easing. ]

You're going to have to do better than that if anyone else asks you. [ Note how completely unsurprised he clearly is at the news of Miles having a seizure. Sorry, Tucker. ] Thanks for getting him out of there, though.

How long did it last? [ Because of course he's going to be more concerned with those details than he is about telling you the circumstances of the secret, sorry, Tucker, but there are things and protocols one adheres to when dealing with someone who's seizing okay. He's had that training. ] What did you do?

[lovernotafighter]

[It’s not the lack of surprise that gets Tucker; it’s what he says. It’s the insinuation that he knows it’s a secret that needed to be protected, sheltered, kept from anyone else. It’s that he didn’t trust Tucker, after everything. Wash knew.

Wash. Fucking. Knew.

The other follow up questions were forgotten, because screw that, Dr. Freelancer, go check on the patient yourself. Tucker would worry about them later, when he wasn’t wrapped up in a rage so tight that it made his hands curl into fists at his sides. Tucker was, as always, a billboard projection of what he was feeling, from the wideness of his eyes to the way his mouth opened, shut, opened, then shut once more with his jaw tightened.

Wash always had secrets, and whatever, he let most of them lie. But this…?]

You fucking knew and you didn’t warn me that this shit could happen?! What the eff, Wash?! We could’ve fucking died! Shit, I still don’t know how we didn’t!

[There was a step back before he turned on his heel and started to pace, because no. Fucking no.]

Why?!