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forbarrayar2017-03-18 02:15 pm
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[ march ii log: ageless beauty ]
Who: Everyone!
What: The skies finally lighten, and so do spirits, but there are still quiet machinations in the dark. The good doctor's fate is finally decided.
When: March 18th - 31st
Where: Barrayaran camp, Cetagandan base & Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD
Quick links:
Riverfall
Barrayar: Plague / Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Plague / Base / Missions
First: Special thanks and credit to Vee (
veelynn) for lending us her beautiful photography for this event!
TIMELINE
3/19 Art Fair
3/20 York & Ratchet's arrival to the Barrayaran camp
3/22 Raid: Medical Supplies
3/26 Haut Sei's arrival, Eavesdropping Eta
3/27 Eavesdropping Sigma
3/27 - 3/28 Rat Race
3/29 Official reception for Haut Sei
3/30 Mystery Plot
One thing can be said for the month of March: at least the weather's gotten better. By mid-month, while the piled-up snow is slow to melt, the temperatures have now risen to just freezing rather than well below freezing. It's still a pretty cold March, but by this point, anything close to freezing feels like a balmy spring, and they have a nice string of sunny days for the rest of the month.
riverfall
Although their numbers have been thinned by the flu epidemic, Cetagandan patrols still pass regularly through the village, allowing those spying for the Cetagandans to pass along information via dead drop.
Riverfall was hit just as hard by the epidemic as the camp, and by the end of the month, the village houses no more than sixty people. The aid from the outsiders and soldiers in caring for and treating the sick goes a long way, but by the end, there are still a lot of bodies to bury and souls to burn death offerings for. There's an overall somber cast to the village despite the brightening weather.
barrayar
The Barrayarans haven't been hit as dramatically as the Cetagandans, but their numbers are much fewer, and patrols are still thin. Anyone healthy enough is being asked to pull double shifts, stretching their resources where they can, but at least the food situation is improving considerably thanks to both Xav's relief supplies and the lightening weather.
Once seeing both his daughters recover from the flu, Prince Xav leaves camp on the 19th to rendezvous with his transport back to Vorbarr Sultana so he can make another risky attempt at getting off-planet and back through the wormhole blockade. Ezar, as Piotr's aide-de-camp, sticks around -- and so does Negri, of course.
Knowing that it would be safer (if less comfortable) and possibly more useful for the Barrayarans to rendezvous with Micah rather than try to get them back off-planet, Xav leaves Doctor Niadem's fate in Barrayaran hands…and not to great result. Now that the Cetagandans have Micah, Piotr and his general staff -- and anyone in-the-know enough about the situation to provide any advisement -- are still debating what to do about Micah and the wormhole device. They could either try to rescue Micah to their side…or leave them in Cetagandan hands and hope to make contact via one of their informants.
This makes cultivating informants on the Cetagandan side an even higher priority, and if anyone has any ties to outsiders on the other side, personal or otherwise, Piotr wants to hear about it. Any intelligence about the Star Gate Project is vital.
plague
The ill in the camp and Riverfall are recovering, slowly, but the flu is still spreading, reaching its apex, and people are still getting sick. Even as the weather clears up, it's still damp, and many of the sick are falling to pneumonia, a near-certain death without antibiotics. They've already exhausted the medical supplies Xav and Ezar brought with them, and the medical raids went poorly -- only resulting in enough antibiotics for about 20% of the village and camp's combined population.
By the end of the month, though, the Barrayarans are finally beginning to pull through. The camp and village start to recover, with the mortalities over the month total to 58 influenza-related deaths. It's time to bury the death, burn a death offering, and keep on moving on.
camp
Both Olivia and Sonia have recovered from their bouts with the flu, more or less intact despite Olivia's very touch-and-go health for a while. Now Sonia's repaying everyone's visits to her by tending to the sick and helping out where she can. And as the weather warms up and people start to recover, the line for the bath tent starts getting longer…it's still pretty cold, but after lying around in the sickbay tent for a while, few people are going to complain for the chance to wash.
Morale is still buckling, so amidst all the doom and gloom, Sonia decides to try and bring a little levity to the camp by hosting a makeshift little art show on the 19th. The Princess can often be seen with her old antique camera, taking candids or scenic pictures in the mountains, although she rarely shows her work to anyone else. Tonight, though, she has hung up a variety of her black-and-white photos around the camp for the art fair -- some of the candids are even of outsiders, and Sonia's aim seems to be catching everyone in their warmest, happiest moment. There's no sense of tragedy or despair in her work.
She's encouraged as many of the soldiers and outsiders to contribute anything in the way of art -- stories, songs, performance, or craft, she invites it all. A few soldiers make a surprisingly harmonic little chorus, and some visiting villagers give engaging tellings of Barrayaran legends. Lakshmi shows off some of her embroidery, and Beth and Tucker both bring a little singing to the table, although the majority of Barrayarans probably aren't going to appreciate a cappella Queen. Daryl shoots a mouse and either fails to understand art entirely or transcends to a brand new plane of artistic enlightenment. Also, please don't let Tucker pose nude for you.
It winds up doing some good for morale -- giving the soldiers some other context to focus on besides the war, something of an escape, or a reminder of what they're fighting for and what they long to live to see again. And for the first time, Sonia doesn't feel quite so useless.
missions
The medical assistance provided by the outsiders doesn't go unappreciated, nor without effect. Not every day is a success, but at least they manage to keep the mortality rate from climbing too high.
The medical raids are a near-unmitigated disaster, with every single raiding party running afoul of Cetagandan guards and losing some of their bounty on the way out. They only manage to make away with supplies/topicals/OTC analgesics for 40% of the population, vaccine for 20% of the population, and antibiotics for 35% of the population.
The race to Micah's location in Vorkosigan Vashnoi is a frantic one, but despite the outsiders' efforts as well as Natasha, Byerly and Kaidan's efforts to slow down the Cetagandans, the Cetagandans get to Doctor Micah Niadem first.
Here are the unabridged mission results.
cetaganda
Piotr's attempt at psychological warfare was a total success: Zahal is furious over the severed body parts of his own soldiers discovered around the camp, and even more so over the wholly unintentional but devastating biowarfare that comes with it. That part has Piotr rather tickled.
With full intel on Micah's location in hand, Zahal sends as many able-bodied squads to Vorkosigan Vashnoi as he can, including several exotics. Natasha, Kaidan and Byerly work covertly to try and slow the operation down, but ultimately, the Cetagandans still reach Micah first and bring them back to base -- taking proper precaution to vaccinate them before bringing them in, of course. It wouldn't do for their newest and very valuable asset to suddenly die of some backwater plague.
The Cetagandan base is still pretty thin on the personnel front, but they're managing to continue operations as normal. The announcement of the visit from the Handmaiden of the Star Crèche has every able-bodied person on base in a frenzy as they try to prepare and make the base suitable for receiving her. This is clearly an occasion of great honor as well as face -- if she were improperly received, ghem-General Zahal and Lady Diya would surely suffer for it.
plague
The plague reaches its apex in the Cetagandan base, but with Ratchet and Natasha's help, they were able to synthesize a vaccine for the flu. The quarantine isn't airtight, so there's still risk of infection, and they have to make sure those distributing the vaccine aren't at risk of spreading the infection. Overall, they're able to inoculate about 80% of the uninfected population.
Amai makes a full recovery, despite being dramatically (albeit not entirely unrealistically) convinced she was on death's door every second.
By the end of the month, the Barrayaran flu has about a 30% mortality rate on the Cetagandan base, resulting in about 3000 influenza-related deaths.
base
The quarantine remains in effect until nearly the end of the month, but finally, once the epidemic has died down and the Handmaiden has been vaccinated, Haut Sei Navarr arrives. The base hurriedly puts together a formal reception for her on the 30th, and rather than another party, it is just that -- a clearly ritualized receiving of her presence, so rarely seen beyond Eta Ceta, let alone the rest of the Empire.
The reception for Haut Sei is exceedingly formal, and unlike the relatively lighter air of the party last month, inappropriate behavior is going to be much less generously tolerated here. The exotics are not required to attend, but if they do, it'll be about a four-hour reception with a clear ritual protocol that will nonetheless seem very obtuse to outside viewers. Diya is prominent in the reception, being the only other haut on base, and is in fact the only one truly suited to receive her -- although, unlike Diya, Haut Sei does not appear in public unmasked. As is the custom of haut ladies still in their constellations, Haut Sei travels in a float chair encased in an opaque force bubble -- she can see out, but no one can see in. She brings with her a small entourage of servitors known as the ba, who serve not only as testing grounds for new genetic combinations, but are also genetically engineered for loyalty and service. Ba are not clones -- each ba is a work of art unto itself, each carefully created, and while they are not quite so fey in their beauty, the aesthetic effort is undeniable. All of the ba with Haut Sei are curiously hairless, which seems to be a popular trend in their design among the haut these days.
Meanwhile on the scientific end, the Cetagandans are delving deeper into what is officially referred to as the Star Gate Project. They're working with Satya to build a hard-light mapping device, but in the meantime, they have laid out the most crucial parts needed to build it: high-precision electromagnetic bearings to hold up the Necklin rods and spin them by a magnetic field for reduced friction; high-quality seals and pumps to create the necessary vacuum required for precise jump-plotting; something generating EM shielding to prevent interference, a problem unique to creating a Necklin field of this size and in this environment; and high-precision controls and controls software based on those used in existing jump ships, modifications for which are underway. And, of course, the Necklin rods themselves, which they have yet to figure out a way to fabricate.
And now that Micah is on base, the Cetagandans can finally put them to work in the wormhole lab on some of those elusive five-space math problems.
They're still developing their theory of neural netting and how a Necklin field might directly interact with the human brain without a jump implant. Based on their research so far, this may not actually be much of a problem, but there's another factor they have yet to work out: how to key the Star Gate to an exotics' own home universe. The Cetagandan neurologists have a few theories that they're working with Deanna and Natasha on.
missions
With help from the exotics, they're able to vaccinate 80% of the base's uninfected population. Satya and Pearl, despite their hard efforts, have yet to finish the hard-light mapping device by the end of the month.
A few exotics learn a bit more about Sei and Diya's history, as well as Diya and Amai's plans for covering up their less than authorized experiments. It also comes to light that the haut are planning to open gene therapy trials for any exotics who experienced power loss.
The race to Micah's location in Vorkosigan Vashnoi is a frantic one, but despite the outsiders' efforts as well as Natasha, Byerly and Kaidan's efforts to slow down the Cetagandans, the Cetagandans get to Doctor Micah Niadem first.
Here are the unabridged mission results.
Note: Negri, Amai, Zahal, and Olivia are available for threads by request only. Please hit up Madi (Negri & Amai) or Ammay (Zahal & Olivia) respectively for you want threads with either of those NPCs. You can also request a thread with Village Speaker Yakiv Gura if you want, in which case hit up Madi.
What: The skies finally lighten, and so do spirits, but there are still quiet machinations in the dark. The good doctor's fate is finally decided.
When: March 18th - 31st
Where: Barrayaran camp, Cetagandan base & Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD
Riverfall
Barrayar: Plague / Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Plague / Base / Missions
First: Special thanks and credit to Vee (
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
TIMELINE
3/19 Art Fair
3/20 York & Ratchet's arrival to the Barrayaran camp
3/22 Raid: Medical Supplies
3/26 Haut Sei's arrival, Eavesdropping Eta
3/27 Eavesdropping Sigma
3/27 - 3/28 Rat Race
3/29 Official reception for Haut Sei
3/30 Mystery Plot
One thing can be said for the month of March: at least the weather's gotten better. By mid-month, while the piled-up snow is slow to melt, the temperatures have now risen to just freezing rather than well below freezing. It's still a pretty cold March, but by this point, anything close to freezing feels like a balmy spring, and they have a nice string of sunny days for the rest of the month.
riverfall
Although their numbers have been thinned by the flu epidemic, Cetagandan patrols still pass regularly through the village, allowing those spying for the Cetagandans to pass along information via dead drop.
Riverfall was hit just as hard by the epidemic as the camp, and by the end of the month, the village houses no more than sixty people. The aid from the outsiders and soldiers in caring for and treating the sick goes a long way, but by the end, there are still a lot of bodies to bury and souls to burn death offerings for. There's an overall somber cast to the village despite the brightening weather.
barrayar
The Barrayarans haven't been hit as dramatically as the Cetagandans, but their numbers are much fewer, and patrols are still thin. Anyone healthy enough is being asked to pull double shifts, stretching their resources where they can, but at least the food situation is improving considerably thanks to both Xav's relief supplies and the lightening weather.
Once seeing both his daughters recover from the flu, Prince Xav leaves camp on the 19th to rendezvous with his transport back to Vorbarr Sultana so he can make another risky attempt at getting off-planet and back through the wormhole blockade. Ezar, as Piotr's aide-de-camp, sticks around -- and so does Negri, of course.
Knowing that it would be safer (if less comfortable) and possibly more useful for the Barrayarans to rendezvous with Micah rather than try to get them back off-planet, Xav leaves Doctor Niadem's fate in Barrayaran hands…and not to great result. Now that the Cetagandans have Micah, Piotr and his general staff -- and anyone in-the-know enough about the situation to provide any advisement -- are still debating what to do about Micah and the wormhole device. They could either try to rescue Micah to their side…or leave them in Cetagandan hands and hope to make contact via one of their informants.
This makes cultivating informants on the Cetagandan side an even higher priority, and if anyone has any ties to outsiders on the other side, personal or otherwise, Piotr wants to hear about it. Any intelligence about the Star Gate Project is vital.
plague
The ill in the camp and Riverfall are recovering, slowly, but the flu is still spreading, reaching its apex, and people are still getting sick. Even as the weather clears up, it's still damp, and many of the sick are falling to pneumonia, a near-certain death without antibiotics. They've already exhausted the medical supplies Xav and Ezar brought with them, and the medical raids went poorly -- only resulting in enough antibiotics for about 20% of the village and camp's combined population.
By the end of the month, though, the Barrayarans are finally beginning to pull through. The camp and village start to recover, with the mortalities over the month total to 58 influenza-related deaths. It's time to bury the death, burn a death offering, and keep on moving on.
camp
Both Olivia and Sonia have recovered from their bouts with the flu, more or less intact despite Olivia's very touch-and-go health for a while. Now Sonia's repaying everyone's visits to her by tending to the sick and helping out where she can. And as the weather warms up and people start to recover, the line for the bath tent starts getting longer…it's still pretty cold, but after lying around in the sickbay tent for a while, few people are going to complain for the chance to wash.
Morale is still buckling, so amidst all the doom and gloom, Sonia decides to try and bring a little levity to the camp by hosting a makeshift little art show on the 19th. The Princess can often be seen with her old antique camera, taking candids or scenic pictures in the mountains, although she rarely shows her work to anyone else. Tonight, though, she has hung up a variety of her black-and-white photos around the camp for the art fair -- some of the candids are even of outsiders, and Sonia's aim seems to be catching everyone in their warmest, happiest moment. There's no sense of tragedy or despair in her work.
She's encouraged as many of the soldiers and outsiders to contribute anything in the way of art -- stories, songs, performance, or craft, she invites it all. A few soldiers make a surprisingly harmonic little chorus, and some visiting villagers give engaging tellings of Barrayaran legends. Lakshmi shows off some of her embroidery, and Beth and Tucker both bring a little singing to the table, although the majority of Barrayarans probably aren't going to appreciate a cappella Queen. Daryl shoots a mouse and either fails to understand art entirely or transcends to a brand new plane of artistic enlightenment. Also, please don't let Tucker pose nude for you.
It winds up doing some good for morale -- giving the soldiers some other context to focus on besides the war, something of an escape, or a reminder of what they're fighting for and what they long to live to see again. And for the first time, Sonia doesn't feel quite so useless.
missions
The medical assistance provided by the outsiders doesn't go unappreciated, nor without effect. Not every day is a success, but at least they manage to keep the mortality rate from climbing too high.
The medical raids are a near-unmitigated disaster, with every single raiding party running afoul of Cetagandan guards and losing some of their bounty on the way out. They only manage to make away with supplies/topicals/OTC analgesics for 40% of the population, vaccine for 20% of the population, and antibiotics for 35% of the population.
The race to Micah's location in Vorkosigan Vashnoi is a frantic one, but despite the outsiders' efforts as well as Natasha, Byerly and Kaidan's efforts to slow down the Cetagandans, the Cetagandans get to Doctor Micah Niadem first.
Here are the unabridged mission results.
cetaganda
Piotr's attempt at psychological warfare was a total success: Zahal is furious over the severed body parts of his own soldiers discovered around the camp, and even more so over the wholly unintentional but devastating biowarfare that comes with it. That part has Piotr rather tickled.
With full intel on Micah's location in hand, Zahal sends as many able-bodied squads to Vorkosigan Vashnoi as he can, including several exotics. Natasha, Kaidan and Byerly work covertly to try and slow the operation down, but ultimately, the Cetagandans still reach Micah first and bring them back to base -- taking proper precaution to vaccinate them before bringing them in, of course. It wouldn't do for their newest and very valuable asset to suddenly die of some backwater plague.
The Cetagandan base is still pretty thin on the personnel front, but they're managing to continue operations as normal. The announcement of the visit from the Handmaiden of the Star Crèche has every able-bodied person on base in a frenzy as they try to prepare and make the base suitable for receiving her. This is clearly an occasion of great honor as well as face -- if she were improperly received, ghem-General Zahal and Lady Diya would surely suffer for it.
plague
The plague reaches its apex in the Cetagandan base, but with Ratchet and Natasha's help, they were able to synthesize a vaccine for the flu. The quarantine isn't airtight, so there's still risk of infection, and they have to make sure those distributing the vaccine aren't at risk of spreading the infection. Overall, they're able to inoculate about 80% of the uninfected population.
Amai makes a full recovery, despite being dramatically (albeit not entirely unrealistically) convinced she was on death's door every second.
By the end of the month, the Barrayaran flu has about a 30% mortality rate on the Cetagandan base, resulting in about 3000 influenza-related deaths.
base
The quarantine remains in effect until nearly the end of the month, but finally, once the epidemic has died down and the Handmaiden has been vaccinated, Haut Sei Navarr arrives. The base hurriedly puts together a formal reception for her on the 30th, and rather than another party, it is just that -- a clearly ritualized receiving of her presence, so rarely seen beyond Eta Ceta, let alone the rest of the Empire.
The reception for Haut Sei is exceedingly formal, and unlike the relatively lighter air of the party last month, inappropriate behavior is going to be much less generously tolerated here. The exotics are not required to attend, but if they do, it'll be about a four-hour reception with a clear ritual protocol that will nonetheless seem very obtuse to outside viewers. Diya is prominent in the reception, being the only other haut on base, and is in fact the only one truly suited to receive her -- although, unlike Diya, Haut Sei does not appear in public unmasked. As is the custom of haut ladies still in their constellations, Haut Sei travels in a float chair encased in an opaque force bubble -- she can see out, but no one can see in. She brings with her a small entourage of servitors known as the ba, who serve not only as testing grounds for new genetic combinations, but are also genetically engineered for loyalty and service. Ba are not clones -- each ba is a work of art unto itself, each carefully created, and while they are not quite so fey in their beauty, the aesthetic effort is undeniable. All of the ba with Haut Sei are curiously hairless, which seems to be a popular trend in their design among the haut these days.
Meanwhile on the scientific end, the Cetagandans are delving deeper into what is officially referred to as the Star Gate Project. They're working with Satya to build a hard-light mapping device, but in the meantime, they have laid out the most crucial parts needed to build it: high-precision electromagnetic bearings to hold up the Necklin rods and spin them by a magnetic field for reduced friction; high-quality seals and pumps to create the necessary vacuum required for precise jump-plotting; something generating EM shielding to prevent interference, a problem unique to creating a Necklin field of this size and in this environment; and high-precision controls and controls software based on those used in existing jump ships, modifications for which are underway. And, of course, the Necklin rods themselves, which they have yet to figure out a way to fabricate.
And now that Micah is on base, the Cetagandans can finally put them to work in the wormhole lab on some of those elusive five-space math problems.
They're still developing their theory of neural netting and how a Necklin field might directly interact with the human brain without a jump implant. Based on their research so far, this may not actually be much of a problem, but there's another factor they have yet to work out: how to key the Star Gate to an exotics' own home universe. The Cetagandan neurologists have a few theories that they're working with Deanna and Natasha on.
missions
With help from the exotics, they're able to vaccinate 80% of the base's uninfected population. Satya and Pearl, despite their hard efforts, have yet to finish the hard-light mapping device by the end of the month.
A few exotics learn a bit more about Sei and Diya's history, as well as Diya and Amai's plans for covering up their less than authorized experiments. It also comes to light that the haut are planning to open gene therapy trials for any exotics who experienced power loss.
The race to Micah's location in Vorkosigan Vashnoi is a frantic one, but despite the outsiders' efforts as well as Natasha, Byerly and Kaidan's efforts to slow down the Cetagandans, the Cetagandans get to Doctor Micah Niadem first.
Here are the unabridged mission results.
Note: Negri, Amai, Zahal, and Olivia are available for threads by request only. Please hit up Madi (Negri & Amai) or Ammay (Zahal & Olivia) respectively for you want threads with either of those NPCs. You can also request a thread with Village Speaker Yakiv Gura if you want, in which case hit up Madi.
no subject
The thing about Natasha is how -- similar they are. How they'd learned that without even exchanging words. How it took a week or two of regular sparring just about every day before they had an actual conversation, and how that first conversation was a spilling of secrets neither of them would easily tell anyone else, because they'd already understood their similarities, except they learned even more that day and about how far that went. The only thing Wash particularly fears about how mirrored they are is the knowledge of how broken and miserable he is, deep down, and the understanding that it means that Natasha is probably the same.
So he knows that slight smile, how it seems like she knows something. That look in her eyes when she talks about choking him. The way she'd brought it up differently, in a different breath than she'd spoken about punching him, because that was about violence and anger and this -- was something different she was admitting to. And he knows that he can see all this in her expression at all only because she's letting him.
Wash just smiles a little. ]
Did he like it?
no subject
She looks up at him, matching his smile with one of her own. She can see that he can tell the difference, the way that punching Byerly had been different from her fingers around his throat. Not just in the context but in the layers; she might have legitimately strangled him when she'd thrown him against the wall, but it wouldn't have been like it had in the forest. She'd never do something like that in anger, never when she was that far out of control.
And yet, it got to her, he got to her, made her skin crawl, the way he gasped, the way his body trembled under her, how he leaned up into the press of her fingers as she stole his breath, how his pulse came fast and her breath quickened to match. She sighs and there's a nod of her head, a lift of an eyebrow that says he can't possibly be surprised.] Yeah.
[But there's a tilt of her head, looking at him with a slight shake of her head as her smile curls into something a little lopsided with a breath that's not quite laughter, rubbing absently against where Byerly's teeth had caught on her knuckles, split the skin when she punched him.] And I wouldn't.
[Her words leave half the sentiment unsaid, but she figures he can catch up to what she means. She wouldn't, if he hadn't liked it, hadn't invited it, agreed to play it safe. She wouldn't push, wouldn't take. Not sexually. She's sure that this conversation isn't normal. Pretty sure people don't talk to men they're attracted to about consensual breathplay with someone she's not entirely sure she wouldn't shove off a fucking cliff if the situation arose, but, well. She's not normal, is she?]
no subject
Wash is the same. He wouldn't, either. As terrible as he is, as much as he seeks out people to indulge the terrible impulses he struggles with -- he seeks them out carefully, finds people who understand what the fuck they're getting into. Wash does take, but only what he's given, at least when it comes to this, and for him that might be part of the thrill, anyway, that willing exchange, the idea that someone is giving him that much, trusting him with that much. The complete control. It's been a while, a long while since he's done anything like it, but he does always love that moment when their eyes start to roll back a little, when it's clear how much they're fighting that instinctive impulse to struggle and buck and squirm for the sake of making this last, when Wash leans close with his hand tightening over their throats and he murmurs something fucking filthy right against the breaths they're struggling to take. And the bruises, after. The marks on their skin. he does always like that, too.
He nods. An implicit understanding. And venturing a little, even if it seems a little obvious at this point, drifting half a step closer and reaching out to her hand where she's rubbing over her knuckles, just barely closing his fingers over the back of her hand, thumb lightly tracing over where her skin split against Byerly's teeth. ]
Did you like it?
no subject
But they're mirrored in so many broken ways that this is safe in a way it wouldn't be with anyone else. Not Clint, Steve, not Tony. None of them are quite broken in these ways that she and Wash are. She hadn't done it in a long time prior to Byerly, and the easy excuse is that with SHIELD and then the Avengers she hadn't had the time. The truth is a little more complicated, more about that unpleasant mix of how hard it was for her to trust and that she'd spent so long being careful about who she was at SHIELD it became habit. Easier to pretend to be who they wanted her to be than who she was.
But this side of her had always been there, a song in her veins, of a girl whose first kiss was in the middle of a fight, one she'd stolen and followed with violence. Hands at her throat weren't always a threat. Contrary to what Byerly might have assumed about her, she was just as capable of intermingling roughness and sweetness, it just took trust. And she didn't trust him. She could trust what he was, because she understood spies, thought she could see what kind of spy he was. And that was something, enough for her to take the control he offered even as it blurred the lines a little, evaporated her anger for the moment.
Wash steps in closer, and she watches him, meeting his eyes and there's a slight catch to her breath, something about the way that his finger traces over split skin, her slender fingers curling softly against his. She heals slower here, so the marks are still red and obvious. There's that question and she thinks he already knows the answer, but there are some things where hearing it is important, she knows. Her expression shifts to something halfway between playful and wicked because she is not chaste and she is not a good person. But neither is he, and that's comforting more than anything.] Yes, I did.
[There's a weight to admitting to it, looking into his eyes. It's about more than just Byerly, and there's a faint question to her eyes as she watches him.]
no subject
What was the first thing he'd imagined doing to Byerly, after all, when he had him in that alleyway, when he had him pressed up against his chest? It wasn't just killing him, wasn't just knocking him out, wasn't just fucking him, no. It was pushing him against the wall with his arm locked over his throat, and he likes it that way sometimes instead of with his fingers just because he likes the way it looks when they grab at his arm when they struggle for air, and he'd wondered how much pressure it would take, how much air he would have to force from his lungs before he would finally stop fucking talking.
Maybe a bare hand would've been better. He does always like those bruises.
The corner of his mouth quirks upward, ever so slightly, though his expression is a little quieter than hers, with that same intensity, that same edge of something wicked and raw. He tips his head back ever so slightly, brushes his thumb over the back of her wrist. ]
I would've liked it, too.
[ And then he's pulling his hand away. A moment, that's enough. He looks back at her, and then breaks her gaze, back to the task on hand. ]
He'll use this, Natashka. You know he will -- you gave him too much. [ Falling that half-a-step back he'd taken forward a moment before, leaning back against the edge of the table behind him. ] He'll use me, too.
Don't let him. [ And he's sure she already knows this, but this is still his job, isn't it? To look out for her, that makes this an order, something she actually has to follow, but of course he's a -- a friend, too, he supposes. That's what this is, right? He would call her a friend. ] And if he does press too much, well. I guess we've a couple ideas on what to do with him now, huh?
[ A laugh, there. Just the slightest edge to it. ]
But as much as it pains me to say -- you'll need to play nice, with him. He is a spy for Barrayar, and that means it'll be more useful for both of you to be pointed elsewhere rather than at each other. He has his talents, and you have yours, and we'll find some way to split tasks between you to keep you both safe. I doubt he has the same access to the gene labs that you have. Maybe we'll set him on Diya and Sei, leave your to focus on other work, find another link to wear away at.
We'll have to see. [ A bit of a sigh, his arms folded across his chest. It's back to business, now, well and truly. ] I do have other people I need you to watch, if you know of them already. Symmetra, and Kurt.
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But she likes bruises too, to be honest. No matter whose skin they're on. They don't linger long on her- at least, they didn't before she came here- but she's always had that penchant for idly slotting fingers against sensitive skin, brushing against that sensation of not-quite-discomfort. She'd been colored in blood and bruises since she was young, and those things infected her, twisted in her heart. It's reassuring, somehow alluring to hear that agreement that Wash would have too, even if she'd surmised as much. But it colors her smile, embers in her eyes.
She shivers a little as his fingers drag against the back of her wrist, and there's a moment there where she almost wants to reaches for him, because god but there's a breath where she just wants to kiss him. Those words and the way he looks at her. But he looks away and she can only shake her head and sigh and slip back into something vaguely professional as he brings up that he'll use it. Wash isn't wrong, and she knows it.]
I know, I know. I saw him and I just- I would have punched him in the middle of a hallway. [She frowns as she says it with a touch of distaste that Wash can probably puzzle out. Not just the fact that he knew exactly how much she cared, but because it means that in some sense she owes Byerly. Even if she's not the sort of person where it carries real weight, she still hates it. Because, while she might not have liked the way that he walked her out of the base, he'd likely saved her cover. Which was just one more thing for him to use against her.
There's a flicker of tension in her shoulders at the mention of Byerly using him, because of course he will. She'd given him that weakness, tied it up with a fucking ribbon because it had seemed not as bad as giving him the way that who she was intersected with the masks she wore. She's still not sure she made the right call, but she's not sure it was wrong, either.]
I'll see how I can play it. [Don't let him. She wouldn't give him an inch if she could help it, but, well. To say that things with Byerly had not gone as she'd planned was a gross understatement. But she laughs with him, a curl of her lips and a shake of her head, that shifts into a sigh at the reminder that she needs to play nice with him. But she nods in quiet affirmation that she understands. She twines her fingers together for a moment, but she's sure she can manage it. One way or another. No matter how uncomfortable it may or may not be.]
And I can play nice. I'll make it work. I'll even try not to punch him. [There's a pause, and she considers.] I know them both, but mostly in passing. Kurt- he's from your world, right? Is he one of your friends?
[He'd clearly caught her attention just on that basis alone.]
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And it's a interesting too that it's clear the reason Kurt has caught her attention is because of the knowledge that he might be from his world -- a friend, hah, god, not a friend at all. With anyone else, he would say not to tell Kurt about what he is, about York, but Natasha knows that already, of course. Surely. A shake of his head. ]
I only know he's on the base because of York. [ York had arranged to meet him in the village sometime, apparently, something that Wash still highly disapproves of, but well. ] Kurt is from our world, but not a friend, far from it. He's a Spartan. Another supersoldier program, from our dear men of vision. Genetic engineering, biological augmentations. Probably nullified, just like yours.
I wouldn't trust him. [ Flatly. Spartans, to Wash's mind, are fucking dangerous. Monsters bordering on inhuman -- but not monsters like him or Natasha, no. Monsters in a different way. Brutal, efficient, and loyal to a fault, thats what they were made for. To take orders, to execute orders. And the Cetagandans, he thinks, would fit right into that mold. There's a look in his eyes, too, when he says that, he knows that Kurt will have those augmentations lost in common with you, Natasha, but no, don't trust him, be careful. ] But he'd have a similar implant to what I have.
[ The conclusion he has from that, he leaves unsaid, trusts Natasha to see it on her own. Information about his implant had been pried from him to aid the Cetagandans in their research, and thus he's sure that Kurt would be useful the same way. ]
If we can sway him, I'd rather him over here. [ Not for his sake, no, but here where they can keep a fucking eye on him, where they wouldn't have to fight a Spartan on the other side, where his orders that he always follows can come from Piotr rather than from Zahal -- and because Kurt would have information about his world, about their world, that he'd rather the Cetagandans not have. ] Stay safe, be careful, but do what you can, with that one.