[ april ii log: here's unbroken bone ]

[barrayarmods]

Who: Everyone
What: The sun finally comes out in proper spring, the labs are full of excitement, and Piotr prepares for real war. Your princess is in another castle.
When: April 18th - 30th
Where: the Barrayaran camp, the Cetagandan base, Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD

Quick links:
Riverfall
Barrayar: Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Base / Missions

TIMELINE
4/18 Fast-penta interrogation: Sonia
4/19 Eavesdropping Alpha (Barrayar)
4/21 Eavesdropping Bravo (Barrayar)
4/22 - 4/23 Vorkosigan Vashnoi trips
4/24 Eavesdropping (Cetaganda)
4/25-4/26 Satellite launch
4/27 Flower-viewing party


barrayar
Morale is still recovering after Princess Sonia's capture and the deaths that resulted from the ensuing battle in Riverfall, but at least they were able to make contact with Colonel Vorvolk, the leading officer of the other half of Piotr's army, and reunite the guerrilla army for the first time since their last camp was discovered several months ago. Their discovery is not only timely, but critical -- Piotr intends to launch an attack on the Cetagandan base next month, before any reinforcements can arrive, in order to force Zahal to recall at least part, if not most, of the occupying force in the capital city, so that Piotr's army and the civilian underground resistance can work together to retake Vorkosigan Vashnoi. If they can take back the city and continue to defend it, they might even stand a chance at pushing Zahal's forces out of the district entirely, and considering that Vorkosigan's District is one of the hot spots of the invasion, this might even turn the tide of the whole war in their favor. They'll also be attempting to rescue Sonia during the attack, making the most out of the chaos, but that is their secondary objective.

Zahal, of course, means to make the most out of his new hostage. Knowing for certain now that Piotr's army has contact with the Riverfall villagers -- a fact that puts the camp at risk for discovery once again -- Zahal sends a missive to Riverfall with instructions to pass it along to Piotr. His demands are simple: they'll guarantee the safety and return of the Princess on Piotr's complete surrender. Piotr responds by scrawling a particularly rude and short-worded rebuttal over the original message and has it returned promptly -- stuffed inside the mouth of some poor beheaded ghem soldier, left at one of the base entry gates to be discovered by patrols.

Hopes for a successful attack are bolstered still when word comes that Emperor Dorca and Crown Prince Yuri are on their way to the Dendarii mountains. On the 18th, a courier from Dorca's battalion arrives, only to discover that the first courier sent by Dorca some weeks ago never made it to Piotr's camp to deliver the news. Dorca and Yuri bring with them another 200 soldiers when they arrive on the 20th, which nearly doubles their forces, and, like Colonel Vorvolk's half of the army, they set up camp in another part of the mountains nearby, connected by the cave netwrok that runs through the Dendarii mountains. Unfortunately, the occasion isn't entirely joyous, as Crown Prince Yuri recently lost his only remaining son and heir in battle shortly before departing for Vorkosigan's District. This is not only a sad occasion, but a politically uneasy one: Yuri's wife died some years ago, and while he is next in line to succeed his father as Emperor, the lack of an heir to his own makes for a politically shaky situation. Should he die before producing another heir, the title of Crown Prince will fall to his half-brother Xav instead, and that…brings a whole host of other political issues to the table. Needless to say, while Yuri's succession isn't an immediate issue, the politically savvy are feeling a little nervous about it.

But the war marches on, and preparations must be made. Their odds are better, but they're still vastly outnumbered by the Cetagandans. They'll need the help of the underground civilian resistance to prepare to retake Vorkosigan Vashnoi, as well as some supplies. After all, they'll have an easier time infiltrating the Cetagandan base with a larger force if some of them look enough like Cetagandans.

camp
Although the army is stronger than it has been in months, not all is at peace. Colonel Vorvolk has always been a trusted member of Piotr's general staff and a loyal officer, as well as a long-time acquaintance. However, his views on the outsiders don't exactly align with Piotr's: he thinks Piotr has been much too quick to trust them, especially given that several of them came over from the Cetagandan side, and Duv Galeni hails from Komarr, the planet that sold Barrayar out to the Cetagandans. Vorvolk doesn't believe that the outsiders should be given such freedom or privilege, let alone allow them to participate in critical military operations. Most of his own soldiers seem to share the sentiment, as do the Vorbarra soldiers -- in fact, Yuri vocally agrees with Vorvolk, and those outsiders who have been in Piotr's camp from the very beginning will feel an uncomfortably familiar air of suspicion and mistrust settles over the camp. While nothing has effectively changed -- the outsiders are not segregated away from the camp again as they once were, nor put back under guard -- the Barrayaran soldiers who are comfortable with and even like the outsiders are suddenly in the minority.

While few are foolish enough to disrespect the outsiders where Piotr can see them, some of the soldiers from Vorvolk's and Dorca's camps are borderline hostile toward the outsiders, jeering, taunting, even making hex signs or spitting in the most extreme cases. There are still plenty of soldiers who remain friendly towards the outsiders, but it's leading to friction between them and their other Barrayaran comrades as well. After several days of tension, a major fight breaks out in Piotr's camp over the outsiders' presence, and a few outsiders might even be dragged (or throw themselves) into it. Everyone involved in the fight gets a firm reprimand and then some, and worse still is that the fight does little to ease the tensions -- if anything, it only makes them worse.

Dorca and Yuri's mourning casts a somber air over the camps, and both Emperor and Crown Prince are in grave moods, Yuri's especially prickly. As his son was a public figure, they hold a public burning of death offerings on the 22nd, so that Imperial subjects may pay their respects to the recently deceased Prince. A large pyre is set up within one of the larger caves, so that the smoke will be less conspicuous, and any offerings submitted in earnest will be accepted. Typical Barrayaran death offerings consist of a small lock of one's hair, or, if none is to hand, any other personal object they might have on their person that would burn, such as a piece of clothing.

missions
With contributions of…mixed success from the outsiders, as well as help from the soldiers, the villagers are able to repair some of the homes damaged in the recent skirmish. Some of them are too far gone for repair, and so are broken down to salvage whatever materials they can for other repairs. Considering the village now houses fewer than fifty people, housing space is not a concern at the moment.

Preparations for the coming attack on the Cetagandan base go well overall. The raiding parties manage to steal uniforms and face paint for about 50 soldiers to disguise themselves, and parties sent to Vorkosigan Vashnoi successfully make contact with civilian resistance cells to pass their plans along.

The unabridged mission results can be found here.

cetaganda
Zahal sends his terms to Piotr for Sonia's release, and the gruesome rebuttal -- a crude message scrawled over Zahal's own hand-penned calligraphy, the delicate paper shoved into the gaping mouth of a dead ghem soldier, his head left to be discovered just outside the best -- infuriates him. He's known Piotr for too long to expect him to give in right away, but this is just sheer insult. He's well aware of just how vulnerable the base is right now -- the epidemic has mostly run its course, but their total forces are down to about 6,000 soldiers, and there are only about 100 ghem scientists left. His requests for reinforcements have been delayed by Cetagandan central command -- they have no extra troops they can spare on planet, and it will be another month before more ships arrive. Zahal is struggling to balance out his forces, split between the base and Vorkosigan Vashnoi -- right now binternal base security is badly undermanned in favor of increasing the occupying force in the capital city. Piotr Vorkosigan is too smart a man not to take advantage of an opportunity like this -- Zahal just doesn't know exactly what he's planning to do. The Cetagandan base is in a vulnerable state.

However, there is one edge they have: Cetagandan intelligence knows that Emperor Dorca and Crown Prince Yuri are in Vorkosigan's District. The courier who never made it to Piotr's camp was intercepted by Cetagandan intelligence before he even made it to Vorkosigan's District, and the information was sent accordingly to Zahal's outpost. Piotr might have rejected his first demand -- but would the Emperor, the Princess's grandfather, respond the same?

But as the trials of war marches on, so do the advancements of science. Micah is still hard at work in the labs working on the Star Gate Project, but the data they've been able to gather is incomplete and insufficient. They have convinced the Cetagandan science officers to send a scientific party, Micah included, off-planet to take a closer look at the collapsed wormhole and launch a satellite to record more data. They've made a fair bit of progress in discovering the new type of field generated by the collapsed wormhole, tentatively named the Niadem field after its primary discoverer, but they still know too little about just how and why the exotics have been brought here to complete their designs.

base
Despite the military tensions, the Cetagandans work hard at maintaining a lighter atmosphere around the base. Since the weather this month has finally given them some real relief -- and the epidemic raging the base has been quelled -- the Cetagandans decide to host a flower-viewing party on the 27th in the gardens adjacent to the Grow Labs. It is explained to the exotics that such events are regularly held to herald the coming of spring, although emphasis is placed on the fact that the viewings are usually much more sophisticated and lavish than the 'meager' offerings of the lush gardens on the base.

Typical of Cetagandan functions, it is elegant, overwrought and full of a lot of needlessly artfully crafted food and drinks -- many of them intoxicating, so take care what you drink. Sonia and Micah are both in attendance, although Sonia doesn't look particularly happy to be there. The party is celebrating in particular some of the genetic-botanical achievements of some of the ghem lady artists on the base, as well as some recently genetically engineered koi, to update the atmosphere of the garden to proper spring. However, the real show-stealer is the debut of Amai's personal project: an elaborate zoo-biological sculpture designed as tribute to the Star Crèche itself. It takes up a considerable portion of the back wall of the garden, vinelike branches woven into the trellis, curling and spreading in elaborate patterns, and flowers bloom along the lengths in clusters, each a different color. On a closer look, they can be identified as asters -- but some in colors no one's ever seen an aster before. The vines themselves are ridged with what looks like some kind of delicate fin that sways softly with the slightest breeze, a shimmering dark blue. They look more like koi fins than anything botanical, and with the groups of flowers set over them, it looks something like a night sky. In the center is an elaborately crafted flower sculpture of the Star Crèche's screaming bird insignia in minute detail. And though it is rooted to the rest of the sculpture, it seems to move at times -- the slightest flutter of its wings. The placard placed with it explains that each colored cluster of asters is an artistic representation of one of the Constellations that make up the haut caste. The Navarr constellation, from which both Diya and Sei hail, is flowered in asters of a striking violet color.

As time passes, Haut Sei's presence becomes more palpable on the base, and her force bubble is seen more frequently outside of the science/medical complex. Though she and Diya are working closely together, it's clear to anyone who spends enough time around them that there is some tension between them. Ba Talim is almost always present when they are together, although it can at times be found on its own around the base.

missions
The gene therapy trials take a turn for the worse despite glimmers of promise earlier on, and all three subjects suffer from complications with no progress made.

The investigation into the weapons smuggling operation is ultimately a failure -- while they are able to track down one of the resistance cells, the civilians involved manage to get away before any useful information is extracted from them. The next time Cetagandan soldiers return to the place where they'd been discovered, the establishment has since been boarded up and closed down.

The unabridged mission results can be found here.

Note: Gavalas, Ezar and Gail are both available for threading on request. Hit Madi (Gavalas) or Ammay (Ezar & Gail) up if you are interested!

Comments

[protocol]

[ Welp. Here we are again. ]

You know it's not like that.

[dendarii]

[ Miles is determined, okay. But... his energy is fading with each loop, and he's reaching the end of it now. ]

It would be easier if it were. I'm used to it. This is new.

[protocol]

[ To Wash it is starting to seem like the only way to stop Miles from anything is to match his energy as much as possible until he wears himself out. The persistence is still pretty remarkable. it's -- flattering. As much as Miles might not believe it, dealing with this is genuinely new for him, too. But he knows himself, right? He knows himself, knows his patterns, and he doesn't want to do that, to him. ]

I'm sorry, Miles. [ Genuine, soft. The vulnerability is still difficult for him, and it's the same pattern again with how he says something like that and follows it immediately with something lighter. ] You could pretend that I just hated you, if you like, but you'd know it isn't true.

[dendarii]

[ He just shakes his head slowly. Leaning his head down against the table. No, he doesn't want Wash's hate. The same as he doesn't want Elena's. No, he wants her happiness - and he wants Wash's too. With or without him as a partner. And it's not as though they're not friends, as thought that isn't the actual most important part of this conversation.

Apropos of nothing visible, he blurts out: ]

Do you hate me? For asking perpetually?

[protocol]

[ Blinking at him in slight confusion, for a moment, only because of how he'd. Really not even considered that. ]

No. [ On it's own, he honestly doesn't -- mind it. He doesn't mind the flirting alone, right, it's just what's under it that makes it difficult, and even then. ] I'm just. Not used to it.

The only thing I might hate about it is if you were making yourself miserable about it.

[dendarii]

[ A flare of stubbornness. ]

You can't control that. I'll be miserable if I want to be.

[protocol]

I didn't think I could control it.

But I wouldn't like it, if you were.

[dendarii]

[ He deflates a bit at that. ]

Well. I want you to be happy. Which includes not harping on this forever.

[protocol]

I don't really mind, I just -- don't want you to torture yourself over me, or something.

[ Not that he thinks that's what he's doing? Look, he doesn't know. He worries, but the idea of anyone wanting him that much is still actually difficult for him. It's not that he thinks of himself as unattractive, but it's just. This is different. It feels strangely presumptuous to assume Miles has been making himself miserable.

But just, the way he talks about it sometimes. ]

I'm sure there's a balance to be found somewhere. [ But ah, in an effort to lighten things again, and because he's not quite done teasing anyway; ] But you've your queen, don't you?

[dendarii]

[ Ah, that's a good distraction. He flushes quite deeply at the mention of Lakshmi.

But don't underestimate Miles' capability for feeling passionately about people. It's really the only setting he has, for better or for worse. Of course he cares for Wash. There's no reason why he shouldn't. ]

She's not mine. I'm hers, if anything.

[protocol]

[ Wash just isn't used to it. Despite how deeply he loves his friends and hoe he knows they care for him in turn, he sometimes struggles with even that, with just how much they value him. Let alone with anything like this.

Miles' blushing whenever he talks about someone he likes is still absolutely adorable. If Miles ever gets like that talking about Wash, he'd probably. Not entirely know what to make of it. Aside from adorable. ]

Her sword, yes. And swords do mean a lot to her.

[dendarii]

[ He's definitely blushing like that for you too, Wash. Jeez. Just - mostly for Lakshmi right this second. ]

They do. I know. And I'm - deeply grateful. She didn't want to do anything either for fear of hurting me.

[ Or being unable to commit to what Miles really wants. That's still up in the air, temporary. He's not even sure if they're exclusive or not. ]

[protocol]

[ Look, it doesn't really register as for him a lot of the time. Wash has weird issues about not getting how other people actually see him, he's a little too busy beating himself up most of the time.

And given that Miles has spent this conversation trying really hard to get a kiss out of him, and from the way Miles had described it as something, he's assuming that what they have is likely non-exclusive. Or that would be weird. What would Miles even have done if he'd said that no, it wasn't okay for him to look elsewhere, Wash wonders. ]

And yet she's overcome that.

Someone like her should be able to closer to what you want, no?

[dendarii]

[ Miles just rolls right along without thinking, okay. This is the man who slept with Taura while mostly kind of actively dating Quinn, and kept sleeping with her even after they were definitely together. Saying no is too damn hard for him. ]

If you mean I could probably marry her if she permitted it, yes. I couldn't marry you here. Not in my own time, definitely not here.

[ He's quite certain marriage is off the table for Lakshmi regardless, but. This is how he thinks. ]

[protocol]

[ Meanwhile that is like the opposite of how Wash thinks. ]

And you wonder why I don't believe you whenever you try to sound casual. [ Fondly, though, and there's a bit of a laugh, there. ] I just meant -- something solid. Commitment, more than a night, more than a few nights.

Marriage is maybe very very far in the other direction, but I guess that answers the question in a way.

[dendarii]

[ See, now he's definitely flushing because of you. Just out of embarrassment now. ]

Would more than a few nights really be that bad? I promise I'm a very attentive partner.

[protocol]

[ Don't be silly, that's clearly out of embarrassment of the topic and very little to actually do with him personally. Of course. ]

I don't doubt that.

[ Seriously you're probably the most attentive lil puppy. Can't imagine how you'd be any other way. ]

The problem really is me, you know. Not you.

[dendarii]

[ Ridiculously attentive. Utterly puppyish, even with people who sleep with him repeatedly. He is always, always excited to be there. ]

So you say, yes. I'm still not completely sure why, except that you think you'll hurt me. Why don't you want to? I could be very tempting.

[ That last bit comes out quite sarcastically. Even when trying to get at Wash, he can't call himself tempting without deep, desperate self-revulsion. ]

[protocol]

[ Ah, the bite in those last few words isn't quite hard to notice. Part of him aches a little. It really isn't about anything like that, and no doubt Miles knows that already, but after everything he's had to live through. He can't say he doesn't understand what that might come from. He has his own self-revulsion he struggles with, after all, even if it's a different kind.

And as for the question, well. Maybe he hasn't been clear enough. He'll try, pointedly as he can to drive it home, but the fondness in his voice is hard to miss, too. ]

Because you've a self-admitted weakness to any kind of attention. Because I think you just might be the most singularly romantic person I think I've ever met, and I mean singularly. Like you've managed to avoid all the weary cynicism about love in the entire galaxy and gathered up everything still hopeful left and had it collapse into an actual singularity that you keep in your back pocket.

[ Look the closest thing to people having a stable romantic relationship he's personally seen in his life are soldiers with partners back home they inevitably failed to get back to, or Carolina and York, and those two are special. ]

You get attached quickly. You do things without thinking. You want and hope for something out of the people you're with, and I don't think you can help it. And none of those are terrible things at all, Miles, except love or a relationship or anything past a meaningless fuck in the back alley of a spaceport isn't something I really think I'm capable of.

[ A bit of a sigh, leaning back heavily in his seat, raking a hand through his hair again. ]

Is that clear enough? [ . . . He hopes you'll remember this, sober. ]

[dendarii]

[ He quiets at that, listening attentively. Letting the words wash over him, thinking hard about all of it. Nothing is a surprise, and many of these pieces he's already heard in isolation. All together ... It paints a fuller picture. A sad and lonely picture, by Miles' reckoning. A life he never wants to live himself. ]

I see plenty of cynicism. That's why I have to hope - because I'm the only one who will. Everyone else sees me and doubts.

[ Though maybe hope is not quite the right word. Challenge, maybe. He's just relentless more than anything, because there is no other way forward. ]

But yes, I understand your way of thinking. Why you think that way.

I just think ... that you are capable of it, Wash. That you would be if you gave yourself a chance.

[protocol]

[ A very sad and lonely picture. But Wash has long ago accepted that's what he'll be.

That is one difference between them, for all their similarities. Wash has done his fair share of fighting, has powered through so much through raw determination, but in so many ways he's just so, so tired. He fought as hard as he could but he was never good enough. Everyone around him was always better. He never needed to be the best, he just needed to do enough, to make a difference, to carve out something for himself, and he's never, ever been able to.

Wash still has his determination, but where Miles still has his greater goals to hold onto, Wash has given up on all but one. Nothing about making a difference, nothing about wanting to make things better in a war-torn galaxy. All he wants anymore is to pour everything he has left into protecting the few, desperate things he's somehow held onto. Nothing more than that. Not anymore. And when it comes to love, it's the exact same way. Too beaten down, too sure in his belief he's held for most of his life that's only gotten stronger as time went on, that he's dangerous, terrible, undeserving. ]

You've said that before. [ He smiles a little. He does appreciate it, but. ] It takes -- a kind of strength, to go through lives like ours, and come out the other end still more or less in one piece.

I don't think I have that. Not in the same way you do.

[dendarii]

[ Kindred souls, then. Miles just wishes he could convince Wash of his point of view. Preferably with his mouth, in multiple ways. ]

You think I've come out in one piece?

[protocol]

Not really, no.

[ None of them have, really. ]

But not as broken when it comes to this as I am, I guess.

[dendarii]

Have you ever tried to let someone put you back together, Wash?

[protocol]

[ The truth is that honestly that he's more than self-punishing enough to think he probably doesn't deserve to actually get better, even if he could. ]

Not really.

It's fine, Miles. I'm more than used to it.