[ may i log: the good fight ]

[barrayarmods]

Who: Everyone
What: The culmination of months of planning and suffering finally comes to bear as the Barrayarans launch their debilitating attack on the Cetagandan base. Politics, as always, go sight unseen but felt everywhere.
When: May 1st - 18th
Where: the Barrayaran camp, the Cetagandan base, Riverfall Village
Warnings: TBD

Quick links:
Riverfall
Barrayar: Camp / Missions
Cetaganda: Base / Missions

TIMELINE
5/5 Eavesdropping
5/7 Hacking
5/11 Mystery Plot
5/15 Attack on the Cetagandan base

riverfall
The village is finally starting to get back on its feet after a few blessedly uneventful weeks. Other than the routine Cetagandan patrols, there hasn't been much activity in the village, and no new strife. The villagers merely continue their rebuilding efforts and tend to their fields, and they'll still gladly accept any help offered by outsiders.

With the village down nearly half its population, there's room to grow, even after last month's fight destroyed some of the homes, so Speaker Gura has been taking in refugees from other nearby hill villages – about ten refugees have moved to settle anew in Riverfall in the last few weeks.

barrayar
The time to strike is now.

All three camps are preoccupied with preparations for the attack on the 15th: as far as Barrayaran intelligence knows, no reinforcements are on their way to the Cetagandan base, and the guerrillas need to strike while the Cetagandans are still down nearly half their forces. It's the only shot they have at forcing the occupying troops to leave Vorkosigan Vashnoi and give them a chance at retaking the city – and they're not throwing away this shot, because they might not get another one.

The political unease surrounding Dorca and Yuri is a quieter tension, plaguing only those politically savvy (or well-positioned) enough to understand the situation, but if you're paying close enough attention to the moody Crown Prince, you'll note that Yuri's primary concern isn't the outsiders, but something much closer to home. He's never been a particularly warm man by anyone's account, but lately he's especially given to foul moods, and only part of it is grief for his most recently deceased son.

All further attempts at hostage negotiation from Zahal have been as curtly denied as the first, and just about as politely. Incorporating a rescue plan into their attack strategy wasn't exactly easy, but they won't get another shot than this at rescuing Princess Sonia – or Byerly, whose cover as a spy was recently blown during a failed attempt at smuggling Sonia out of the base. On the 15th, the Barrayarans prepare for war, some donning Cetagandan uniforms and face paint, others swiping mud over their faces to better camouflage themselves in the dark.

And the attack is a success. There's no real such thing as acceptable loss, but the top brass consider the 70 lives spent on the attack a fair cost for what they got: almost destroying the immediate Cetagandan power supply and the return of their Princess. Plus Byerly. The mood lightens considerably, but there is no rest in war, and just as soon as they take their next victory, Piotr, Dorca and Yuri are already planning the next move: finally retaking Vorkosigan Vashnoi.

camp
All three camps are heavily preparing, officers running drills nearly around the clock, quartermasters taking inventory and making sure every piece of equipment is clean and in working order, medical officers and techs preparing the sickbay tent as best they can for the inevitable injured who will return.

But despite the impending mission, tensions are still rising within the army – while top brass is vocally discouraging the fights that have broken out, it hasn't put a complete stop to them, and no one has openly endorsed the outsiders except for Piotr Vorkosigan. Vorvolk and Yuri are both still staunchly in the skeptic camp at best, but Dorca does not seem to have passed a final judgment on the outsiders before the attack. Perhaps he's merely biding his time, because for all the dissent about the outsiders, the Emperor hasn't barred Piotr from letting them participate in critical missions.

The soldiers make enough noise about it on their own. They're especially tetchy about the outsiders who crossed over from the Cetagandan side – they're as good as spies, as far as some of the soldiers are concerned. But even worse is letting Duv Galeni, a Komarran, not only remain in camp and feed on their resources, but actively participate in missions. For the most part, the soldiers in camp who have known the outsiders from the start and have befriended them are sticking with them, but the half of Piotr's army that was with Vorvolk after the split when the location of their last camp was discovered by the Cetagandans are nearly as suspicious as the Vorbarra battalion. Hostility towards Duv and those who escaped from the Cetagandan camp is especially severe, and it's no secret that some of them would prefer the outsiders dead rather than taking up space and resources in their army, though no one has been so bold as to actually make any attempts. Falco Vorkalloner, one of the Rangers who had been in Vorvolk's half of the army, hasn't been afraid to make his voice heard, though. He's even been heard saying that he thinks someone ought to make an example out of the Komarran and demonstrate just what they think of those who would side with the Cetagandans.

After the attack, the atmosphere of the camp is noticeably changed – the return of the Princess as well as what can only be considered a resounding victory for the Barrayarans has led to a jubilant and triumphant environment. And with Barrayarans, all celebration comes with a whole lot of drinking. Wine, vodka and maple mead are passed around aplenty in the nights and days following the attack, as soldiers burn offerings for their dead comrades and trade stories of action.

The tension with the outsiders begins to lessen after this victory, too. The fact that two outsiders, Wash and Lucy, are responsible for the Princess's rescue goes a long way toward relations between the outsiders and the rest of the army, and after the attack, Dorca gives the outsiders his endorsement as comrades to be trusted and honorary warriors fighting alongside them. Of course, this doesn't mean all hostility and tension merely dissipates – there are still plenty of soldiers like the now-deceased Falco who still think the outsiders are a threat and a parasitic presence. But things do start to lighten up a little after this victory...finally.

missions
General Piotr Vorkosigan himself leads the attack on the Cetagandan base, and Yuri leads his own contingent. Although there are some hitches getting in undetected, their plans to disable base security are overall successful, as is their sabotage of the power supply generators and Sonia and Byerly's rescue.

Meanwhile, Lakshmi and Sisko have found Falco Vorkalloner's dead body, and while it looks like an accident, it also looks like someone might have taken care to make sure it looked like one.

The unabridged mission results can be found here.

cetaganda
The social relief brought by the flower-viewing party quickly fades, and tension settles back over the Cetagandan base, underlined by Zahal's frustration with Piotr's flat-out refusal to meet his demands, or even so much as discuss them. He's sent more than one political ransom demand since Dorca's arrival, too, but to no effect. Given the recent guerrilla activity in Vorkosigan Vashnoi, he knows Piotr must be planning something, but with no informants left in the Barrayaran army, his intelligence is dry, and the investigations into weapons smuggling were ultimately fruitless. All known civilian resistance cells seem to have scattered and disappeared, their bases of operation boarded up or burned down. All he can do is concentrate as many troops as he can afford on the city's occupation, though he doesn't leave the base totally unmanned. But he does add another thousand troops to the occupying force in Vorkosigan Vashnoi in the week before the attack on the base.

Not everyone is being sent over, though, and the transfer doesn't make for as smooth a cover as one might hope. Gail is caught on an unauthorized trip to the city while off duty, and you might hear -- or overhear -- the dressing-down he gets from his commanding officer for it. He doesn't appear to have a ready excuse for it -- at least, not one that doesn't sound flimsy as hell.

Military matters affect those of the Star Crèche, however, and Zahal's frustration does not touch that sphere. Not that it isn't without its own tensions -- anyone who spends enough time with Diya and Sei (and Ba Talim, for that matter) will feel the rising tensions between them, though their origins are as obscure as the haut always are. The Star Gate Project, now officially under the jurisdiction of the Star Crèche, continues on with Micah at the lead, although they haven't for a moment forgotten that they are a prisoner here, or where their true loyalties lie.

After the attack, Zahal's fury reaches a boiling point, and since the Barrayarans did so much infrastructural damage, the consequences of military matters finally reach Diya and Sei, rankling them, too. The power shortage and damage to the science/medical complex has put a serious damper on Star Gate research, although as far as anyone is aware, the gene therapy trials and other related Star Crèche research goes on unimpeded, thanks to the successful protection of the secondary backup generator, which seems to exist only to power the medbay and gene labs. But since power is a hot commodity right now, Zahal is going to start pushing to reroute some of that power to what the haut would probably deem as lower priority needs.

base
The mood around the base is restless, Zahal's frustration trickling down into tensions among his officers and seeping into the very atmosphere. They're hardly prepared for the attack that comes because they don't even know what to expect. The soldiers all seem on edge, nervous, a little tetchy, particularly after Tarn's altercation with Diya and Natasha, and then the failed attempt to smuggle out the Princess -- but that did, at least, lead to the outing of Byerly Vorrutyer as a spy among the Cetagandans, confirming some suspicions held by the higher brass in Cetagandan intelligence. About the only comfort, if one can call it that, in all this tension is Byerly's summary fast-penta interrogation.

The gene therapy trials, despite some...trials, continue, and with much greater success than last month. Sei and Diya are as impassive as ever, but even so, there's a tangible undercurrent of mixed relief and triumph. Micahworks as feverishly as ever on the Star Gate Project with the aid and oversight of the military's scientific division and the exotics working as lab assistants. The satellite launch has proven to be a highly productive venture -- it's yielding data they couldn't have gathered otherwise, which is proving to be critical, and Micah spends time having Kaidan, Symmetra and Pearl put through another series of brain scans and consulting the neurology team as they study the results.

Although Sei is never seen outside of her force bubble, and doesn't actually travel around the base all that much, her presence seems to dominate the more civilian areas of the base, overshadowing even Diya -- although Diya is considerably less visible around the base after her altercation with Tarn. Amai is, of course, somehow seen just about everywhere, a constant social and professional presence that refuses to let anyone forget she's there. But after the 5th, she seems to be troubled -- she's far less impassive than the haut, and her anxiety and discomfort are much easier to see.

After the attack, Diya seems somewhat shaken -- it's almost impossible to tell how Sei is affected, but with facilities down, audits are being done on all existing projects to determine what's important enough to remain active while they have limited power. The base isn't quite in a shambles, but there's a lot of damage -- while the Barrayarans personally only carry swords and bows, they clearly have no issue with taking the Cetagandans' plasma arcs to wreak havoc at home -- and the atmosphere is overall demoralized. Sending more troops to Vorkosigan Vashnoi was clearly the wrong move, and it's a bitter pill to swallow, but Zahal begins to recall troops from the city in small waves to help better man the base, knowing full well that this must have been what Piotr intended.

missions
A few interesting tidbits are overheard in the dark of night, and Amai finds herself in the uniquely uncomfortable position of holding Diya's dark secret in one hand, and Sei's in the other -- and Ba Talim seems to know something, though it isn't clear what. And some creative hacking turns up some unexpected dirt on Sei that makes Diya's illicit ba experiments look like mere misdemeanors.

Despite the best efforts of the soldiers and the exotics and the fact that, even undermanned, they still outnumber the guerrillas by a landslide, the base is still overrun by Barrayarans and their attack is successful. The main and backup power generators are totally disabled for the time being, and it's unclear how long it will be before full power is restored to the base.

The unabridged mission results can be found here.

Note: Gavalas, Olivia, Zahal, Diya, and Sei & Ba Talim are available for threads on request. Hit up Madi (Gavalas, Diya, Sei & Ba Talim) or Ammay (Olivia & Zahal) if you'd like threads with these characters!

Comments

[vorrutyer]

Of course.

[ He says that easily, quickly, without hesitation. It's...not as easy as that, he knows; he knows he'd recoil from it. Or he wants to think he'd recoil from it. Maybe the sight and scent of blood would make him revert to type, would awake a viciousness in him...But no; no. He'd sat in on the torture of Duv Galeni and had just felt sick. There isn't some magical on-switch for him.

So yes; he'd flinch. But he's ImpSec-trained. They don't recruit people who can't do what's needed. And, what, he's going to be more squeamish than Miles? Miles the Noble and Good? If the dwarf can kill people, he can kill people. ]

I just haven't been in circumstances where I've had to. Could you kill a man if you just wanted to?

[protocol]

Yes.

[ He absolutely could. It doesn't mean it wouldn't sicken him, that he wouldn't be horrified later, that he wouldn't hate himself for what he'd done. But kill a man because he wanted to, because he was angry, yes, definitely yes. He'd like to think he's better than that now, but. He isn't sure about that. ]

I'm a soldier, remember? Killing's basically what I'm for. But you know what's the worst part, about killing a man? The thing that they don't prepare you for?

[ Have a guess. ]

[vorrutyer]

The way they shit themselves?

[ The profanity is a defense - a smokescreen, to hide his discomfort with the topic. ]

[protocol]

[ A remarkably transparent defense. Part of Wash might be a little amused by it, regardless. ]

How easy it really is.

And the way it gets even easier.

[vorrutyer]

Mm.

[ He crosses his arms, shifting uncomfortably and trying to hide it. ]

Easier. Meaning what? You kill people now you think you wouldn't have killed before?

[protocol]

[ Wash can see that discomfort, and honestly, if Byerly wasn't uncomfortable, that would be the worry. He might be doing that on purpose, a little. Trying to see how uncomfortable he really is, with this, trying to draw a reaction out of him. But none of what he's saying is untrue. Maybe a little dramatized, because Wash might have a natural penchant for that, but. Still true. ]

Think about it this way.

First time you ever have sex. [ Is he directly comparing killing people to having sex? Yes. Look, he knows that's something Byerly would be able to relate to, and. He's kind of messed up, that's established by now -- and he is trying to see if he can make him uncomfortable, still. ] Never supposed to forget it, right? All sorts of buildup and anticipation. Then it turns out it's not actually anything special, except for fumbling awkwardness. Years down the line, you maybe get a little starry-eyed if you think about it, but you definitely don't remember the details of it anymore. Turns out it's not really that big of a deal.

And when you do it for work, you stop really thinking about it. Or the consequences.

[vorrutyer]

Mm.

[ And you said you wouldn't be a danger to my world. The discomfort isn't feigned - no. Even now, his mouth is a little drawn. But internally, he's remembering every word of this. Every intonational contour, every hint at just how brutal Wash can be. Because if he needs to recommend to Vorkosigan that they force Wash and his friends back through the Star-Gate at swordpoint, then he'll make that recommendation, no matter his own growing sentimental feelings. ]

Of course, sex is supposed to feel good. Killing isn't.

[protocol]

[ He really doesn't kill indiscriminately, at least -- but it is remarkably routine, to him. A soldier, not a weapon. A person and not a monster. He may doubt his sanity, always feels like it's slipping further and further from his reach if he ever really had it at all, but all that means ( these days, at least ) is that with every clear-minded thought he has, he does his damned best to do some right.

Which honestly, might be why he's pressing this. He thinks he can sense some of that in Byerly, too. ]

Not supposed to. But you know what gets all people going, don't you? [ Ain't that your job. ] A flash of something. A moment of mattering. And what's more of a power trip than ending a life with a pull of a trigger?

It's a hell of a lot easier to get from man to monster than you think. Genetic predisposition be damned, it's in just about everyone -- but that's why you guard against it. Watch for it. Never let it take you.

[vorrutyer]

[ His smile is razor-thin. ]

My job is to find the ordinary men who have turned into monsters, Wash. The ones who have been seduced by power or by fame or, as Miles Vorkosigan has the oddest habit of saying, by elephants. You don't need to teach grandmere to suck eggs.

[protocol]

[ Miles has asked him about an elephant once, come to think of it. Some faint amusement, there. ]

Then you know they're everywhere, and everyone.

[ Watching him so closely again, now. Searching. Prying. ]

What is it you're afraid of becoming?

[vorrutyer]

[ Parrying without hesitation: ]

What are you afraid of becoming? If you already consider yourself something of a creature of shadows, what darkness is it that you fear?

[protocol]

There's always worse.

[ He's been worse. ]

You didn't answer me.

[vorrutyer]

Answer me and I'll tell you.

[protocol]

[ This again. That whole going first thing wasn't a brand new habit of Byerly's, unfortunately, but he could hope. Still, he's already said enough for it to be obvious, as far as he's concerned. ]

Isn't it obvious already?

I lost my mind once. I'm not sure I ever got it back. I'm afraid of how true that might be, or of losing it again.

[vorrutyer]

And what is the difference between you then and you now?

[protocol]

[ He thinks Byerly already knows, honestly. It's the first thing he called him out on, this entire night. ]

Control.

[vorrutyer]

[ A small smile. ]

And just how fragile is that?

[protocol]

Fragile enough you shouldn't test it.

[ Not as fragile as Wash thinks it is. He's really managed to get to a much better place, but how can he ever learn to trust himself again, after watching all of it shatter so completely. ]

You still aren't answering me, Byerly.

[vorrutyer]

[ He shrugs. Hesitates a moment, then answers: ]

I'm afraid of becoming like my great-grandfather Pierre Le Sanguinaire, who put his torture chambers adjacent to his bedrooms so the sounds could soothe him at night. Or like my uncle Ges, who took Prince Serg Vorbarra as his protege and extended his corruption to others. Or like my great-great-aunt Aleksandra, Yuri's mother, who even now is locked up in a tower raving and trembling, babbling incoherently, because I don't have anyone who'd have the decency to buy me a tower and so I'd end up a madman on the street, reeking of piss and being pitied by all passers-by. Or like my father, who thinks himself sane but who hasn't left his home in five years - who just sits and obsesses over his finances as filth piles up around him. There are so very many options, Washington.

[protocol]

[ He listens. Attentive, absorbing, memorizing as always, picking and pulling apart -- but there's something different in the way he listens to this. Something quieter, softer. When Byerly's done, he waits, just to make sure there's nothing more he wants to say.

A quiet sound. His eyes closing briefly, but he opens them again to look at Byerly, when he answers. ]

I understand how that feels.

[ To an extent, at least. He doesn't have the extended family of references, no, but Byerly has never been there, either, and Wash has. The inevitability of it. The dread, the fear. He understands that. And Byerly can take and leave that how he pleases. ]

[vorrutyer]

Mm.

[ He looks down, studying his shoes a moment. A little quietly: ]

I suppose I seem impossibly self-indulgent.

[protocol]

[ He'd been expecting something quite a bit more deflective. He'll take it. ]

Not so much. [ But, you know. Also not no. ]

[vorrutyer]

[ A little bitter laugh at that. He caught the nuance. ]

What, no contempt from the man who's actually struggling with madness? How generous, Washington.

[protocol]

I don't think your struggle is any less real.

The fear of it is just as bad, sometimes.

[vorrutyer]

Ooh, aren't you polite. It's all right to tell me I'm being a bit bullshit.